"Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman around the corner..."

Here is a children's book from 1974, with a few minor adjustments to the text. Enjoy.

For those about to believe in a thing called love, we salute you.

One fateful Monday afternoon (namely yesterday), I was attempting to recover from a severe lack of sleep. So I set aside my to-do list, and laid down to take a nap. During this nap, I had a dream. Nay, nay, a vision. Here I attempt to record the awesomeness of said vision, although I assure you all that mere words can hardly do justice to the sheer magnitude of greatness that this dream truly was.

Perhaps it was inspired by the fact that I've been watching CHEESY music videos lately. But I dreamt that I, with a select few friends, was a part of a TUBULAR music video. As I attempt to chronicle this dream, I sure hope I remember everything, because its already fading, but I'll do the best I can to be both true to the dream and also tell it so that it makes sense.

In my dream, I was sitting in "The Seduction Room" with my friends Carrie and Nathan. "The Seduction Room" is a real place-- its what Carrie's living room is called. So we were sitting in the living room, with the lights low, listening to classic rock and discussing what category of rock each of the songs went into...glam, punk, etc. We were just beginning to discuss the British glam rock band, The Darkness, when a knock comes on the door. We yell "Come in!" and into the room walks Justin Hawkins, the above-mentioned band's lead singer.



He's dressed in one of the glittery jumpsuits he's famous for, and is as greasy and ridiculously smarmy to us in real life as he is in his band. But we invited him in, and we all chat it up for a while. Then he told us he had come because we had been chosen by the "Gods of the Destiny of Rock" or something equally silly/awesome. We had been selected by the fates to be the starring performers in an historical music video...a music video that would bring together some of the greatest names in classic rock history. Which in reality was only two names in rock history, specifically Justin Hawkins and Brian Johnson.



Yes, the lead singers of The Darkness and AC/DC were bringing their bands together for one historical medley of "I Believe in A Thing Called Love" and "Back In Black." I don't have any recollection of how that musically worked. All I remember is that is was life-alteringly, mind-blowingly, ozone-layer-shatteringly AWESOME. We got on set, which consisted of several locations in one studio, namely a spaceship, Scotland, and that white room from Willy Wonka's chocolate factory...the one with the TV thing. Milli Vanilli came and coached Carrie and Nathan and I on how to lip sync, which doesn't make sense now that I think about it, because Brian's and Justin's were the only voices being used, but apparently we were supposed to look like we were singing with their voices too.

I most vividly remember filming the part of the music video that took place in the white room. The only ones in the shot were Nathan and Carrie and I, and we were all dressed in black with white belts and shoes. We were wearing sunglasses, and Nathan was standing in the middle and singing seductively to the camera, while Carrie and I danced very seriously and unsmilingly on either side of him. There was also this part where we were fighting off something--I don't remember what--with the lightning that came from our instruments, reminiscent of the "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" music video.

I don't remember much more of the music video, except for thinking it was way cool to share the stage with both AC/DC and The Darkness. Just giving you the facts simply can't communicate the feeling of adrenaline and power that came with this event in my dream life. I wish there was some way for Nathan and Carrie to have experienced it with me, because they were there. I guess this blog will have to be enough. Nathan and Carrie, you were part of a great thing yesterday afternoon, and I'm sorry you could only experience it vicariously. Because it ROCKED.

"Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam, be it ever so humble, there's no place like home." --John Howard Payne

Thought I'd take this opportunity to give you all a little virtual tour of my new apartment! Photos are courtesy of my cell phone, so they're not the best quality, but neither is the apartment, so it evens out. I'm still missing some furniture...we have yet to pick up the couch(es) and kitchen table and chairs that a friend is loaning me. But other than that, I'm all settled in. Its really great to have my own space, although I'm learning that my sense of transience has less to do with where I'm sleeping than I thought. The above picture is the house, now divided into four units. Sufficiently terrifying, no? =) I especially like the foreboding clouds in the background of this picture. It looks like it should be haunted, but so far, its not. At least not my section. You can see why its being torn down in a few months. (Also note, they're already starting construction on the apartments that will be built in this spot. They're filling the whole block behind the house with apartments, and during my one day off every week, I usually wake up to the sound of tractors and jack hammers.) I live in #4, a basement apartment, which entrance is on the far left of this picture. Here's a close-up of the entrance:



Here's part of the living room, the view to the left when you walk in the front door. I'm really pleased with the lights and garland, although you can't see the effect very well in this picture. The craft store was having a 50% sale on fake plants and Christmas lights, and I decided that ambience was a good investment.



