Sunday, January 29, 2006
"These footprints lead right back to [his] house,
Where [he] sits with an open mouth,
dripping with apologies,
while my blood drips down [his] hands."
--"Love Is What Broke Me," Jason Space-Station Cramer
Hey friends. I'm thinking about putting an ad in the personals section. What do you think?
Single white female seeks single (or not) male for deep conversations and laughter that will later become painful memories for me. Must be intelligent and fun, someone to fall in love with and then to have break my heart. A little about me: equally-proportioned redhead with above-average I.Q. and a potential for humor. My type of guy: skinny, talented and whacky guys who I'm sure are genuinely interested in me and who then shock me by being genuinely interested in someone else. Usually that someone else is prettier, younger, has nicer clothes, is more socially mainstream, and/or possesses other qualities that I just can't compete with. The ideal man should also be too wonderful to blame for not wanting me, therefore making the whole ordeal more heart-breaking. Would also settle for a man who turns out to be a complete jerk when it comes to relationships, so that I can get angry and bitter and therefore ruin our friendship, either permanently or at least for a very long time. Please answer ad as soon as possible, so that my heart can be freshly healed just in time for you to break it again.
Okay, it's really not as bad as I make it out to be. In a moment of madness and loneliness and frustration I wrote this little personal ad, and felt much better after doing so. Life really is okay, and in no way do I mean to point fingers or play the victim or lay a guilt trip on the male portion of the human race. It wasn't even written with anything in mind but to purge my system of all it's frustration. (It should also be noted that to anyone who thinks this is directed at or related to them in some particular way, relax. It's cool.) So now that I've written a lengthy disclaimer about what the point is NOT, I guess I can tell you what the point IS. The point is, as Scott said recently, DATING = DRAMA. I wish it didn't, but quite frankly, I don't see any way around it. I'm just sick of it. Too bad I still want romance.
Anyway, I'm sure someone who reads this can relate. So hopefully, if you can relate, you've found some comfort in my own little catharsis. Rock on, singles.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Announcements! I chopped off my hair! Mwa ha ha ha! It feels absolutely wonderful. And doesn't look too bad either, if I do say so myself. =) It looks a lot like Julia Roberts' hair in the movie "Hook"...sort of messy and pixie-ish. Technically, I wasn't really supposed to cut my hair. During "Our Town," Patty (costumes) forbade me to cut my hair and told me I must start growing it out so that she never has to put a wig on me again. But here's the thing: I haven't been onstage SINCE "Our Town" and that's almost a year ago. I've been growing my hair out for almost a year and I won't be onstage until at least summer. And it's so thick when it's long that it drives me CRAZY, and if I try to put it up, it takes forever, and gives me a headache by the middle of the day anyhow. So I figure, I'd rather the hassle of a wig for a 3-week run every now and then or something than the hassle of dealing with my own long hair every day of my life. Besides, I'm stressed and sort of blue, and when I get that way, I change my hair. It's cathartic.
Maybe I'll try and get a picture up here sometime soon.
We have new FHE brothers. Sad day. And if I said I liked our new ones, I'd be a little dishonest. I've only just met them, but even if I didn't have Sunrise 17 to compare them to, they just aren't the types of guys I'd be friends with. Not to mention the fact that I'm a little wary of boys at the moment. Problem is I can only take girls for so long. Thank goodness for gay guy-friends...you're safe as far as I'm concerned, not to mention wonderful and I love you! (Well, I love you no matter what, actually. SSA has not much to do with it, except that it makes me trust you more than other guys who may intentionally or unintentionally rip my heart out.)
Uh, other announcements. I started out this blog with so many more in my head. Let's see...I'm getting my patriarchal blessing here in a couple weeks! I'm so excited. I'm 20 years old and just now getting it. Somehow I just never got around to it before. But I look forward to the guidance and blessing it will be for me.
