Texts Out of Context

I have a blog-friend who does a series called "Texts Out of Context." I thought it was a great idea, so I thought I'd join in the fun. Here are a few texts from my phone's inbox and outbox of late, with no accompanying explanations.


"Which hose?"

"Its a little...well there's a pelvic examination on stage."

"Thanks Uncle Susan!"
(a few seconds later)
"I mean Liz."

"Arrrrlright. Cabloon me bloomers and fiddle me anchors!"

"I bought some corn from a pirate the other day. It was only a buck an ear."

"You are like a gigantic party in the sky."

"I don't often remember my dreams, but when I do, I remember what the cartoon sheep said." 

"Totally. It's like being naked."

"How is student teaching? Are you teaching drama? Will I like being a teacher? HAVE I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE!?!?"

"I will send you something over the internets tonight when I get home from work that will take your mind off your stupid uterus."

"Win the lottery. Invent something. Rob a bank."

"Lorayne...why? Why are you awake?"

"Was I suffering from amnesia and lost inside an vast underground cavern with magical pokemon like creatures? Cause if so, we had the same dream! - Miss you too, Betty Lou."

"Hey! I love ya! Hope you're doing yoga!"

"Are you zombie walking even in your illness?"

"Ireland will never be free until I can marry my brother."

"Call me back! Or bring duct tape! Just to patch the hole so we can get home."

"Would you...kiss a moose?"

"We accept this proposition. With joy."

"I just used a big marker to grade their tests. Making those big slash marks made me feel a little better. Immature maybe. But it helped."

"Cause there aren't always cops around?"

"This is important. IS YOUR MOM IN TOWN?"

"Yes indeed. The child sleepeth."

"I might have. I don't remember the details. You always have the coolest dreams. Remember that one where sheep were singing about luggage?"

"Oh I am a simple cow living a simple life but sometimes I feel exploited."