Monday, August 20, 2018

Writer's Block

I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about maybe Fringe Festival last weekend because there were a lot of awesome things I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about maybe I could write about caveman brains or how I lack integrity as a consumer I don't know what to write about because I’ve had those two blog entries in mind for like literally years now I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about but the thing is that I’m really tired I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about and really busy I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about and I know that’s actually not a very good excuse because sometimes you have to MAKE TIME for the things that are important to you but I have so many things that are important to me and there are only so many hours in a day I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about maybe the magic of theatre somehow I don't know what to write about but whenever I try to do that I feel like words fall short of what I’m trying to express I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about maybe one of these days I’ll write about how I came to have a phobia of raccoons I don't know what to write about or how I might be allergic to koalas but don’t really have a way to test that hypothesis all I know is that I had one of the worst allergy attacks of my entire life at an open air koala exhibit at a zoo once I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about and the ridiculous thing is that I have like four books worth of writing prompts I don't know what to write about plus that awesome plot generator website thing I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about so like really there are like a ton of things I could write about I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about but if we’re being honest and getting right down to it the real issue is that I don’t know what to write about that will only take me like forty minutes to write about because I’m on a deadline here I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about and every now and then I sort of feel like writing isn’t the medium best suited to the things I want to say or talk about I don't know what to write about you know like sometimes I’d rather paint my thoughts or whatever I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about oh maybe I should do another documentary recommendation blog post I don’t think I’ve done one of those in years I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about but I’ve really been enjoying the Netflix series “Geniuses of the Ancient World” and “Geniuses of the Modern World” so if you need something to play in the background while you fold your laundry and you dig history I recommend those I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about I don't know what to write about on a completely unrelated note I learned today that a friend’s dad is named Adolf and I don’t know why the hell you would name your kid Adolf in 1962 and there really isn’t much more to this story but I’ve been thinking about it all night but there isn’t anything else to write about that so the point is that I don't know what to write about.

photo via

Monday, August 6, 2018

Dear Diary: A Toddler's Life

I found this project I had started years ago, when my nephew Benjamin was just 2 years old. It was inspired by a nursery school teacher who had kept a similar "diary" on my behalf when I was that age. Benjamin just turned five about a month ago, and I'm feeling deeply nostalgic. It was fun to re-visit this two-year-old Benjamin and re-work this piece.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Aunt Liz has been asking me about my dreams lately, but I haven’t given her a straight answer until today. She explained that “sometimes we imagine things while we sleep, and those are called dreams.” After that explanation, I replied, “Oh yeah! ChuckWagon! Mommy more pay-dohs. Daddy don’t bite it.”

"Chuckwagon" is what I call the Chuck-A-Rama restaurant, because of the wagon in the logo. That restaurant a big deal in my mind. (So is Play-dough.)

No one knows where I got this, but I keep using the word “forty-eight.” Today after my nap, I sat up and looked at the bookshelves and said, “Whoa lots books. Forty-eight books.” I use this number to describe things all the time.

My favorite things at Liz and Jacob’s house continue to be the “duggle balls” (juggle balls) and the “cale” (scale) in the bathroom. I also love dancing to the Ting Tings, watching “Danel Tiger” on the iPad, pressing the doorbell button, and singing to Frozen in the car. Today, I discovered that I can slide around in the kitchen on my stomach, but Liz won’t let me—she says it’s too dirty. Maybe she should clean it more so I can slide.

Also today, Aunt Liz was pulling a sticker off a pear and I saw it and wanted it. But she had already thrown it away by the time I asked for it. She told me she was sorry and that she threw it away. So I stood in front of the garbage can and quietly said, “Sticker? Where are you?” I don’t know why Aunt Liz hugged me so hard and smiled so big after I did that.


Wednesday, November 11, 2015

I was sooooo sleepy all day today. But Aunt Liz and I had some fun running errands. We went to Walmart, where I held the little mirror she was buying for a long time, and that was fun. Then we went to the pet store, just because it was close by. There were so many fun things there! Fishies, kitties, birdies, and I even got to pet a puppy. I wanted to hold every animal, and open all the cages. But Liz told me they had to stay there in their homes. My other favorite things were the bags of rocks for fish tanks. I love rocks.

Then we went to the Dollar Store and played with toys for a long time. I found a cool microphone toy and made Aunt Liz sing into it, and then I looked for everything remotely shaped like a microphone and made her sing into them too—fake lightsabers, nunchucks, bubble wands.

The only sad thing is that grown-ups never let me take things from stores! I just want to hold everything and take everything home, but they never let me. Someday I’ll figure out why.

I do know some things, though. While we were at the store, Liz said, “I wonder what time it is?” And I replied, “Forty-eight!”

At lunch today, Aunt Liz gave me some special Jewish bread called “challah,” but that’s too hard for me to say, so I just call it “Lala bread.”

I’m still obsessed with listening to Frozen whenever we get into the car. My favorite parts are the very beginning of “The First Time In Forever”—the music is so exciting! It always makes me grin and dance when it starts. And I also love the end of “In Summer,” and I sing it reeeeeeealllly loudly. Liz always smiles so big when I do that.


Monday, November 15, 2015

I spent the WHOLE WEEKEND with Liz and Jacob and Grandma and Grandpa and Dave and Camilla and Anna and Laura. I saw Anna in a show called “Mary Poppins,” and even though it went waaaaay past my bedtime, I loved it. When we were leaving the theatre, I told Liz, “Saw Anna! We did it! Really really fun.” Then I saw someone that I thought was Anna, so I called out her name. Liz explained that it wasn’t Anna, but that she did kind of look like Anna. I said, “Kind of Anna. Friend!” and reached out to the person for a hug. I’m quick to make friends.