I finally got a little income. With a late christmas gift from parents, I was able to go GROCERY SHOPPING at last and now my larder is blissfully full! I also made $50 judging a high school speech and debate tournament this last weekend. I'd never done that before, and at first it was a little intimidating because I had hardly a clue what I was doing. But I learned and was trained as I went along, and it was a TON of fun. I learned a lot too. And holy crap, do those kids know their stuff. It was a reaffirmation of my desire to teach high school. Although I felt like I should be much taller. Anyway, I hope to do it more in the future.
Although I also hope to have a permanent job in the future. Everyone pray for me please.
I love you all and think of you daily. You're in my prayers always. In the words of Rebekah, "shalom" and in the words of me, "rock on."
Friday, January 20, 2006
Rexburg, Idaho is a small town. 94% Republican, mostly farmers and teachers, the majority of businesses found on one main street. And yet in spite of its quiet exterior, this college town’s streets were once a scene of chaos. For one night, the alleys knew the brightness of searchlights, the streets knew the frenzied tread of police-car tires, the night air knew the scream of sirens. This was the night that would live on in the memories of Rexburg citizens for years…the night of The Great Madison County Book Heist.
Like all criminal stories, this one began with an innocent human desire. Jenny Evans and Liz Whittaker simply wanted to read. But their humble wishes were frustrated when the librarian denied Jenny a library card, due to lack of acceptable proof of address. Angered and hurt, these two college girls began to walk home through the snow.
After a short silence, an angry rhetorical question burst from Jenny’s lips.
“What kind of library asks for proof of address?!”
“I know!” Liz added. “What are they going to do with it—track you down if you return books late?”
“That’s just ridiculous! If they don’t believe me when I tell them where I live, they just don’t get my patronage!”
“But I wanted those books!” Jenny added in a whine.
“Me too!” Liz said sadly.
“We should have just grabbed them and run,” Liz said, angrily kicking at the snow.
“We totally should have.”
Liz stopped mid-stride. Jenny continued a few more paces before she noticed, then turned and asked “What?”
“Why don’t we?”
Jenny looked at Liz quizzingly. “Why don’t we what?”
Liz’s eyes glinted and a smile crept over her lips. She jogged to catch up with Jenny, then whispered “Rob the library.”
Jenny’s eyes widened. “Do what?!”
“Rob the library,” Liz repeated. “We can disguise ourselves—they’ll never know who we are—and we can even probably return them when we’re done, so it’s not like we’re actually stealing.”
Jenny turned and began walking again. Liz walked alongside her, watching her face for some sign of agreement.
After a long while Jenny spoke. “Just walk in and take the books?”
“Sure,” Liz replied.
“What about alarms?”
“We can knock them out on the way in.”
“And they won’t know who we are?”
“Won’t have a clue.”
Two hours later, two girls dressed in black walked casually toward Madison County Library. The night was cold and the clouds hid the stars, darkening the shadows the two figures cast as they walked.
At the library door, Jenny Evans and Liz Whittaker exchanged a glance and smiling, pulled on their ski masks.
Liz pulled a pistol out of the pocket of her backpack, cracked her neck, and pushed open the library door.
“Everybody down please,” Jenny said, pistol in hand. Behind her, Liz smashed the alarm system with one swift punch.
Mothers screamed and pulled their children towards them into corners and behind shelves. A few high schoolers dropped their novels and stared in shock. The librarian at the front desk seemed immobile, her fingers frozen in place above the keyboard of her computer.
Jenny advanced toward her, gun at the ready. “Backpack?” she said over her shoulder. Liz pulled off her backpack and tossed it to Jenny. Pistol still poised and threatening, Liz took out her cell phone and dialed.
Jenny aimed her gun at the librarian and threw the backpack onto the desk. “That stack of books behind you—the ones on reserve for ‘Evans.’ Would you mind putting them in this?” The librarian turned slowly and began deliberately following Jenny’s instructions. Keeping one eye on her and another on the rest of the people in the room, Jenny waited.
