Today's entry: an Ode to Geekdom!
I've been thinking a lot today about how grateful I am that my roomates and I have discovered one another's geekiness. I think I'm the biggest geek of them all...I'm a Trekkie, a fantasy book reader, and I've checked out books from the library with titles like "A Brief History of Time" and "Darwin on the Expression of Emotion in Humans and Animals" for my own entertainment. I've played "Dungeons and Dragons." I've played "Zelda" on N64 for more than 3 hours straight. I've left the house at 11:30pm to rent a Star Trek episode. I've learned some html language. I've learned some Tolkien Elvish. I've learned some japanimation. But, much to my joy, I have discovered that 2 of my roomates share this nerdiness!!! Ella and Annie and I sit around and quote "Star Trek" at least 3 times a day. Or tonite all three of us were sitting in the living room READING. And every now and then looking up and quoting Star Trek. (Sorry, Ella and Annie, your secrets are now exposed on the world wide web.)
Okay everyone, so here's the test. Are you a big nerd or not? If you can answer more than half of the following questions correctly, you are officially ONE OF US and must give in and allow yourself to surrender into the Jaws of Geekdom. It's not that bad, actually, I embrace my nerdiness myself.
Rules: You cannot use any outside resources to answer these questions. You must possess the knowledge yourself and immediately in order to fully be considered nerdy. Good luck, kids.
#1) Who wrote "A Brief History of Time"?
#2) "Then you stand here today because of a mistake...made by your flawed, feeling, human friends." Name the movie that features that line.
#3) What is the name of the hero in "Zelda"?
#4) Name the Star Trek character who said (hint: or sung) this line: "Oh little life forms...oh you pretty little life forms...where are you?"
#5) What language did Tolkien use as a foundation for the Elvish language he created in "Lord of the Rings"?
#6) What is the main character's name in the SEQUEL to "Ender's Game"?
#7) Who wrote the series "Dealing With Dragons"?
#8) The author of "Dealing With Dragons" is friends with a few other fantasy authors. Name 2 of them. (Hint: one of them wrote "Briar Rose.")
#9) What is the philosophical idea involving religion known generally as "Pascal's Great Wager"?
#10) What is the person called who "runs" the game "Dungeons and Dragons"?
Okay, there you go. Answers will be posted on the next blog!!!
Tuesday, June 7, 2005
Saturday, June 4, 2005
"Time is an illusion. Lunch-time doubly so." --Ford Prefect, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
At last, the bloginator lives again! I have found a temporary, but reliable source of internet-ness, and so I come to bring you news and diverting anecdotes!
Item of news: I am no longer going crazy. (See last blog). I did however, in the process of becoming un-crazy, have a life-changing realization. It was like lightning at the time, but once I tried to explain it out loud, in words, it occured to me that it was something that I should have had figured out long ago. My revelation came word-for-word as this thought: "You can get to know him before you make that decision of whether or not you should marry him." Just ponder on that. It blew my mind when I realized the eternal significance of that statement.
Another bit, I have recently become a part of the cult following of that great work of literary genius "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." (Hence the quote.) Genius. Pure genius. A little existentialist maybe, but it goes against the nature of existentialism to disregard it because its existentialist.
(Now that I read that sentence over again, it sounds lovely, but I'm not sure if I successfully communicated what I was thinking. I'm not even sure if it was that intelligent of a thought to begin with. Ah, well.)
So, I recently discovered that there is a word in my lexicon that I overuse. The problem is that I have very little control over when and how often I use this word. The word is "ouch." Being so interested in dance, I liked to think that I was a fairly coordinated person. However, working a job with plenty of physical movement has forced me to reexamine my clumsiness level. As I am sitting here, nursing a bruised Achilles tendon (which is actually healing quite well), an infected 3-inch wide, 2-degree burn on that same leg, which burn I got from the muffler of a motorcycle, and a recently minorly sprained ankle on the other foot, I'm beginning to question to wisdom of working in the warehouse at Walmart. Where I throw freight all day. The awful part is that I was just starting to develop some decent arms--do you hear that, ACTUAL ARM MUSCLES--and it'd be a pity to stop that process now. Not to mention the fact that in spite of it being a JOB, I actually kind of enjoy work. The problem now is...how do you limp with BOTH feet? Is that actually possible? I'll just be walking with a slight C3PO attitude, which although inconvenient, is pretty cool.
Last item of business, books! Now wait, I lied, there's one more thing I want to mention before I end this blog. But first I'll mention books.
I am absolutely adoring the freedom of summer reading! However, the reading lists at the library only tell you so much, so I'm sort of trying to start a personal reading list of my own, comprised of books that as a lover of books, you simply HAVE to read, and of books that others have recommended to me. So, I humbly make a request of all the readers of this blog. What book recommendations do YOU have? Here, I'll make a few to all of you, so I can return the favor hopefully. Or so that you all owe me one, depending on how you look at it. Anyway...
"Little Little" by M.E. Kerr
About dwarfs and what it's like to live in a world where everything's set up for other, TALLER people. Also about romance, and families, and prejudice, and getting thru hard times.
"Go and Come Back" by Joan Abelove
A story about 2 white women who live for a time in a Peruvian village, and about the lives of the Peruvian indians and how each groups beliefs affect and change the lives of the other.
"The Whistling Toilets" by Randy Powell
A great coming-of-age, falling-in-love-with-the-girl-next-door kind of story, involving tennis, theft, summer camps, and this really weird girl in a red sporty car who knows Clint Eastwood.
"No More Dead Dogs" by Gordon Korman
The story of an 8th-grade jock turning drama geek! Power to ya, Wallace Wallace. About a boy who never tells a lie, a girl who writes letter to Julia Roberts, a long-haired blonde and very jealous football star, and also a girl with a little more lipgloss than intelligence.
"Briar Rose" by Jane Yolen
A brilliant and fascinating story of a girl who's on a journey to uncover her past, which past intricately entertwines the Holocause with the fairy tale "Sleeping Beauty."
There are a bunch of others...classics like "Ella Enchanted," "Dealing with Dragons," "Ender's Game," and the "Princess Bride," but since those are a little more commonly known, I'll limit my list to the above...listed.
Now it's your turn! On the comments board, please tell me the titles of any books you loved or that you think I'd like, along with a word or two about the plot or something. Thank you all, and if you happen to read any of the books I listed, I hope you enjoy them!
Very last item of business, and I'll keep this brief. I want to be a better person. I've become really cynical over the last year or so, but part of that cynicism come is the form of being judgemental. I want to be better than that. I want to be more forgiving and loving and accepting. I want people to feel comfortable around me, and to feel like I love and appreciate them for who they are. SO, with that in mind, I want to let all of you know that I love you! You're all such good influences in my life, and it's YOUR love and friendship that inspire me to be better. Thank you for being wonderful!
Item of news: I am no longer going crazy. (See last blog). I did however, in the process of becoming un-crazy, have a life-changing realization. It was like lightning at the time, but once I tried to explain it out loud, in words, it occured to me that it was something that I should have had figured out long ago. My revelation came word-for-word as this thought: "You can get to know him before you make that decision of whether or not you should marry him." Just ponder on that. It blew my mind when I realized the eternal significance of that statement.
Another bit, I have recently become a part of the cult following of that great work of literary genius "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." (Hence the quote.) Genius. Pure genius. A little existentialist maybe, but it goes against the nature of existentialism to disregard it because its existentialist.
(Now that I read that sentence over again, it sounds lovely, but I'm not sure if I successfully communicated what I was thinking. I'm not even sure if it was that intelligent of a thought to begin with. Ah, well.)
So, I recently discovered that there is a word in my lexicon that I overuse. The problem is that I have very little control over when and how often I use this word. The word is "ouch." Being so interested in dance, I liked to think that I was a fairly coordinated person. However, working a job with plenty of physical movement has forced me to reexamine my clumsiness level. As I am sitting here, nursing a bruised Achilles tendon (which is actually healing quite well), an infected 3-inch wide, 2-degree burn on that same leg, which burn I got from the muffler of a motorcycle, and a recently minorly sprained ankle on the other foot, I'm beginning to question to wisdom of working in the warehouse at Walmart. Where I throw freight all day. The awful part is that I was just starting to develop some decent arms--do you hear that, ACTUAL ARM MUSCLES--and it'd be a pity to stop that process now. Not to mention the fact that in spite of it being a JOB, I actually kind of enjoy work. The problem now is...how do you limp with BOTH feet? Is that actually possible? I'll just be walking with a slight C3PO attitude, which although inconvenient, is pretty cool.
Last item of business, books! Now wait, I lied, there's one more thing I want to mention before I end this blog. But first I'll mention books.
I am absolutely adoring the freedom of summer reading! However, the reading lists at the library only tell you so much, so I'm sort of trying to start a personal reading list of my own, comprised of books that as a lover of books, you simply HAVE to read, and of books that others have recommended to me. So, I humbly make a request of all the readers of this blog. What book recommendations do YOU have? Here, I'll make a few to all of you, so I can return the favor hopefully. Or so that you all owe me one, depending on how you look at it. Anyway...
