"Oh crap, not hell again..." --Jen

This is Ben and Jesse being smarmy in their sexy outfits at Theatre Awards a few night ago. But with outfits like that, do they have any choice but to be smarmy?
So friends, I think this might be the last written, picture-featuring blog entry I'll post in a while. I'm going up to West Yellowstone in a few days for the summer, where the only internet access is in the public library, and heaven knows when I'll have time to make it over there. So we'll be doing audio-posts I'm thinking. But we'll see.
These last few days of the semester are so floppin' jam-packed with stuff to do and emotion and panic that I'm about to lose my mind. What little of it I ever had. I really should be sleeping, or perhaps eating some food (both to appease my hunger and to get rid of some food...less to pack), or cleaning, or packing. But I'm sitting here blogging and listening to my roomates talk and occasionally joining in.
There are several events that have transpired lately to bring me to the brink of emotional exhaustion...Kathleen leaving, Comic Frenzy's final shows of the year, Theatre Awards. Gee golly whittakers. All of this is putting me in this sort of grumpy funk...not much, just a constant underlying disgruntlement. I'm not really allowing myself to fully feel how sad I am to be moving away from friends and having to say good-bye, nor how excited I am to be moving away and starting this amazing adventure in West Yellowstone. So all of it gets bottled up inside of me and gets triggered by indirect things and comes out sideways. I find that if someone hangs up on me at work, I burst into tears right there at my desk. I really believe in fully feeling things, in taking every moment in, fully experiencing a good-bye. But it's tiring,and gets to a point of fullness that is impossibly difficult...it'll be a relief to be in West Yellowstone Saturday night, with hopefully everything else taken care of.
I wanted to include another picture from Theatre Awards...I went with Kathleen and Jen went with Jesse, and somehow all three of we girls ended up in black. A.K.A. in sexy.

I felt sort of like one of the wicked stepsisters in Cinderella when we left home for the Theatre Awards. One of our other roomates, Jenny, dressed us and did our hair and lent us her jewelry, and then sat on the couch in a T-shirt and gym shorts and waved good-bye. But it wasn't like that at all really, it only struck my fancy.
My mind is going in about 8 different directions right now, so forgive the helter-skelter character of this entry.
The most predominant thought in me head is the approaching summer. Just summer in general, really. I recommend the following things to fully experience and make the summer all the things that a summer should be:

Bonfires
Hiking
Watching good movies like "Lost in Translation" (Hey, you! Lip my stockings!)
Reading good books like "A High Wind in Jamaica" or "The Whistling Toilets"
Napping in a hammock
Going to Disneyland
Eating lemon cake
Frolicking in a rain or thunderstorm
B-B-Q-ing
Eating Otter-pops until you burst

Oh summer. You cannot come to soon. I eagerly await your balmy embrace, for you to enfold me in your golden arms of warmth and splendor!

I'm starting to speak in bad poetry. Time for bed.

And by the way, if you thought Ben and Jesse are sexy now, just wait 40 years or so....