By the door, Liz’s call went through. “Yeah, Scott? This is Liz. Jenny and I are at the public library. Would you mind picking us up?” Pause. “Um, now would be nice—hold on—“
Liz covered the mouthpiece and waved her gun towards a bookshelf in the reference section. “You. Could you please put away your cell phone? No calls.” Liz turned to the others in the room. “No calls please!”
Jenny looked at Liz. “I’ll keep an eye on that one,” Liz said, jerking her head toward the reference section, where a middle-aged man was sheepishly returning a cell phone to his pocket. Jenny turned back to the librarian.
“Sorry, Scott,” Liz continued into her phone. “Yeah, the public library. We’ll meet you out front in a few minutes. Bye.” She hung up.
Jenny was zipping up the backpack when the two girls heard the distant noise.
They looked at one another in silence.
“Crap,” Jenny said. “Someone else must have called.”
“We better make it quick.” Glancing around, Liz added “Did you want anything else?”
The sirens grew louder.
“No time. Let’s go.”
Jenny threw the backpack over her shoulder and headed toward the door. Liz followed, walking backwards, pistol in hand until she was outside. Scott pulled up just as Jenny and Liz walked out of the building. Jenny opened the back door and climbed in while Liz kicked off the license plates.
“What are you doing?!” Scott yelled at her.
Liz jumped into the front seat and pulled off her ski mask. “Let’s go let’s go let’s go!”
“Robbing the library!” Jenny said.
The sirens grew louder, and the tires screamed as Scott sped toward Main Street.
By the time the police arrived, all they found were two California license plates, lying bent and dirty in the road.
Rexburg didn’t sleep that night. Until dawn, cars and on-foot policemen combed the city. Blocks were placed at all the exits from the city. Warnings were issued to each residential area, and student housing was searched complex by complex.
Had the authorities taken the time to look in a small basement apartment in the Scrivner home, they’d have interrupted two girls dressed in black, reading from a stack of books placed next to a backpack.
And had the police checked the garage of Dr. Crouch’s house, they would have found a young man inspecting the tires of a parked car, which was now missing license plates.
The investigation that began that winter night would last 23 years. The simplicity of The Great Madison County Book Heist stumped detective after detective. Within the weeks following the robbery, authorities expanded their search to be nationwide.
Inconclusive evidence shows that the library robbers may have been hidden by two families in Oregon, the Galbraiths of Medford and the McNeils of Beaverton. Questioning of the Eggberts in Ashton, Idaho had led authorities to believe that the criminals were also given food and supplies by this family.
Leading investigators believe that the infamous burglars have set up permanent residence in Calgary, Alberta or Tokyo, Japan, although there is also evidence that they attempted to open bookstores in both La Grande, Oregon and Hutch, Minnesota.
I personally have my own opinion as to where they ended up. What do I think, you ask? I’m afraid if I told you that, I’d have to kill you.
Monday, January 16, 2006
It occured to me after choosing the quote for the title of this blog that it sounds slightly patronizing. In no way do I mean to say "Yeah, the fact that your life sucks doesn't make you different from anyone else, and I'm better at being positive." That's not what I mean at all. I chose the quote because it was Oscar Wilde and because I read it to mean "When life sucks, you can wallow or look up." And personally, I need a reminder to look up right about now...my rose-colored glasses have become a bit smudged as of late.
Life is really not going fantastically for a lot of my friends at the moment, but all of a sudden I find that I'm one of them. Like suddenly, I'M one of the people who's life sucks right now. I'm not even sure anymore of how everything happened, or even of what happened in some cases. All I know is that I've cried more in the last 4 days than I ever have in my life. I still don't have a job for sure yet, I was NOT cast in the show, and just after my heart healed from the OTHER boy fiasco this year, it's back in the blender again. Shmer.
Okay, so I contemplated filling this entry with all of my woes, but after thinking about it, it occured to me that it won't do ANYONE any good. I've already written them in my journal, and I don't want to depress anyone, and anyone who I DO want to have aware of the stuff going on right now, already know. So instead, I think a little encouragement will be just what I and others need.
A little story...