"Little Little" by M.E. Kerr
About dwarfs and what it's like to live in a world where everything's set up for other, TALLER people. Also about romance, and families, and prejudice, and getting thru hard times.
"Go and Come Back" by Joan Abelove
A story about 2 white women who live for a time in a Peruvian village, and about the lives of the Peruvian indians and how each groups beliefs affect and change the lives of the other.
"The Whistling Toilets" by Randy Powell
A great coming-of-age, falling-in-love-with-the-girl-next-door kind of story, involving tennis, theft, summer camps, and this really weird girl in a red sporty car who knows Clint Eastwood.
"No More Dead Dogs" by Gordon Korman
The story of an 8th-grade jock turning drama geek! Power to ya, Wallace Wallace. About a boy who never tells a lie, a girl who writes letter to Julia Roberts, a long-haired blonde and very jealous football star, and also a girl with a little more lipgloss than intelligence.
"Briar Rose" by Jane Yolen
A brilliant and fascinating story of a girl who's on a journey to uncover her past, which past intricately entertwines the Holocause with the fairy tale "Sleeping Beauty."
There are a bunch of others...classics like "Ella Enchanted," "Dealing with Dragons," "Ender's Game," and the "Princess Bride," but since those are a little more commonly known, I'll limit my list to the above...listed.
Now it's your turn! On the comments board, please tell me the titles of any books you loved or that you think I'd like, along with a word or two about the plot or something. Thank you all, and if you happen to read any of the books I listed, I hope you enjoy them!
Very last item of business, and I'll keep this brief. I want to be a better person. I've become really cynical over the last year or so, but part of that cynicism come is the form of being judgemental. I want to be better than that. I want to be more forgiving and loving and accepting. I want people to feel comfortable around me, and to feel like I love and appreciate them for who they are. SO, with that in mind, I want to let all of you know that I love you! You're all such good influences in my life, and it's YOUR love and friendship that inspire me to be better. Thank you for being wonderful!
Monday, May 23, 2005
When you're here, it's all peaches and cream! But when you're not, it's all raspberries and tarts!
General Announcement #1) I am going outta my mind right now for reasons which only 2 people in the universe currently know of, and part of the craziness comes from the fact that I can't really tell anyone what I'm going crazy about. Now that's whatcha call a vicious circle. Just thought I should preface this blog with that information, so that you can make excuses for me because of my present state of mind.
General Announcement #2) I've tried to make it as clear as possible that my name is now "Peg-Leg Whittaker," but the name doesn't seem to be sticking. Would you like to know that name that IS sticking? Against my will? "Gimpy." Definitely not as cool as "Peg-Leg Whittaker."
General Announcement #3) Did anyone else watch the highly anticipated "Muppet Wizard of Oz"? Was anyone else gravely dissappointed? I only caught about 15 minutes of it, and it was crappy. Lame-o.
General Announcement #4) Maybe I'll go to film school in a year or two. Just throwing that out there.
General Announcement #5) Annie and I both have the day off and we're bored out of our bloody minds. We've been stuck in the house all day, and don't have the car, and I can't walk anywhere. Whaa. "We've got cabin fever, we're all going MAD!"
General Announcement #6) I apologize that a great deal of this blog so far has been complaining. *Ph-tooey* It's all been spit in the fire now and is disentigrating and neither of us shall have to deal with the unpleasantness of complaints any longer!
Now that we've taken care of the necessary business, I should like to bring up a subject most worthy of your attention. Pancakes.
The simple fact of the matter is that pancakes are deceiving. Pancakes, in general, have an innate sense of simplicity to them. Even world-reknowned chefs would have you think that the pancake epitomizes simplicity. But au contraire. Pancakes are one of the most delicate and pain-stakingly complicated meals to concoct. I'm just saying.
Think about it, won't you?
General Announcement #2) I've tried to make it as clear as possible that my name is now "Peg-Leg Whittaker," but the name doesn't seem to be sticking. Would you like to know that name that IS sticking? Against my will? "Gimpy." Definitely not as cool as "Peg-Leg Whittaker."
General Announcement #3) Did anyone else watch the highly anticipated "Muppet Wizard of Oz"? Was anyone else gravely dissappointed? I only caught about 15 minutes of it, and it was crappy. Lame-o.
General Announcement #4) Maybe I'll go to film school in a year or two. Just throwing that out there.
General Announcement #5) Annie and I both have the day off and we're bored out of our bloody minds. We've been stuck in the house all day, and don't have the car, and I can't walk anywhere. Whaa. "We've got cabin fever, we're all going MAD!"
General Announcement #6) I apologize that a great deal of this blog so far has been complaining. *Ph-tooey* It's all been spit in the fire now and is disentigrating and neither of us shall have to deal with the unpleasantness of complaints any longer!
Now that we've taken care of the necessary business, I should like to bring up a subject most worthy of your attention. Pancakes.
The simple fact of the matter is that pancakes are deceiving. Pancakes, in general, have an innate sense of simplicity to them. Even world-reknowned chefs would have you think that the pancake epitomizes simplicity. But au contraire. Pancakes are one of the most delicate and pain-stakingly complicated meals to concoct. I'm just saying.
Think about it, won't you?
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Call where yer at and we'll come where yer to!
Yargh! All right me hearties, I've got some bad news and I've got some good news. What say ye shall I tell first? The bad news, savvy? Yargh, tis a sorry tale indeed. Twas nigh 6:30 yesterday evenin at me job, whilst I was a-pullin a pallet-jack o' pet supplies out to the floor. I went to turn the blasted thing starboard, but blimey if she didn't turn. Her handle went right up and the thing didn't stop till she'd run right over me right heel. Hurt more than a barrel of gunpowder shoved up yer nose. I hobbled into the breakroom and took off me shoe, and twas blood and carnage nigh worse than I ever seen! I couldna walked on me foot if the devil himself crawled outta Davy Jones locker and called me down to watery hellish grave below a' I had ter run like mad ter hide meself. And wha's the good news, ye say? Well, savvy, went to the doctor and nothin's busted up too badly...no chips er tears er breaks er rips. Justa right bruised Achilles tendon and a chunk o' skin gone. But the thing to rejoice over tis it 'appened at work, so me decent employer paid for the doctor and supplies, and for the next 4 days I'll be takin off. I musta signed me John Hancock well nigh 50 times today. I've got meself some crutches fer the next few days and a little somethin to stabilize me foot whilst she's healin. The brace they've got me in looks like a bloody moon-boot. Tis enormous...all she be missing is jet-packs on the sides. A whole lot o' truck fer a little bruised tendon. But they say she's got to heal right so I'll be a-hobblin' around for a while. And that, me hearties, is how I got so that they're calling me "Peg-Leg Whittaker, the Scourge of the Seven Seas!"
A little note fer all those to whom it pertains: Me cell phone is at last a-workin' again. So ye can call me on it if ye wish. YARGH!
A little note fer all those to whom it pertains: Me cell phone is at last a-workin' again. So ye can call me on it if ye wish. YARGH!
Saturday, May 14, 2005
"Pray for adventures." --JD Taylor
Last night I had a totally new and slightly awkward experience. First of all, have you ever noticed how watching a movie is different from watching live theatre? Probably the biggest difference is that in movies, the actors and crew can't hear or see you, so you can say and do whatever you want and be completely candid in your reactions. Unless, of course, one of the actors is in the room with you as you watch. THAT is one of the weirdest experiences in the world, and that's what I did last night. Watched a movie while one of the actors was in the room. As a matter of fact, we were in his house. (His enormous, rich, taxidermy-filled house.) The movie was a short, rather creepy short film called "Dead West." It's also extremely difficult to be objective when you recognize the face of one of the actors as the guy on the couch across the room.
A friend of everyone's in the theatre dept. here, Ryan Wood, recently graduated and went down to Salt Lake to try his luck in the world of church film. And it totally took off, landing him roles in all sorts of things. For all you Mormons out there, he played Hyrum Smith in "The Work and the Glory" movie. ("You've got to stop beating everyone at stick-pull.") He just got done filming for another church movie in which he plays Oliver Cowdry, and they're still filming for the other "Work and the Glory" movies. But since he had a break, he came home to little old Rexburg, ID. In "Dead West," he plays a bank robber/murderer (creepy) and was shot AND hung. Exciting stuff, huh?
All his stories made me want to do the same thing...go down to Salt Lake, get an agent, make church films. How fun would that be? Maybe I will someday.