"To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am." --Bernard Baruch

For the record, and at the risk of revealing my ignorance, I have no idea who Bernard Baruch is. But I like what he said about age.
And it's totally true. Remember when it was only adults--older people--who were married, had babies, graduated from college, had not just jobs--but careers? I still have trouble remembering that I'm on the brink of that age group. I have friends who are married, having babies, graduating from college, and beginning careers. Somehow its still make-believe to me...like a very elaborate game of playing house. I wonder if it will ever change for me? If I'll feel like this until I'm 80 and then all of a sudden realize that I've been an adult for decades? Hm. Food for thought at least.
Life is going well, and busily. The semester is almost over, Jared gets released from his mission tomorrow (wiggidy whack weird!), and once again, the speed with which time flies terrifies me. The last couple of weeks of the semester are packed with 2 jobs, multiple assignments from various committees, packing, and trying to postpone thinking about the fact that this is probably the last semester I'll ever be living with my current roomates. I'd talk about that here, but we've made this unspoken pact in our apartment to not talk about it until we absolutely can't deny it anymore. And then we'll explode with sadness and tears and promises and confessions. But until then, it can just wait.
Hey, 22 days until Playmill. We visited the theatre this past weekend. David Walker, one of the actors/directors of Playmill is currently in the touring company of 42nd Street, and invited this summer's Playmill cast to come see the show in Billings, Montana. They paid for the tickets and the hotel, so this weekend, we all carpooled and went on a fun roadtrip to see the show. It was incredible, by the way. On the way home, we stopped in West Yellowstone to get some measurements of the stage and take inventory of merchandise. It made me even more excited for this summer. Although West Yellowstone right now looks the way Rexburg did in January...snowbanks up to the tops of cars. They say it'll be like that until the end of May. Which makes me want to cry. But it'll be worth it.
I got distracted...I was going to mention that it was a ton of fun to go on this trip with the Playmill cast. We all got to know eachother better and got to be better friends. I especially enjoyed getting to know the few people I didn't know that well before. Catherine, way cool and a good friend in the making; and Curtis, who is a ton of fun and became my favorite person on this trip. Not just "my favorite person who went on this trip," but "my favorite person ever." Of course, there are several people in my life who hold that title, but that's just me and my casual use of language.
Okay, I think I'm back on track now. And now that I am, I can't think of much more to say. It snowed yesterday, which made a lot of us really angry, but its gradually warming up again as the week progresses.
In closing, Travis Gugelman, a local photographer, and also the one who does all the publicity shots for Playmill, has a little shop in Rexburg. He had a photo up in his window for a few weeks, and I just found it on the internet. And I want it to happen to me on day. What a great picture, huh?

Love you all!

"If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants." --Albert Einstein

A thousand curses upon my keyboard. I kind of apologize for the kind of boring picture, but I thought it added a nice sense of irony. Because I HATE my Mac right now. Not on the basis of it being a Mac, of course, but just because the keyboard and mouse have gotten to the point of only working approximately 2% of the time. Dad, I'm selling this machine. For as much as I can get for the evil thing. And then, after my several year haitus from college, I'll buy myself a new iBook and it will solve all of the world's problems.
Gee, this is sort of a grumpy post. I think I'm sick of estrogen. Not necessarily of my own, but just of being surrounded by it. Okay, maybe I take that back. I'm sitting around with my roomates and talking and I just looked over at Jenny, who was laying on her bed with two glue-gun sticks in her nose. Which looks amazing. As Jen added, too bad your nose can't get really hot.
Important update: I'm now single again. And it's okay. It was by my doing. I had an awful half-a-week debating and praying and trying to figure out what to do, and feeling terrible because I've NEVER had to break up with someone before. As in, like, dump them. But it was okay, he took it well, though not indifferently, and we parted having learned a thing or two, with a mutual agreement to avoid awkwardness and continue friendship. But I'm feeling a lot happier and less stressed and confused than I was before.
We had a last shindig of the year at Cindy's tonight. It was so great to spend time with everyone and laugh and banter and play. A lot of those kids are graduating soon, and I'll miss them like crazy. We, according to tradition, played "I've Never," and no matter how many times we play that game, we still learn something new about someone(s) every time. What a joy. I'm really excited about Playmill this summer. I love all those people so much. There was a really fun conversation toward the beginning of the night, a reminiscing of the greatest moments in Comic Frenzy history...what hilarious people I'm friends with. I feel so blessed. And I love Cindy. What a great Mom.
I've been feeling pretty blessed in general lately. I'm quite poor, but working hard, enjoying the things that I'm doing and looking forward to things I plan on doing in the future. I'm surrounded by wonderful people. I'm also really tired. Love you all, and I think this is it for today.

What the changes?!

I've decided after a year and a half to make a few changes to my blog. I like redefining everything every now and then. That, and I've got insomnia, and there's nothing worse for a slight identity crisis than insomnia. Perhaps I'll regret all this in the morning. Oh wait, it already is morning. About 3 o'clock in the, to be exact. Thanks to Jenalee Daines for the new title. She said that when we were about 5 years old, and its been in the family ever since.
Sorry to make you mentally or html-ly change the name of my blog. Or both.
You'll thank me for it in the end.
Love from an insomniac in Rexburg.