I was on a walk last night (I've been going on a lot of those lately) and listening to some music and just thinking. **Random humorous insert: While walking last night, I got kind of up in the hills on the outskirts of Rexburg, and after a certain point, I sort of stopped paying attention to where I was going. After a little while, I noticed that I was walking in snow, and just thought to myself "Oh, I guess they didn't plow up here" and kept going. But then the snow kept getting deeper and deeper until I was sinking up to my knees. At that point, I looked up and discovered that I was in the middle of NOWHERE. There were no houses, no roads, no streetlights...just this vast frozen tundra. It was really clear and the moon's nearly full right now, so there was plenty of light, but it was still a little freaky. Luckily, I have a strong sense of direction--at least when it comes to east/west/north/south--so I just headed towards where I knew the city was and found my way back to the road. Apparently after I stopped paying attention to where I was going, I had just wandered into a potato feild and completely left the road. It was really confusing, but in a fun kind of a way. That was the adventure of the night.** Anyway, I was listening to my newest Aquabats CD (thanks, Sis, it's the best one ever), and the last song on it is called "Hello, Goodnight." Listening to it, I had a sort of realization or two. I won't explain all of that, but the point is that I know a lot of you are having a rough time right now. These lyrics kinda boosted me up, so I'll share them in hopes that they can do the same for you.
Here's something to think about
When things go wrong all the time
That luck can change like that high tide
Bad things can soon turn out alright
Misfortune, a tradgedy
I can't seem to mind
Soon good will happen
If you look you just might find
So when you think this is the end
Good things are just around the end
Again, bad things are just a sign
Good things will happen in due time
And with each passing day
So goes another life
Everybody wants to live
Some people want to die
So close your eyes
'cause it's alright to say
So if this is to be our time
Just think of what we left behind
Will they say good of you to last
Or lose the memory of you fast?
Forever and ever
A wonderful thing
Will someone be grateful
For what we tried to bring?
But just remember then
This day will never come again
Everybody wants to live
Some people want to die
So close your eyes
'cause it's alright to say
Hello, goodnight. . . . .
--The Aquabats, "Hello, Goodnight"
I love you all and you are in my prayers constantly. A hug or two is being sent from the frozen tundra of Rexburg. Actually, it's being sent from Liz, but Liz is in Rexburg, so I think you get the point. And the hug, too, I hope.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISHA VAN TOKKEN, MIGHTY KOMODO DRAGON WRESTLER OF THE WEST!
Hi, dear sister of mine. I apologize for not calling you on your birthday or anything, but it WAS Friday the 13th, and other circumstances beyond my control caused a great deal of catastrophe which prevented me from wishing you a happy birthday. Hence, the "sorry" birthday cake.
In order to honor and celebrate the great day of January the 13th, and your birthday, I've done a little research. Ever wonder what other important things happened on this day, besides your miraculous and and spectacular birth? Here are a few events that are priveleged to share the day of your birth. Check it out:
On January 13th, these historical events took place:
888 Duke Odo becomes King of West-France
888 Charles III The Fat One, King of Franconia/Roman Emperor dies
1330 Frederick II The Handsome, Duke of Austrian/German anti-king dies
1488 Herman Vischer the Old buried
1559 Elizabeth I is crowned Queen of England in Westminster Abbey
1625 Peter Bruegel the Older dies
1888 National Geographic Society formed in Washington D.C.
1910 First radio demonstration
1930 Mickey Mouse comic strip first appears
1966 U.S. President Johnson appoints first African-American cabinet member
1967 The Rolling Stones appear on the Ed Sullivan show
1977 Orlando Bloom is born
1987 Playwright Neil Simon marries actress Diane Lander
1988 Supreme Court rules (5-3) public officials have broad powers to censor
school newspapers, plays, and other expressive activities
1989 Annalicia Marie Whittaker, in a blaze of glory, is born into the world, and
the world has never been the same since
So there you are! Happy birthday, Isha--I hope it was a wonderful day! Did you know you share a birthday with our favorite actor, Orlando Bloom? Pretty special, I'd say.