Second item of blogness, as I was sitting in the living room last night, listening to Brazilian dance music, sipping a virgin screwdriver (that's a drink) and playing "Pop-up Pirate Russian Roullette" by myself, it occured to me what a great day it had been. It was a day off for me and Sarah, and we had planned to go up to West Yellowstone for the day, but decided against it. Around noon, it was so beautiful out that we decided to get in the car and drive to the park on the other side of town. As we were climbing into the car I said "Oh, it's so gorgeous out here! We should have gone to West." She gave me this look and I got this big grin and said "Should we?" She grinned back and said "Let's do it." We ran back in the house to grab some more stuff and took off! It was so much fun. A great drive, and we stopped at the Playmill and said hi to everyone, and then we decided to go for a walk on one of the trails nearby. It was looking a little rainy, so we decided to only take the 1-mile trail. As we neared the halfway point, it started HAILING, so we started running. Life lesson #76a: "Running in hail is painful." We stopped under a tree to rest for a minute, and as we were trying to shelter ourselves and catch our breath, we hear the unmistakable roar of a bear, fairly close to us. We looked around quickly and couldn't see it, but then again, we were alone in the woods and it was hailing, so it was hard to see ANYTHING. We just looked at eachother and said "Let's go." We ran most of the 1/2-mile that was left of the trail, mostly because everytime we stopped to rest, we heard it again. But we made it back alive!
Then, we got home, and I napped and read and played and ate, and then we went to Ryan's.
My good friend JD says to pray for adventures. He learned that on his mission. So I have been, and I can't figure out if I'm having more adventures, or if I'm just realizing more what adventures I do have. Of course, some adventures I could probably do without...adventures like tripping over Alexis when entering Ryan's house and nearly knocking over one of two 3-foot tall vases, which are from 6th century China and cost $75,000 EACH, and which casually decorate the foyer. Then again, no harm was done and it makes a great story, so I'm grateful for the adventure it was.
I challenge you all to pray for adventures...see what happens. Unless of course, you want to live a safe--and dull--life, in which case, carry on as usual.
A friend of everyone's in the theatre dept. here, Ryan Wood, recently graduated and went down to Salt Lake to try his luck in the world of church film. And it totally took off, landing him roles in all sorts of things. For all you Mormons out there, he played Hyrum Smith in "The Work and the Glory" movie. ("You've got to stop beating everyone at stick-pull.") He just got done filming for another church movie in which he plays Oliver Cowdry, and they're still filming for the other "Work and the Glory" movies. But since he had a break, he came home to little old Rexburg, ID. In "Dead West," he plays a bank robber/murderer (creepy) and was shot AND hung. Exciting stuff, huh?
All his stories made me want to do the same thing...go down to Salt Lake, get an agent, make church films. How fun would that be? Maybe I will someday.
Second item of blogness, as I was sitting in the living room last night, listening to Brazilian dance music, sipping a virgin screwdriver (that's a drink) and playing "Pop-up Pirate Russian Roullette" by myself, it occured to me what a great day it had been. It was a day off for me and Sarah, and we had planned to go up to West Yellowstone for the day, but decided against it. Around noon, it was so beautiful out that we decided to get in the car and drive to the park on the other side of town. As we were climbing into the car I said "Oh, it's so gorgeous out here! We should have gone to West." She gave me this look and I got this big grin and said "Should we?" She grinned back and said "Let's do it." We ran back in the house to grab some more stuff and took off! It was so much fun. A great drive, and we stopped at the Playmill and said hi to everyone, and then we decided to go for a walk on one of the trails nearby. It was looking a little rainy, so we decided to only take the 1-mile trail. As we neared the halfway point, it started HAILING, so we started running. Life lesson #76a: "Running in hail is painful." We stopped under a tree to rest for a minute, and as we were trying to shelter ourselves and catch our breath, we hear the unmistakable roar of a bear, fairly close to us. We looked around quickly and couldn't see it, but then again, we were alone in the woods and it was hailing, so it was hard to see ANYTHING. We just looked at eachother and said "Let's go." We ran most of the 1/2-mile that was left of the trail, mostly because everytime we stopped to rest, we heard it again. But we made it back alive!
Then, we got home, and I napped and read and played and ate, and then we went to Ryan's.
My good friend JD says to pray for adventures. He learned that on his mission. So I have been, and I can't figure out if I'm having more adventures, or if I'm just realizing more what adventures I do have. Of course, some adventures I could probably do without...adventures like tripping over Alexis when entering Ryan's house and nearly knocking over one of two 3-foot tall vases, which are from 6th century China and cost $75,000 EACH, and which casually decorate the foyer. Then again, no harm was done and it makes a great story, so I'm grateful for the adventure it was.
I challenge you all to pray for adventures...see what happens. Unless of course, you want to live a safe--and dull--life, in which case, carry on as usual.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
I'm a human being AND a girl! That's a bad combination!
Hizzah for 2 blogs in one day! This one is actually post-dated. I wrote it about a week ago but didn't have access to the internet until now. So, here it is, with a few minor addendums as they come to me!
Well, dearest family, friends, loved ones, and visitors, my homeless days are over and we're settling in to our cozy new apartment! As I've been absent from this blog for a while, allow me to open this entry with a "turbo-update." All the important details about the life of Liz in one brief paragraph:
I'm living in Rexburg this summer, employed by what my mother affectionately refers to as "The Chief Minion of Satan," a.k.a. Walmart. I've discovered that I have a great love of philosophy. I don't have a significant other. My career onstage is carrying on, although it will have to be put on hold during the summer due to work schedule unless they start paying me. I don't have a car, but do have the happy privelege of access to one (thanks, Jagger). My weight and hair color have remained consistent.
Now that I've done that, I move on to tell my adventures from the week I spent "in limbo." There's actually not much to tell--it was a pretty mellow week. I watched 9 romantic comedies over the course of 5 days. Of course, that probably had a lot to do with the fact that I was running about a 9.7 on the S.F. scale. I also started my summer reading fest...check it out:
"Lord of the Flies" by William Golding (great and creepy)
"The Mother Murders" by Dale E. Gilbert (fun classy detective story)
"Briar Rose" by Jane Yolen (phenomenal!)
"Ishmael" by Daniel Quinn (also great...intriguing)
"Good Poems" compiled by Garrison Keillor (great collection)
and I'm currently re-reading "The Twinkie Squad" by Gordon Korman, which is fabulous.
See, while I'm in school, I have to read textbooks and assigned novels all the time, and I know that if I start reading a novel of my own choice, I'll neglect my homework. So I force myself to stay away from the library and my own book collection and can usually manage to limit myself to about 5 novels a school year. So as soon as the semester's over and summer is in the air, the public library becomes a temple of reading! (Is that sacreligious?) One highlight of my week was going to the Madison County Library and getting my library card. There were a few adventures involved in that morning...
The day was lovely, so I rode my scooter 15 minutes downtown. In fact, the day was so lovely that I was paying more attention to it than the enormous chunk of sidewalk that was sticking out and which caused me to take a total face-plant. I kind of wish there was some way to see how I fell; it was pretty classic. Front wheel cuaght, vehicle and passenger flip forward and then passenger rolls approximately 20 feet. Beautiful, although I did get a pretty gnarly scraped-up knee. The really mysterious thing is that something about the impact caused my water bottle to COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR. I don't know how, I haven't taken physics yet, but all I know is that I had my water bottle before the fall, and I didn't have it afterwards, and it was nowhere to be found within a 30-foot radius of the fall site. Maybe a team of diabolical villians de-hydrated it and then re-hydrated it with soft laboratory water, leaving it in a hightly unstable state, meaning the slightest impact causes it to vanish. That must be it.
Well, once I was safely in the library, I found that in order to get a library card, I had to have proof of a Rexburg address. This presented a minor problem in that I had neither a current Rexburg address nor a future one. The girl said I could use something with an old address and come back later to change it. Not being exactly prepared even for this, all I could produce was a little slip of printed paper from my purse. It read "This hereby certifies that Elisabeth Whittaker, address-blah-blah-blah, is an ordained member of the clergy of the Church of Spiritual Humanism with all powers and priveleges granted therein..." And it actually worked! Some of you may at this point be shaking your heads at my use of a fraudulent document to obtain a library card. I will have you know that it is NOT a fraudulent document; I really AM an ordained clergyman of the church of Spiritual Humanism. I was ordained online, just for kicks. One of those fairly pointless, whacky things I decided I just had to do before I die, and if I waited until I was almost dead to do all those things, I wouldn't be able to do them all. So I did it when I was 19. I figured it wouldn't do any harm; it's not the true church anyway. (Lightning bolt cue...NOW.)
I would like to conclude this blog entry with the documentation of a strange phenomenon I have recently observed in myself. Every few days or so, it's one of my responsibilities at Walmart to stock the paper goods aisle. You know, napkins, paper plates, toilet paper, etc. Well, lately, I seem to be having these awesome revelations about my life that only come to me while I'm stocking that aisle. They'll just come out of the blue. I'll be refilling the paper towel section when all of a sudden I'll think to myself "Hey, maybe I could be a motivational speaker." Or I'll be straightening the Kleenex boxes and the thought will come to me "I wonder if I could publish my writing for supplemental revenue throughout my life?" Or "Maybe in a few years I'll get an agent down in Salt Lake and audition for Church movies and get into them, like 'The Work and the Glory' or 'The Best Two Years.'" ("I like pie." "You sa Gad?") I wonder what it is about that aisle...maybe it's because I'm so surrounded by white. Lots of toilet paper and napkins. Anyway.