I played with Lucy and family all weekend, and it was fun. Grandma even gave me a haircut and I stayed still the whole time. I slept for most of the drives, but the last hour to Salt Lake City made me INSANE. I just sat and made crazy faces and crazy noises for at least half an hour. I was going nuts being strapped in the car seat, so Jacob ran around with me in the grass at a rest stop. It was FREEZING, and my little nose was red with cold, but I just wanted to run around, and I was pretty upset when we had to get back into the car.

I went to nursery in Grandma and Grandpa’s ward, and I was a little nervous to be in a new nursery, but then there were bubbles, and it was okay. And I made a shaker with two paper plates! I was very proud of it.


Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Today, I told Liz several very detailed stories during lunch.

STORY #1: “Go see lots books! Libary! And see see see? Winnie Pooh. And Eeeeeeeyore. And libary stay really quiet. Stay stay right by me. We did it!”

STORY #2: “Don’t ride it the frog. Scary frog at the zoo! Really really fun. See muggies [monkeys] throw bread up there! See lions. Eflants [elephants] water. Muggies stand in trees! Scary muggies.”

STORY #3: “Play outside, too shiny. Oh no, fall down. Hurt leg, go doctor. Benjamin hurt leg, Daniel Tiger hurt leg. Get sticker.”

The last story was probably inspired by the episode of Daniel Tiger I watched, where Daniel Tiger gets hurt and goes to the doctor for a bandage.

Also during lunch, I pretended to sneeze some apples into my hand. Then I looked at them and said, “Oh no! Apples fall down!” Then I dropped the apples on the tray, and said, “Try again, apples!” I did this a few times.

I’m starting to put longer and longer sentences together, and I’m starting to understand more about grammar. Today, instead of saying “Craisins good,” I said, “Craisins are good.” I also identified the fridge and told Liz that there was a second fridge. She explained that the top one is called a freezer. A few minutes later, I pointed over and said, “That’s a fridge. And that’s a freezer. At Liz house!”

I get kind of crazy when I’m sleepy, and sometimes it takes some persuading to get me to take a nap. But sleep always wins. One day I’ll stay awake! I will!


Wednesday, December 2, 2015

I went with Liz to get an oil change for the van today, and spent a long time in the waiting room. It was pretty fun. There was a baby in there, and paper to throw around, and vending machine buttons to push. I kept asking Liz if we could watch “Daniel Tiger” on the vending machine, but she said no. Also, Liz said we would go to the library today, but we never did! I reminded her about it in the afternoon, but she said we didn’t have time. Maybe next week. Because, as I told Liz today, “I really love books.”

I still have a cough, so my nap was a little rough. But when I woke up, Liz said, “Hi Benjamin.” I looked at her blankly for a full ten seconds, and then said, with no expression at all, “Muggies.” Liz raised her eyebrows and asked if I dreamed about monkeys, and with excitement, I said, “Yeah! And Benjamin go Chuck Wagon really really soon!”

As a two-year-old, the most influential experiences of my life have been seeing monkeys at the zoo, and eating at Chuck-A-Rama, so it makes sense that I would dream about those things.


Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Today, Liz and I took the train to Gateway shopping center. I saw Olaf in a window, which I was very excited about, and also watched a splash pad/fountain show. I kept telling Liz I wanted to play in the water, but she said it was too cold. When I heard the announcement for the musical fountain show, I looked up at the speakers and said, “Oh! That’s conference!”

After my nap today, I told Liz that I dreamed about “Mary Poppins! See Anna on stage!” And Chuckwagon. As usual.

I’m way more independent than people think I am. Today, Liz noticed I had a little hangnail. She tried to just pull it off, but couldn’t get it, so she said, “I’ll get the clippers.” As she walked to the bathroom, I belligerently called out, “No! I can do it!” A few seconds later, I walked into the bathroom and handed Liz the hangnail I had just taken care of myself.

Also, I have no idea what colors are. At age two, I can count to ten accurately and consistently. I can point out circles and triangles by name. Today, I correctly identified the letter E. But any time Liz tries to talk about colors, I have no idea what she’s talking about. “That’s a blue pillow!” I’ll say. She’ll say, “Actually, that’s orange. The blanket is blue.” And I’ll smile and say, “That’s greeeeeeeen!” So I know the names of colors, but not what they mean. But how am I supposed to know? There’s no shape to them! No one knows how to sufficiently explain what green or blue or orange is. Ugh. Babyhood.


December 16, 2015

I had a pretty uneventful day with Liz. We did go to IKEA, but it wasn’t super fun because she wouldn’t let me get out of the cart. When she said we were leaving, I said goodbye to everything I saw as we walked past it. (“Bye, boxes! Bye, other more boxes! Bye, so many clocks! Bye, lights!”) After a while, I didn’t know the names of things, so I just resorted to “Bye, stuff! Bye, other stuff!”

For the last couple of weeks, I’ve kept two toys in the car: a little flashlight and a little stuffed sheep. I always talk about them when we get into the car, and request them if they’re not immediately available. I also always say good-bye to them when I get out of the car. Today, when Liz woke me up from my nap in the car seat, I found the little sheep right away and exclaimed, “Oh, seep [sheep]! So sweet, seep. Like a little lamb! Snuggle up little seep.” Then I cuddled up the little sheep to my face and Liz almost died of my cuteness.

My outfit was so cute today: little blue jeans and a plaid button up shirt. I was like a little lumberjack! And when I sat on the couch to watch Daniel Tiger, I crossed my little legs like a grown up and Liz almost died of my cuteness again.

Also, Liz ate like, HALF of MY cheddar bunnies this afternoon, like a responsible adult. But I still snuggled up with her anyway. I’ve got a big heart like that.