Anyway, love you lots and miss you tons!
Oh, and happy Steven Foster Memorial day too. That's also on January 13th.
Thursday, January 5, 2006
Hello friends! Check out the sweet band I discovered. Meet the Parson Redheads. I went to high school with Evan and Bretty (the two redheads), and Brette and I roomed together a summer ago. I shot an e-mail to Evan the other day, just cause I haven't talked to the lad in forever and was thinking of him. When he wrote me back he told me that he and Brette and some others were living in L.A. and loving it there. They're part of a sweet Indie group called "The Parson Redheads," and just landed a small record deal. How exciting is that?! And they're all really talented. I put a new link up to their website. Go check it out, yo. (PS: Does anyone else see a little Ryan Wood in Captain Sexy Lower-Left-Hand corner up there?)
I don't have much else to say, actually. I just wanted to share with you my awesome musical talented friends. They're pretty swell, so I thought I'd do a little advertising for 'em. Rock on, Medfordites.
Speaking of talented musicians, the answer to the photo identification post on the last blog is DANNY ELFMAN. This is an old picture from the 80's, a little before he started doing film scores, while he was rocking in a ska band called "Oingo Boingo." Good gravy, that man is talented.
Oh, I put some new pictures up on my Bebo. You can check that out, too, if you want.
In other news, I fell in love last night, with a talented, intriguing and very attractive young man who will be forever 24 years old. And who died in a car crash 51 years ago. It's a shame. You're tearing me apart here, Jimmy...
Not many people know he wore glasses most of his life. I think he looks twice as handsome in them. Nerdiness is the purest form of sexy.
Monday, January 2, 2006
Behold, the joy of electrocution! One of the greatest discoveries of this christmas season is the game "Lightning Reaction Extreme." It was introduced to us by Steven (whose electrocution is featured in the picture above), and I can't decide if it was actually a good thing or not. I've been electrocuted a few too many times in the last week to reason clearly. The game is hard to find, but it's REALLY fun. Check it out.
It can be played by 4 people. Each person holds a metal handle thing. You press a button in the middle and it flashes a green light and makes all this crazy noise, but when the light turns RED, you have to press the button on your handle. If you're not the first one to press your button, you get shocked. As in with electricity. There are a couple ways of playing...you can play so that only the last person to press the button gets shocked, or so that everyone but the first person to press the button gets shocked. There are also 2 settings of shock level: low or high. It's only fun if its high. Ye-ah.
So I really have a lot more to say, but I only feel like saying...not much more. Because I'm really hungry. And because this house is so freakin' cold that my fingers are too frigid to type for much longer. But I would just like to say that I have unofficially adopted a whole handful of teenagers recently.
When I come here to visit my family, its kinda weird 'cause I've never lived here and don't have any friends here. But I hang out with my sisters, 'cause they're awesome. And I hang out with their friends, 'cause they're also awesome. Which means that I hang out with high schoolers.
I only graduated high school myself about 3 years ago, so I'm barely a non-teenager myself. But sitting in church yesterday and watching all these kids that I've gotten to know, I was just blown away by how amazing they are. I was overwhelmed by this intense older-sister-ly feeling...I feel very protective of these 15- and 16-year-olds, but in a "go and do your own thing" kind of a way. I don't know, it's like-- I haven't even known them that long, but I really care about them. I love them and want them to do what's right. And it hurts me to know that they've got to go through pain and the weirdness of growing up. But at the same time, I know that they'll learn from it, and that it's a necessary part of life. I only want them to have as much pain as is necessary, and no more. I'm so excited to teach high school one day. Teenagers are underestimated far too often, and are capable of so much more than they're given credit for, if you ask me. So to all you La Grandian high schoolers, you all rock my world! Do what's right and don't be stupid, and if you are, learn from it, and you are all amazing.
After all that shmoltz, here's a lighter subject to close with. This blog entry is concluding with a photo identification contest: Who is this man?
Hint: A genius.