I close in the words of the immortal Jim Carey as he spoke them in "A Series of Unfortunate Events"...
"I'm sorry, I don't speak monkey. Banana?"
I love you all!
Well, dearest family, friends, loved ones, and visitors, my homeless days are over and we're settling in to our cozy new apartment! As I've been absent from this blog for a while, allow me to open this entry with a "turbo-update." All the important details about the life of Liz in one brief paragraph:
I'm living in Rexburg this summer, employed by what my mother affectionately refers to as "The Chief Minion of Satan," a.k.a. Walmart. I've discovered that I have a great love of philosophy. I don't have a significant other. My career onstage is carrying on, although it will have to be put on hold during the summer due to work schedule unless they start paying me. I don't have a car, but do have the happy privelege of access to one (thanks, Jagger). My weight and hair color have remained consistent.
Now that I've done that, I move on to tell my adventures from the week I spent "in limbo." There's actually not much to tell--it was a pretty mellow week. I watched 9 romantic comedies over the course of 5 days. Of course, that probably had a lot to do with the fact that I was running about a 9.7 on the S.F. scale. I also started my summer reading fest...check it out:
"Lord of the Flies" by William Golding (great and creepy)
"The Mother Murders" by Dale E. Gilbert (fun classy detective story)
"Briar Rose" by Jane Yolen (phenomenal!)
"Ishmael" by Daniel Quinn (also great...intriguing)
"Good Poems" compiled by Garrison Keillor (great collection)
and I'm currently re-reading "The Twinkie Squad" by Gordon Korman, which is fabulous.
See, while I'm in school, I have to read textbooks and assigned novels all the time, and I know that if I start reading a novel of my own choice, I'll neglect my homework. So I force myself to stay away from the library and my own book collection and can usually manage to limit myself to about 5 novels a school year. So as soon as the semester's over and summer is in the air, the public library becomes a temple of reading! (Is that sacreligious?) One highlight of my week was going to the Madison County Library and getting my library card. There were a few adventures involved in that morning...
The day was lovely, so I rode my scooter 15 minutes downtown. In fact, the day was so lovely that I was paying more attention to it than the enormous chunk of sidewalk that was sticking out and which caused me to take a total face-plant. I kind of wish there was some way to see how I fell; it was pretty classic. Front wheel cuaght, vehicle and passenger flip forward and then passenger rolls approximately 20 feet. Beautiful, although I did get a pretty gnarly scraped-up knee. The really mysterious thing is that something about the impact caused my water bottle to COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR. I don't know how, I haven't taken physics yet, but all I know is that I had my water bottle before the fall, and I didn't have it afterwards, and it was nowhere to be found within a 30-foot radius of the fall site. Maybe a team of diabolical villians de-hydrated it and then re-hydrated it with soft laboratory water, leaving it in a hightly unstable state, meaning the slightest impact causes it to vanish. That must be it.
Well, once I was safely in the library, I found that in order to get a library card, I had to have proof of a Rexburg address. This presented a minor problem in that I had neither a current Rexburg address nor a future one. The girl said I could use something with an old address and come back later to change it. Not being exactly prepared even for this, all I could produce was a little slip of printed paper from my purse. It read "This hereby certifies that Elisabeth Whittaker, address-blah-blah-blah, is an ordained member of the clergy of the Church of Spiritual Humanism with all powers and priveleges granted therein..." And it actually worked! Some of you may at this point be shaking your heads at my use of a fraudulent document to obtain a library card. I will have you know that it is NOT a fraudulent document; I really AM an ordained clergyman of the church of Spiritual Humanism. I was ordained online, just for kicks. One of those fairly pointless, whacky things I decided I just had to do before I die, and if I waited until I was almost dead to do all those things, I wouldn't be able to do them all. So I did it when I was 19. I figured it wouldn't do any harm; it's not the true church anyway. (Lightning bolt cue...NOW.)
I would like to conclude this blog entry with the documentation of a strange phenomenon I have recently observed in myself. Every few days or so, it's one of my responsibilities at Walmart to stock the paper goods aisle. You know, napkins, paper plates, toilet paper, etc. Well, lately, I seem to be having these awesome revelations about my life that only come to me while I'm stocking that aisle. They'll just come out of the blue. I'll be refilling the paper towel section when all of a sudden I'll think to myself "Hey, maybe I could be a motivational speaker." Or I'll be straightening the Kleenex boxes and the thought will come to me "I wonder if I could publish my writing for supplemental revenue throughout my life?" Or "Maybe in a few years I'll get an agent down in Salt Lake and audition for Church movies and get into them, like 'The Work and the Glory' or 'The Best Two Years.'" ("I like pie." "You sa Gad?") I wonder what it is about that aisle...maybe it's because I'm so surrounded by white. Lots of toilet paper and napkins. Anyway.
I close in the words of the immortal Jim Carey as he spoke them in "A Series of Unfortunate Events"...
"I'm sorry, I don't speak monkey. Banana?"
I love you all!
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
RANT AND RAVE!!!!!!!
I’m mad. I’m mad at everyone in the whole world. I’m mad at everyone and everything in the whole world. I’m mad at all the bracelets and the TV’s and the hockey sticks and the carports and the books in the whole world. Oh, wait I forgot to mention this week. I’M ESPECIALLY MAD AT THIS STUPID WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For those who wish to be uplifted, please stop reading now. I need to rant and rave for a moment, and vent all my frustrations in verbal form. I’ll be better eventually, I just need to let this anger out.
First of all, I’m broke. That’s probably the most pressing issue at the moment. I owe a substantially larger amount of money than I make. And there’s no one else to blame, which makes it worse.
Second of all, my room is currently extremely messy, but I can’t put any of it away because it needs to be packed. But I can’t pack anything until Saturday, when I have time and boxes. We have to be out of here by 4pm on Saturday, but we can’t get in to our new place until April 30, so in the meantime, we have to drag all of our stuff over to Greenbrier, store it in the upper lounge, live out of suitcases for a week (which I despise), then move all of our stuff out of the upper lounge and into our apartment.
I try to give myself something to look forward to as a relief, but when I start to think about finally getting all settled into Greenbrier and all that, I get really scared. I really don’t know how the people dynamic is going to work out. I shouldn’t worry, but I can’t help it.
I was up until the wee small hours of the morning just laying in bed and worrying. So on top of everything, I’m going on very little sleep, and the beautiful morning I woke up to was deceiving…it is now raining.
Oh, yeah, and I forgot to mention finals and clean-checks and good-byes. I hate good-byes. Oh, yeah and job-hunting.
As you can imagine, I am ready to tear out my hair. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, change my name, hotwire a van, and drive across the country to where I don’t have to worry about any of this and start all over again. I’ll pawn my jewelry to buy a guitar and sit on city corners and sing songs about social reform and hope that people give me money.
Then I’ll return to civilized life and say that all of it was a social science experiment and then someone will hear about it and give be a $23 billion dollar scholarship for life because of my pioneering efforts in identifying with the under-privileged.
Okay, time to return to reality. I think I’ll shave my legs. That always gives me a clearer, newer outlook on life.
For those who wish to be uplifted, please stop reading now. I need to rant and rave for a moment, and vent all my frustrations in verbal form. I’ll be better eventually, I just need to let this anger out.
First of all, I’m broke. That’s probably the most pressing issue at the moment. I owe a substantially larger amount of money than I make. And there’s no one else to blame, which makes it worse.
Second of all, my room is currently extremely messy, but I can’t put any of it away because it needs to be packed. But I can’t pack anything until Saturday, when I have time and boxes. We have to be out of here by 4pm on Saturday, but we can’t get in to our new place until April 30, so in the meantime, we have to drag all of our stuff over to Greenbrier, store it in the upper lounge, live out of suitcases for a week (which I despise), then move all of our stuff out of the upper lounge and into our apartment.
I try to give myself something to look forward to as a relief, but when I start to think about finally getting all settled into Greenbrier and all that, I get really scared. I really don’t know how the people dynamic is going to work out. I shouldn’t worry, but I can’t help it.
I was up until the wee small hours of the morning just laying in bed and worrying. So on top of everything, I’m going on very little sleep, and the beautiful morning I woke up to was deceiving…it is now raining.
Oh, yeah, and I forgot to mention finals and clean-checks and good-byes. I hate good-byes. Oh, yeah and job-hunting.
As you can imagine, I am ready to tear out my hair. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, change my name, hotwire a van, and drive across the country to where I don’t have to worry about any of this and start all over again. I’ll pawn my jewelry to buy a guitar and sit on city corners and sing songs about social reform and hope that people give me money.
Then I’ll return to civilized life and say that all of it was a social science experiment and then someone will hear about it and give be a $23 billion dollar scholarship for life because of my pioneering efforts in identifying with the under-privileged.
Okay, time to return to reality. I think I’ll shave my legs. That always gives me a clearer, newer outlook on life.
Saturday, April 2, 2005
CARPE DIEM!