Here's the other half of the living room. A little bare without furniture at the moment, but the movie star collection and lights look nice here too. This was taken from the bedroom door, so that's the front door on the right.



Here's the kitchen. The kitchen door is right across the living room from the front door. For the record, I don't think anyone realizes how much they use a microwave until they no longer have one.



Here's the other half of the kitchen. Its not very interesting, except for the fact that it looks like my fridge doesn't have doors. The "handles" are actually just indents in the sides of the doors. I'm still not used to it, and find myself grabbing at nothing more often than not.



You may have noticed this in the previous two pictures, but the flooring in the kitchen is pretty spectacular. I had to give you all a better look, because this is actually one of my favorite parts of the apartment. When I first saw it, I thought "Ew. What fantastically ugly linoleum." Then I stepped onto it and realized that its NOT linoleum, but rather really short carpet, patterned to LOOK like linoleum! Really impractical for a kitchen, but so quirky that its endearing. I think its hilarious.



Here's the bedroom, as seen from the living room. You can already see how small it is, but since its just me, I find it just right.



Here's a better one to illustrate how small the bedroom is. My queen-size mattress (which I bought second-hand for $40, by the way) takes up ALMOST the entire room. It's kind of fun having it on the floor. And I like having a big bed.



Oddly enough, the bathroom is one of the biggest rooms in the apartment relative to its purpose. For the record, although you can't see it, I have a RAD, tacky, jungle-themed shower curtain. And that white square thing on the left? That's my WASHING MACHINE. Although I don't have a dryer. But the previous renters were kind enough to leave behind a package of clothespins.



So that's my new home! I enjoy living by myself, although I'm finding it puts me in an odd social place. I'm so used to having to work for my alone-time. But now that I have that anytime I want, I'm finding that it takes a lot more effort to work for social time. You don't have an automatic social world set up for you by roomates...you actually have to go out and visit people and call them and stuff.

I think that's part of my current sense of lacking any feeling of belonging anywhere. When you're with roomates, you don't think to call the friends that aren't with you at that moment to go on adventures. So between that phenomenon and going to bed at 10pm because of work, I find myself missing out on a lot. Which is LAME.

But to close this entry on a lighter note, especially when it comes to my social life, I've made a handful of new friends this semester that I'm really enjoying hanging out with. My good good friend Carrie recently got back from her mission and is back at school here in Rexburg. Through hanging out with her, I've befriended a Mandy, a Dusty, a Scott, a Ryan, a Nathan, and a handful of others whose company I really enjoy. I'm still kind of shy around them, just because I still feel like I haven't gotten to know them well enough to COMPLETELY open up, but when I do in little ways, I feel comfortable and appreciated. It takes me a good long while to really get comfortable enough with people to not have ANY sense of self-doubt (or even awareness), but I feel like I could get there with this group. Even though the other thing is that I can tell that they're all a lot wealthier than me, and although I HATE that something like that makes a difference, it does to me...I'm intimidated and uncomfortable with people who are richer than I am. Which is a lot of people, but only sometimes am I keenly aware of it. But I like that everyone I've met in that little group appreciates my sense of humor, and that I appreciate theirs. I also have similar interests with them that I don't share with some of my other friends...like having dance parties and going hiking! I look forward to continuing to get to know them and spending more time with them.

I'm very grateful for the wonderful friends I've been blessed with, and between social adventures, work, and moving in, I feel like the summer is starting to fall into a routine. I need a second job as soon as "Faustus" closes, or a different job, but in the meantime, here's to new apartments, new friends, and new seasons!

Some more poetry

For

This is for Alanis Morissette.
This is for the hug that Jesse gave me today
and the message Kathleen left.

This is for Annie,
who shares her room
and her love of Star Trek
and books and art and England.

This is for Hugh Laurie and
Catherine Tate
and Jordan Tait
and a book of Robert Frost’s poetry.

This is for Carrie
and for the sheer curtains that hang
in her living room.

This is for the way that Evan
glowed when he stood in front of
South Medford High School’s Concert Choir.
For not always being seventeen.

This is for 82 degrees of sunshine.
And for Nathan twirling his coat over his head
when he danced.
For his laughter.

This is for changes.
For new faces and new walls.
For taking things out of boxes.

This is for darkness
and being terrified
and for not getting enough sleep
and for Oma and Opa
and the lives of their children.

This is for the men that have jumped from windows
For the women who have
taken a sip for every blow.
For my stepmother and the
seven children
buried before they took their first breaths.