I seem to go through stages with this blog. I go almost entire months without touching it, and then I write everyday for an entire week or so. And so I continue now...
Well, life seems to be slowly settling back into normalcy. Normalcy in and of itself has an ever-changing definition, so I guess I should make this comment clearer by saying that I'm getting used to the changes that have occured the last couple of weeks and those changes are now becoming the norm.
Is anyone else, however, kinda thrown off by Daylight Savings? Or a lot thrown off? I most assuredly am. Granted, my sleep patterns haven't been quite regular this weekend. Let me tell you my adventures...
It all started last night at approximately 11pm. Lexis and Emily and I decided to bake things. It's become sort of a weekend tradition to do that...stay up until the wee small hours of the morning engaged in the most glorious of culinary endeavors. So began one of the funnest nights in the world...
11pm
Lexis and Emily and I made 2 dozen whole-wheat applesauce muffins, several batches each of 2 different kinds of cookies, and 1 pan of Strawberry-banana Jello (which said pan of Jello I ate almost entirely by myself). All of this cooking took place in the upper lounge, and it also involved jamming on the guitars and dancing to big band and latin music. And Savage Garden, too.
2:30am
Lexis and I decide to have a slumber party and watch a movie and sleep in the upper lounge. We clean up baking stuff and gather bedding and get ready for bed. Which was a little bit of a waste of time, because...
3:00am
In making a delivery of healing, comforting cookies to our neighbors in Apt 461, Lex, Emily and I end up staying and talking with Katie and Mattie about everything from medical problems to the challenges and advantages of living in a predominately LDS community.
4:30am
Emily had the inclination to go to bed finally, although I can't imagine why, because me and Lex were still somehow wide-awake and so we decided to watch a movie like we planned anyway. We submitted ourselves to the LDS version of "Pride and Prejudice," which was actually kind of enjoyable in a mindless, 5 o clock in the morning kind of way.
6:30am
The movie gets done and we look out the window to see the very first faint streaks of light coming. Still not tired AT ALL, we decide to climb the hill to the Ricks building and watch the sunrise. Barefoot and wrapped up in our comforters, we hiked up the hill to the Ricks, and on the way had one of the creepiest experiences in the world. Please note that it was only faintly light outside and it was very windy and the entire campus seemed completely deserted. Approximately 2 thirds of the way up, we hear this weird faint yowly howling noise. We looked around, quite perplexed, and thought it was someone calling to us or something. Right then, this enormous crow, cawing menacingly and very loudly, swooped down a few feet away from our heads. A crow was dive-bombing us! Fearing for our lives, Alexis threw her arms around me and we stood huddled together and frozen in fear while the crow circled above us. Alexis asked me something finally, but I didn't answer because I had just seen what was making the weird noise. Alexis said "Liz?" and I just stared ahead and whispered "Cats!" There, about 20 feet in front of us, were 2 cats--2 BLACK cats, I might add--that were on the verge of a fight. Both stood staring eachother down, every hair on their bodies raised and howling at eachother. It was SO CREEPY. Picture it...gray, dim sky, a strong wind bending the trees, a completely deserted campus, 2 black cats fighting in front of us and above us the crow continued to caw and circle and occasionally swoop down near us. *Shiver* We finally decided that the only logical course of action was to turn these creepy creatures' tool against them...use fear to our own advantage. We were creeped out, yes, but little did they know that we held the ace. Little did they expect us to take a deep breath each, start yelling in gibberish, and break into a mad run! Which is what we did. I'm not sure what it was, but it was just bizarre to us that all these weird elements combined to create this Salem Witch Trials atmosphere.
Anyway, things were much calmer after that. We each sat on a rock about 30 feet away from eachother and just watched as it slowly got lighter and the streaks of orange and yellow in the east became stronger, and as the lights in the city turned off a few at a time as the day got nearer. It was so peaceful and beautiful, and we sat there for a good half hour. Not talking, just watching and feeling and thinking. It was a wonderful way to start a Sunday. Walking back, Alexis suggested that we do that every Sunday...wake up and watch the sunrise, to which I replied "We didn't wake up!" But point taken, and we decided it is a lovely way to start the day, but too tiring to do more than once a week.
7:15am
We head back home and talk for a while longer, and although we still weren't really sleepy (and I'm really wondering WHY), we decided we should try and get a little sleep. It was strange, though...it was like "Well, I'm going to see if I can catch 4 winks in the 2 hours before conference starts." And we did.
It was also the night that we lose an hour of sleep due to Daylight Savings, so my poor internal clock said "What the flip are you doing to me!?" and made up for it with a sudden rush of sleepiness at roughly 8:00 this morning. So I slept on and off from 8:00am to 4:30pm today. In between sessions, of course. (Ah heck, who'm I kidding? I woke up at the start of each session with every intention of watching and/or listening attentively, but I didn't make it very far in without dozing off.)
Well, I know that if anything's ever going to make sense to me again, I'd better go to bed now and just look forward to tomorrow. To end on a little bit deeper note, I should like to conclude with the insightful words of Alexis Kragenbrink, for whom a lack of sleep inspires particularly good writing.
"Have you ever had the experience where you stay up all night and into the morning and finally come to the hour at which point you can't determine what you did "yesterday" versus "today"? I certainly have, and I will let you know that it's worth it. This one particular time I did it and had the most epiphanical (yes, made up, but I like it) and majestic experience. I...realized that [this close friend] and I were the experiences of the night personified. We are at the point in our lives where we are trying to determine whether we're still in the realm of "yesterday" or if we've moved on to the time known as "today." To this friend, I say it's "today." I say that she and I let go of last night andopen our hearts and minds to a new and glorious day, full of new opportunities, dreams, loves, and challenges. It is now 8 o'clock in the morning, and I hear this friend snoring, only twenty minutes after our return home from this grand adventure...Don't hesitate. Join with me, now, friend. Let's get out of bed, get dressed, grab some whole-wheat applesauce muffins, and run gregariously into the arms of this new day that are stretched out before us."
Well, life seems to be slowly settling back into normalcy. Normalcy in and of itself has an ever-changing definition, so I guess I should make this comment clearer by saying that I'm getting used to the changes that have occured the last couple of weeks and those changes are now becoming the norm.
Is anyone else, however, kinda thrown off by Daylight Savings? Or a lot thrown off? I most assuredly am. Granted, my sleep patterns haven't been quite regular this weekend. Let me tell you my adventures...
It all started last night at approximately 11pm. Lexis and Emily and I decided to bake things. It's become sort of a weekend tradition to do that...stay up until the wee small hours of the morning engaged in the most glorious of culinary endeavors. So began one of the funnest nights in the world...
11pm
Lexis and Emily and I made 2 dozen whole-wheat applesauce muffins, several batches each of 2 different kinds of cookies, and 1 pan of Strawberry-banana Jello (which said pan of Jello I ate almost entirely by myself). All of this cooking took place in the upper lounge, and it also involved jamming on the guitars and dancing to big band and latin music. And Savage Garden, too.
2:30am
Lexis and I decide to have a slumber party and watch a movie and sleep in the upper lounge. We clean up baking stuff and gather bedding and get ready for bed. Which was a little bit of a waste of time, because...
3:00am
In making a delivery of healing, comforting cookies to our neighbors in Apt 461, Lex, Emily and I end up staying and talking with Katie and Mattie about everything from medical problems to the challenges and advantages of living in a predominately LDS community.
4:30am
Emily had the inclination to go to bed finally, although I can't imagine why, because me and Lex were still somehow wide-awake and so we decided to watch a movie like we planned anyway. We submitted ourselves to the LDS version of "Pride and Prejudice," which was actually kind of enjoyable in a mindless, 5 o clock in the morning kind of way.
6:30am
The movie gets done and we look out the window to see the very first faint streaks of light coming. Still not tired AT ALL, we decide to climb the hill to the Ricks building and watch the sunrise. Barefoot and wrapped up in our comforters, we hiked up the hill to the Ricks, and on the way had one of the creepiest experiences in the world. Please note that it was only faintly light outside and it was very windy and the entire campus seemed completely deserted. Approximately 2 thirds of the way up, we hear this weird faint yowly howling noise. We looked around, quite perplexed, and thought it was someone calling to us or something. Right then, this enormous crow, cawing menacingly and very loudly, swooped down a few feet away from our heads. A crow was dive-bombing us! Fearing for our lives, Alexis threw her arms around me and we stood huddled together and frozen in fear while the crow circled above us. Alexis asked me something finally, but I didn't answer because I had just seen what was making the weird noise. Alexis said "Liz?" and I just stared ahead and whispered "Cats!" There, about 20 feet in front of us, were 2 cats--2 BLACK cats, I might add--that were on the verge of a fight. Both stood staring eachother down, every hair on their bodies raised and howling at eachother. It was SO CREEPY. Picture it...gray, dim sky, a strong wind bending the trees, a completely deserted campus, 2 black cats fighting in front of us and above us the crow continued to caw and circle and occasionally swoop down near us. *Shiver* We finally decided that the only logical course of action was to turn these creepy creatures' tool against them...use fear to our own advantage. We were creeped out, yes, but little did they know that we held the ace. Little did they expect us to take a deep breath each, start yelling in gibberish, and break into a mad run! Which is what we did. I'm not sure what it was, but it was just bizarre to us that all these weird elements combined to create this Salem Witch Trials atmosphere.
Anyway, things were much calmer after that. We each sat on a rock about 30 feet away from eachother and just watched as it slowly got lighter and the streaks of orange and yellow in the east became stronger, and as the lights in the city turned off a few at a time as the day got nearer. It was so peaceful and beautiful, and we sat there for a good half hour. Not talking, just watching and feeling and thinking. It was a wonderful way to start a Sunday. Walking back, Alexis suggested that we do that every Sunday...wake up and watch the sunrise, to which I replied "We didn't wake up!" But point taken, and we decided it is a lovely way to start the day, but too tiring to do more than once a week.
7:15am
We head back home and talk for a while longer, and although we still weren't really sleepy (and I'm really wondering WHY), we decided we should try and get a little sleep. It was strange, though...it was like "Well, I'm going to see if I can catch 4 winks in the 2 hours before conference starts." And we did.
It was also the night that we lose an hour of sleep due to Daylight Savings, so my poor internal clock said "What the flip are you doing to me!?" and made up for it with a sudden rush of sleepiness at roughly 8:00 this morning. So I slept on and off from 8:00am to 4:30pm today. In between sessions, of course. (Ah heck, who'm I kidding? I woke up at the start of each session with every intention of watching and/or listening attentively, but I didn't make it very far in without dozing off.)
Well, I know that if anything's ever going to make sense to me again, I'd better go to bed now and just look forward to tomorrow. To end on a little bit deeper note, I should like to conclude with the insightful words of Alexis Kragenbrink, for whom a lack of sleep inspires particularly good writing.
"Have you ever had the experience where you stay up all night and into the morning and finally come to the hour at which point you can't determine what you did "yesterday" versus "today"? I certainly have, and I will let you know that it's worth it. This one particular time I did it and had the most epiphanical (yes, made up, but I like it) and majestic experience. I...realized that [this close friend] and I were the experiences of the night personified. We are at the point in our lives where we are trying to determine whether we're still in the realm of "yesterday" or if we've moved on to the time known as "today." To this friend, I say it's "today." I say that she and I let go of last night andopen our hearts and minds to a new and glorious day, full of new opportunities, dreams, loves, and challenges. It is now 8 o'clock in the morning, and I hear this friend snoring, only twenty minutes after our return home from this grand adventure...Don't hesitate. Join with me, now, friend. Let's get out of bed, get dressed, grab some whole-wheat applesauce muffins, and run gregariously into the arms of this new day that are stretched out before us."
A little ole fairy tale
In her organizing of stuff in our room, Alexis came across a story I had written her one boring day in math class. I have decided to share it with all of you.
The Fairy Who Couldn’t Sing
By Elisabeth Whittaker
Once upon a time, there was a young fairy named Amelia. Amelia was a very sad young fairy because she couldn’t sing. It’s a well-known fact that all fairies have beautiful singing voices, to lull flowers to sleep with and to bring stars out from behind the clouds. But try as she might, Amelia just couldn’t sing. When she tried to sing lullabies to the flowers, they shriveled up in disgust. When she tried to call the stars out, they raised their shrill voices in protest and hurled themselves out of their beds in the sky. It was very depressing.
One night, Amelia sat crying on a mossy rock. All the other fairies hated her and she had just killed a beautiful daisy with her tone-deaf warbling. As she sat crying, two of her tears fell into the moss and from it up sprang a porcupine in a fluffy lavender dress.
“Why are you crying, Amelia?” the porcupine asked.
Amelia looked up in surprise. “Who are you?” she said.
“Why, I’m your Porcupine Godmother!” the porcupine replied. My name is Florinda.
It’s common knowledge that all children, unbeknownst to their parents, have a Fairy Godmother. What is slightly less well-known is that fairies themselves don’t have Fairy Godmothers, but Porcupine Godmothers instead. But back to our story…
“Oh, Florinda, I’m so depressed!” Amelia sobbed. “All the other fairies have beautiful singing voices and I can’t tell a harmonica from a bullfrog!”
“There, there,” Florinda said. “I’m sure you can sing beautifully!”
Amelia merely shook her head, and great tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Come now,” said Florinda. “You’re imagining things! Come, dearie, let’s hear it. Let’s hear that lovely little fairy voice!”
Amelia sniffed twice and took a deep breath. “Jeremiah was a bullfrog!” she began.
Florinda covered her ears.
“Was a good friend of mine!” Ameila sang.
The grass nearby turned brown and started to shrivel.
“I never understood a single word he said…” Amelia warbled.
Somewhere in the distance a dog howled along.
“But I helped him drink his wine! I’m singing—“
At that moment, Florinda clapped her paws over Amelia’s mouth. In the river nearby, a few fish floated to the surface.
“There’s only one thing that can help you,” Florinda said as she took her paws away from Amelia’s mouth.
“What’s that?” Amelia asked.
“Ben and Jerry’s New York Double-Fudge Chink Chocolate Ice-cream!” Florinda replied.
Amelia looked at her skeptically. “Will that help me sing better?” she asked.
“No,” Florinda replied. “But it’s the only thing that can cheer you up when you’re that hopeless!” And with that, Florinda disappeared in a cloud of purple and blue smoke.
“Oh!” Amelia cried, and stomped her little fairy foot in frustration.
Tap.
Amelia looked down. Her small fairy shoes were made of sparkling silver, and they made a satisfying “click” on the rock.
Tap. Tap. Amelia stepped again.
Tap. Tap. Shuffle-shuffle-flap-stomp-kick. Amelia’s shoes tapped out a rhythm on the rock. She spun and kicked and swayed her hips.
Shuffle-shuffle-stomp-stomp-stomp! The floating fish gasped and swam back underwater.
Flap. Flap. Flap-flap-tap! The brown grass greened and perked back up.
Tappety-tappety-tappety-kick-stomp-twirl! The flowers lifted their wilting heads and the stars peeked out from behind the clouds to see what was going on.
Stomp-stomp-stomp. Flap-shuffle-stomp! “I’m dancing!” Amelia cried.
The other fairies peered out from behind leaves and underneath flowers to watch Amelia dance. They began clapping their hands and tapping their feet. A few even whistled.
Amelia was overjoyed. Perhaps she couldn’t sing, but she could dance! She’d never felt happier in her life.
Well, that night was the beginning for Amelia, and the rest is history. Amelia went on to become one of the most successful tap-dancers of modern fairy culture, and the schools that she opened during her career are still training little fairy feet today.
So when you see the stars come out, or when you glance at the flowers nodding their heads, think of those little silver shoes tapping, and a little fairy named Amelia, who couldn’t carry a tune to save her life.
THE END
The Fairy Who Couldn’t Sing
By Elisabeth Whittaker
Once upon a time, there was a young fairy named Amelia. Amelia was a very sad young fairy because she couldn’t sing. It’s a well-known fact that all fairies have beautiful singing voices, to lull flowers to sleep with and to bring stars out from behind the clouds. But try as she might, Amelia just couldn’t sing. When she tried to sing lullabies to the flowers, they shriveled up in disgust. When she tried to call the stars out, they raised their shrill voices in protest and hurled themselves out of their beds in the sky. It was very depressing.
One night, Amelia sat crying on a mossy rock. All the other fairies hated her and she had just killed a beautiful daisy with her tone-deaf warbling. As she sat crying, two of her tears fell into the moss and from it up sprang a porcupine in a fluffy lavender dress.
“Why are you crying, Amelia?” the porcupine asked.
Amelia looked up in surprise. “Who are you?” she said.
“Why, I’m your Porcupine Godmother!” the porcupine replied. My name is Florinda.
It’s common knowledge that all children, unbeknownst to their parents, have a Fairy Godmother. What is slightly less well-known is that fairies themselves don’t have Fairy Godmothers, but Porcupine Godmothers instead. But back to our story…
“Oh, Florinda, I’m so depressed!” Amelia sobbed. “All the other fairies have beautiful singing voices and I can’t tell a harmonica from a bullfrog!”
“There, there,” Florinda said. “I’m sure you can sing beautifully!”
Amelia merely shook her head, and great tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Come now,” said Florinda. “You’re imagining things! Come, dearie, let’s hear it. Let’s hear that lovely little fairy voice!”
Amelia sniffed twice and took a deep breath. “Jeremiah was a bullfrog!” she began.
Florinda covered her ears.
“Was a good friend of mine!” Ameila sang.
The grass nearby turned brown and started to shrivel.
“I never understood a single word he said…” Amelia warbled.
Somewhere in the distance a dog howled along.
“But I helped him drink his wine! I’m singing—“
At that moment, Florinda clapped her paws over Amelia’s mouth. In the river nearby, a few fish floated to the surface.