This is for 1000 milligrams
of naproxen sodium.
For my sisters’ voices
and for double chocolate brownies.

This is for Daddy and the desperate
people of Bolivia.
For Loyal Mont Whittaker
and the uniform he was buried in.

For my great grandmother,
and the trees she pulled down to
keep her children warm.

"Your spontaneity should be illegal..."

Quick update: Turns out I can move in to my new place a few days sooner than I thought! As in the end of this week! And also, Annie cleared off her extra bed in her room, so I don't have to sleep in the living room anymore. Things are going a little better.

I've gone through and done a little re-vamp of the ole blog-aroo-- added a few links, changed up the colors, utilized the "labels" thing. In so doing, I came across a few old entries that had some excerpts from the quotebook. I haven't done that in a while, so for your blog-perusing pleasure, here are a few gems from the past several months or so!

EVERYONE: "Jenny, open your mouth! How big is it?"
JENNY: "Hold on, I have to clean, it's...messy."
LIZ: "What, you have to 'tidy'?"
SARAH: "She wasn't expecting...company."
(This is also how we came up with the euphemism "I had company" to mean making out.)

"I shall take the wax of mine ear and stick thine eyelids to my foot!" --JESSE, improvised Elizabethan insult in "Faustus" rehearsal

"A backpack at the Statue of Liberty is like a pork chop at a bar mitzveh." --BECKAH

"He didn't fool me for a minute! Actually his big brown eyes did a little but now they're full of brown crap! And its smelly!" --ANONYMOUS GIRL

"That is such a cute outfit! You look like a cute...pregnant...sailor...summer." --ANNIE

"What is these tubes!?" --BECKAH
(This has come to be universally used to mean "What is that/this?")

"Oh, these shoes are soft. I feel like I'm walking on piles of baby ducks." --JORDAN, Comic Frenzy show

"My human anatomy class is going to kill me! I went to '27 Dresses' earlier this week and all I could think was how Katherine Heigl's collar-bone is really pretty, but I couldn't remember the landmarks on the clavicle for the life of me!" --TAYLOR

"Jesse, your face looks like wrapping paper after Christmas morning." --ANNIE

"I deprived you of the moral of the alarm clock story and that is being polite EFFING sucks because you miss classes for it. So next time you see an elderly man or woman in the store, give them the finger cuz, hey, you can't afford not to." --NATHAN

"A meatball is pretty much anyone who's not worth their weight in ground carcass." --JESSE

"I can never sleep. That's where I solve all my problems--in bed. In more ways than one. (smile) Its so great to be married." --ADAM

"There are no butterflies in Africa. There's only AIDS." --ANNIE

JENNY: "HOT FUDGE SUNDAES TOMORROW!!!!"
SHANELLE: "You're loud and obnoxious."

"I wish I was a fish! Fish don't have back problems!" --AMANDA

"I'm lost in the forest of woe!" --BECKAH

"See, this is why we do activities like this on Fridays. If you do this on a Monday, you won't get the flowery punchbowl of naturalism." --BRO. ALLEN

JESSE: "Why can't you sit cross-legged? Do you have a lack of butt?"
JOHN: "No, I'm just Anglo-Saxon."

"Make-outs are like bacon. Tastes so good, but not necessarily good for you. And occasionally leaves you with heartburn." --MARY AND LIZ

"I have taken a dance class here, and I have seen things you can't find on the internet." --DAVEY

"If ever there's a war that involves throwing Swedish fish, don't enlist me." --STEVEN

"Why would anyone be a Congressman if they could FLY?" --ANNIE

"Have you ever put soap in a microwave? It expands! It expands like a tumorous cloud!" --NATHAN

"Wouldn't it be great if, instead of stinging you, bees rescued you from quicksand?" --ANONYMOUS LITTLE GIRL

I hope you are all merrily diverted!

Day #27: In which I find myself in a perilous situation

I have been sleeping on a couch and living out of a suitcase for 27 days. I will be doing so for 12 days more. It wouldn't be so bad if I was on the road or something. But for all 27 days, I've been living in houses where other people are settled in--the toothbrushes are in cups on the counters, and the movies are on the shelves in the living room.

And my stuff is in boxes in the Thorsons' garage.

GAARFGH;SKJDF;LKDJGHLSKDKDGAAAAAAAARGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

(That was my scream of trapped angst. Both angst that was trapped and is now released, and the angst that comes from the state of being trapped.)

Hell hath no insanity like that of a woman who's homeless.