“There’s only one thing that can help you,” Florinda said as she took her paws away from Amelia’s mouth.
“What’s that?” Amelia asked.
“Ben and Jerry’s New York Double-Fudge Chink Chocolate Ice-cream!” Florinda replied.
Amelia looked at her skeptically. “Will that help me sing better?” she asked.
“No,” Florinda replied. “But it’s the only thing that can cheer you up when you’re that hopeless!” And with that, Florinda disappeared in a cloud of purple and blue smoke.
“Oh!” Amelia cried, and stomped her little fairy foot in frustration.
Tap.
Amelia looked down. Her small fairy shoes were made of sparkling silver, and they made a satisfying “click” on the rock.
Tap. Tap. Amelia stepped again.
Tap. Tap. Shuffle-shuffle-flap-stomp-kick. Amelia’s shoes tapped out a rhythm on the rock. She spun and kicked and swayed her hips.
Shuffle-shuffle-stomp-stomp-stomp! The floating fish gasped and swam back underwater.
Flap. Flap. Flap-flap-tap! The brown grass greened and perked back up.
Tappety-tappety-tappety-kick-stomp-twirl! The flowers lifted their wilting heads and the stars peeked out from behind the clouds to see what was going on.
Stomp-stomp-stomp. Flap-shuffle-stomp! “I’m dancing!” Amelia cried.
The other fairies peered out from behind leaves and underneath flowers to watch Amelia dance. They began clapping their hands and tapping their feet. A few even whistled.
Amelia was overjoyed. Perhaps she couldn’t sing, but she could dance! She’d never felt happier in her life.
Well, that night was the beginning for Amelia, and the rest is history. Amelia went on to become one of the most successful tap-dancers of modern fairy culture, and the schools that she opened during her career are still training little fairy feet today.
So when you see the stars come out, or when you glance at the flowers nodding their heads, think of those little silver shoes tapping, and a little fairy named Amelia, who couldn’t carry a tune to save her life.
THE END
Metaphorically re-aligning mirrors (not a bad band name, that...)
I would like to steal some insightful words out of the mouth of my good friend Willie Ziebell to begin this blog. He put it into the clearest words, and I don’t know any other way to describe my present state of being. “Let me preface this by saying it’s been a strange week. You know what it’s like to climb into your car after someone else has been driving it, right? The entire freakin’ week’s been like that. Everything just doesn’t fit right. Seat’s too far forward, it’s at the wrong angle, and the steering wheel chaffs against your legs uncomfortably. Let’s not forget having to re-align all the mirrors. Metaphorically speaking, of course. So, if I promised to call you this weekend and I didn’t, it’s because my steering wheel was chaffing, metaphorically.” I have no other explanation or reasoning for the weirdness of this week, except for the fact that I'm 19.
I've discovered that being 19 is, at least for me, quite the adventure. To employ the use of another metaphor, it's like having a favorite shirt suddenly shrink in the wash and it doesn't fit you like it used to. It's tighter here than it usually is, looser there, at a funny angle over there. So you have to readjust everything and compensate with a different sweater or something. My life is a shrunken shirt. Oprah says you should redesign yourself every 5 years. Due to the ever-changing circumstances in my life, I'm urged to redesign myself approximately 5 times PER year. It's a little tiring, but more exciting than anything else.
One thing contributing to my slight disconcertedness is the fact that there has actually been a measurable increase in the hormones buzzing around this campus. I should have seen it coming, but everyone around here suddenly got either engaged or gained a significant other! So weird! Welcome to spring at BYU-Idaho. Check it out, here's a list of all those who are currently in the following categories:
ENGAGED:
Brady
Andrew
Claire
Bonnie
Aleisha
Grant
Matt
Rachel
GAINED A SIGNIFICANT OTHER:
Alexis (I think)
Brant
JD
Melissa
Rachel
Scott (related to the "I think")
Mattie (?)
Neil (?)
Ryan
Kara
I always thought it was just a funny cliche to laugh about "spring" at a church school, but au contraire. IT IS COMPLETELY 100% TRUE. There are couples every-flippin-where you go. Those without significant others around here make up the single (no pun intended) largest body of the most sexually frustrated people on the planet. Come to think of it, those WITH significant others should still be just as sexually frustrated as those without, but I'm not going to attempt figuring that one out.
(Allow me to interrupt you with a tangent, Liz. Oh, go right ahead, Liz. Thank you, Liz. I would simply like to state that I greatly enjoy the Jamie Collum album I'm listening to at the moment. There you are, carry on, Liz. Excellent point, Liz, and thank you. Oh no, thank YOU.)
By way of announcement, after much prayer, thought, fasting, and talking, I've made my plans for this summer. I am living here in Rexburg with some friends and working my bum off to make as much moolah as I possibly can.
By way of another announcement, "OUR TOWN" OPENS NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's so soon. This show seemed to have gone by faster than any other show I've ever been in throughout my entire career. (I thought about saying "throughout my life" but "career" sounded much cooler and much more proffesional.) It's also been one of the most fulfilling experiences of this year. I've learned so much, playing Mrs. Webb, and I know the learning process is far from over. I've also made some wonderful new friends in the cast. Allow me a moment of indulgence to gush about all the fabulous people I know. Lizzy, also known as Elizabeth, B, or "Shannon" is one of the funnest, most caring people I've ever known. She's so individual, and so madly in love with the theatre that she pours herself into whatever she does for it. Jesse Thorsen is another friend I've made, which is strange, because we go way back to the Medford and Central Point Stake dance days. He went to North High, and got off his mission about a year ago. So we've been hanging out in Medford Singles Ward for quite awhile, but never became very good friends until doing this show together. I thought he hated me for the longest time, but I've come to discover that Jesse Thorsen is one of the most opinionated people on the face of the planet, but I can't help but love him for it. It's just who he is, take it or leave it. He has enough redeeming qualities to endear him to me. Steven Beckman, who for the longest time I mentally called "Rick Moranis" is the most flirtatious preemie I've ever met, but also funny, considerate, and a fun guy to talk to. Add another Jason to the list, but put this one on the top, because Jason Kramer is one of the greatest people on the face of the earth! I can't even express my anger at the fact that we all just got to know this kid and he's going to be in the Brazil MTC next month. Jason is one of the funniest, most intelligent, witty and spontaneous people I've ever met, and everyone adores him. And rightly so.
I'd also like to add that I'm wearing the largest wig in theatrical history for this show. Those of you who will see this show won't recognize me. You know how Anne's hair is in "Anne of Avonlea"? Just large, and poofy, and all piled up on top of her head. That's what my wig looks like. And it's red.
I've just now decided to go for a walk. I love you all, and good night!
I've discovered that being 19 is, at least for me, quite the adventure. To employ the use of another metaphor, it's like having a favorite shirt suddenly shrink in the wash and it doesn't fit you like it used to. It's tighter here than it usually is, looser there, at a funny angle over there. So you have to readjust everything and compensate with a different sweater or something. My life is a shrunken shirt. Oprah says you should redesign yourself every 5 years. Due to the ever-changing circumstances in my life, I'm urged to redesign myself approximately 5 times PER year. It's a little tiring, but more exciting than anything else.
One thing contributing to my slight disconcertedness is the fact that there has actually been a measurable increase in the hormones buzzing around this campus. I should have seen it coming, but everyone around here suddenly got either engaged or gained a significant other! So weird! Welcome to spring at BYU-Idaho. Check it out, here's a list of all those who are currently in the following categories:
ENGAGED:
Brady
Andrew
Claire
Bonnie
Aleisha
Grant
Matt
Rachel
GAINED A SIGNIFICANT OTHER:
Alexis (I think)
Brant
JD
Melissa
Rachel
Scott (related to the "I think")
Mattie (?)
Neil (?)
Ryan
Kara
I always thought it was just a funny cliche to laugh about "spring" at a church school, but au contraire. IT IS COMPLETELY 100% TRUE. There are couples every-flippin-where you go. Those without significant others around here make up the single (no pun intended) largest body of the most sexually frustrated people on the planet. Come to think of it, those WITH significant others should still be just as sexually frustrated as those without, but I'm not going to attempt figuring that one out.
(Allow me to interrupt you with a tangent, Liz. Oh, go right ahead, Liz. Thank you, Liz. I would simply like to state that I greatly enjoy the Jamie Collum album I'm listening to at the moment. There you are, carry on, Liz. Excellent point, Liz, and thank you. Oh no, thank YOU.)
By way of announcement, after much prayer, thought, fasting, and talking, I've made my plans for this summer. I am living here in Rexburg with some friends and working my bum off to make as much moolah as I possibly can.
By way of another announcement, "OUR TOWN" OPENS NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's so soon. This show seemed to have gone by faster than any other show I've ever been in throughout my entire career. (I thought about saying "throughout my life" but "career" sounded much cooler and much more proffesional.) It's also been one of the most fulfilling experiences of this year. I've learned so much, playing Mrs. Webb, and I know the learning process is far from over. I've also made some wonderful new friends in the cast. Allow me a moment of indulgence to gush about all the fabulous people I know. Lizzy, also known as Elizabeth, B, or "Shannon" is one of the funnest, most caring people I've ever known. She's so individual, and so madly in love with the theatre that she pours herself into whatever she does for it. Jesse Thorsen is another friend I've made, which is strange, because we go way back to the Medford and Central Point Stake dance days. He went to North High, and got off his mission about a year ago. So we've been hanging out in Medford Singles Ward for quite awhile, but never became very good friends until doing this show together. I thought he hated me for the longest time, but I've come to discover that Jesse Thorsen is one of the most opinionated people on the face of the planet, but I can't help but love him for it. It's just who he is, take it or leave it. He has enough redeeming qualities to endear him to me. Steven Beckman, who for the longest time I mentally called "Rick Moranis" is the most flirtatious preemie I've ever met, but also funny, considerate, and a fun guy to talk to. Add another Jason to the list, but put this one on the top, because Jason Kramer is one of the greatest people on the face of the earth! I can't even express my anger at the fact that we all just got to know this kid and he's going to be in the Brazil MTC next month. Jason is one of the funniest, most intelligent, witty and spontaneous people I've ever met, and everyone adores him. And rightly so.
I'd also like to add that I'm wearing the largest wig in theatrical history for this show. Those of you who will see this show won't recognize me. You know how Anne's hair is in "Anne of Avonlea"? Just large, and poofy, and all piled up on top of her head. That's what my wig looks like. And it's red.
I've just now decided to go for a walk. I love you all, and good night!
Saturday, March 19, 2005
I wonder who's sneakier...Gollum or Harriet Tubman?
HELLO!!!!!!!!! Long time no blog! I would like to tell a little story to begin this little blog.
SOooooo, Jen and I were taking a little stroll home from the movie theatre tonight when in the distance we see a young man speeding toward us down the hill on his bicycle. Let me mention right here that the sidewalk we were walking on was approximately 5 feet wide. Seeing as how we are 2 people, it would seem that 1 person on a bicycle would be able to plan ahead his route to avoid those 2 people, ESPECIALLY when those 2 people move over to accomodate him. However, as he's speeding toward us, I thought to myself "He's not slowing down. And he's not moving over." Jen was thinking the same thing. And we were right! He totally didn't! He very narrowly missed us, and yelled as he whizzed by "Fetchin' A!" I have never in my life heard that particular phrase, especially never in so angry a tone of voice. He was SO MAD. As if there wasn't approximately 4 more feet of sidewalk that he could have used! People are so weird. And Jen and I laughed.
Moving on. As some of you may be aware, it's Mother's Weekend here on the campus of BYU-Idaho! Which means there are middle-aged, LDS women EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!! Not like that's completely a bad thing, but it's for shizzle a weird thing. It definitely has it's perks though. For example, today from noon to 2:oopm, the forbidden hallways and bedrooms of the boys dorms were open to all women! The origonal intent was for mothers to be able to visit their sons and see their rooms, but never having had such freedom before, the boys dorms were definitely more full of college girls than mothers. It amazes me that we could have gotten so much joy and satisfaction out of a simple thing like being allowed inside the boy's dorms. (Oh, for those of you who don't know this, the guy's dorms are set up differently from the girls', and girls aren't allowed in their hallways or rooms...we're restricted to the lounge. This is because as soon as you take one step into the guy's hallways or rooms, you have no choice but to make babies. It just hits you and you can't control it, unless it's between noon and 2pm on the Saturday of Mother's Weekend, during which time, that particular force of nature is temporarily shut off.) For the first few minutes I still felt like brimstone awaited me as soon as I walked through the forbidden back door, but that soon melted away and we just had fun running around and having the boys show us around. And 98% of the fun was just because we were doing something we would normally be put on probation for. Or thrust down to hell for. Or some combination of the two.
I've noticed a strange thing about mothers this weekend. Watching everyone walk around campus, you can totally pick out who's mother is whose. THEY ALL LOOK SO MUCH ALIKE! Not that every mother looks like every other mother, but mothers and daughters and mothers and sons are so easy to pair up. I know that's actually common, but I guess I just didn't realize how common.
There's another convenience to Mother's Weekend...it's sort of got an inconvenience within it, but that's getting complicated, so let me start at the beginning where I started to start before I got ahead of myself. (That sentence was really complicated.) My point is this. I like the fact that boys have their mothers visiting, because then you get the satisfaction of watching them treat their mothers well. Which almost all of them do. And there's also just the satisfaction of watching how your guy friends treat their mothers and analyzing it. For example, my awesome friend Casey proved today that he's especially awesome, because he held the door open for his mother today. And here's the kicker...HE DID IT EVEN WHEN HE DIDN'T KNOW THAT ANYONE WAS WATCHING. Which makes him even awesomer, because a boy treating his mother well for the sake of impressing other people is almost worse than him not treating his mother well at all.
There is also the definite perk of mothers being kind and motherly and buying your roomates lots of food and toilet paper! I like that perk. (It didn't occur to me until about 10 minutes ago when my roomate and her mom walked into the room with about 12 grocery bags.) Of course, most of it is for my roomate and not me, but you can't help but feel blessed and wealthy and excited just having all that in your house.
I just now attempted to continue writing, but it has just occured to me that my grasp of the human language slowly disintegrates as it gets later and later at night. I'm not going to blog anymore tonite. Bona sera.
SOooooo, Jen and I were taking a little stroll home from the movie theatre tonight when in the distance we see a young man speeding toward us down the hill on his bicycle. Let me mention right here that the sidewalk we were walking on was approximately 5 feet wide. Seeing as how we are 2 people, it would seem that 1 person on a bicycle would be able to plan ahead his route to avoid those 2 people, ESPECIALLY when those 2 people move over to accomodate him. However, as he's speeding toward us, I thought to myself "He's not slowing down. And he's not moving over." Jen was thinking the same thing. And we were right! He totally didn't! He very narrowly missed us, and yelled as he whizzed by "Fetchin' A!" I have never in my life heard that particular phrase, especially never in so angry a tone of voice. He was SO MAD. As if there wasn't approximately 4 more feet of sidewalk that he could have used! People are so weird. And Jen and I laughed.
Moving on. As some of you may be aware, it's Mother's Weekend here on the campus of BYU-Idaho! Which means there are middle-aged, LDS women EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!! Not like that's completely a bad thing, but it's for shizzle a weird thing. It definitely has it's perks though. For example, today from noon to 2:oopm, the forbidden hallways and bedrooms of the boys dorms were open to all women! The origonal intent was for mothers to be able to visit their sons and see their rooms, but never having had such freedom before, the boys dorms were definitely more full of college girls than mothers. It amazes me that we could have gotten so much joy and satisfaction out of a simple thing like being allowed inside the boy's dorms. (Oh, for those of you who don't know this, the guy's dorms are set up differently from the girls', and girls aren't allowed in their hallways or rooms...we're restricted to the lounge. This is because as soon as you take one step into the guy's hallways or rooms, you have no choice but to make babies. It just hits you and you can't control it, unless it's between noon and 2pm on the Saturday of Mother's Weekend, during which time, that particular force of nature is temporarily shut off.) For the first few minutes I still felt like brimstone awaited me as soon as I walked through the forbidden back door, but that soon melted away and we just had fun running around and having the boys show us around. And 98% of the fun was just because we were doing something we would normally be put on probation for. Or thrust down to hell for. Or some combination of the two.
I've noticed a strange thing about mothers this weekend. Watching everyone walk around campus, you can totally pick out who's mother is whose. THEY ALL LOOK SO MUCH ALIKE! Not that every mother looks like every other mother, but mothers and daughters and mothers and sons are so easy to pair up. I know that's actually common, but I guess I just didn't realize how common.
There's another convenience to Mother's Weekend...it's sort of got an inconvenience within it, but that's getting complicated, so let me start at the beginning where I started to start before I got ahead of myself. (That sentence was really complicated.) My point is this. I like the fact that boys have their mothers visiting, because then you get the satisfaction of watching them treat their mothers well. Which almost all of them do. And there's also just the satisfaction of watching how your guy friends treat their mothers and analyzing it. For example, my awesome friend Casey proved today that he's especially awesome, because he held the door open for his mother today. And here's the kicker...HE DID IT EVEN WHEN HE DIDN'T KNOW THAT ANYONE WAS WATCHING. Which makes him even awesomer, because a boy treating his mother well for the sake of impressing other people is almost worse than him not treating his mother well at all.
There is also the definite perk of mothers being kind and motherly and buying your roomates lots of food and toilet paper! I like that perk. (It didn't occur to me until about 10 minutes ago when my roomate and her mom walked into the room with about 12 grocery bags.) Of course, most of it is for my roomate and not me, but you can't help but feel blessed and wealthy and excited just having all that in your house.
I just now attempted to continue writing, but it has just occured to me that my grasp of the human language slowly disintegrates as it gets later and later at night. I'm not going to blog anymore tonite. Bona sera.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)