The Winter Blues

The weather is a problem.

Both functionally and emotionally.

It's at this point in the year when I begin thinking desperate thoughts--I mentally "check out" of school (which is not an option this semester, since I'm the teacher), I look up flights to tropical islands, I "clean the house" and end up throwing away half of my belongings. I have a lot of free time nowadays, and I keep thinking of things to do, and then not doing them because the weather is gross, and because we don't have a car.

And, if I'm honest, I also don't do these things because I'M kind of gross. There's both a meeting and a concert going on tonight, but when the weather is all cold and wet, my philosophy is "Why get dressed?" So I'm still in glasses and pajamas and yesterday's underwear. My hair is crazy and I have zit cream on my face. And it's entirely within my power to clean myself up and get out of here, and it might even be good for me, but...

I dunno, I'd rather mope? And I kinda don't want to go do those things without my husband. Just 'cause I like him. And I'm feeling introverted and stuff.

I guess what I'm really saying is, when you have a Playmill summer to look forward to, it's real difficult to live in the moment. I was looking through old blog entries a few days ago, and stumbled on this gem from 2006:

Since coming up to West Yellowstone, Montana
1 Trips to the E.R. since rehearsals began
79 Approximate hours spent in rehearsal
2 Times I've watched Old Faithful go off
9 Times I've cried (happy, sad, in character, and out of character)
8,462 Times I've laughed
1 Compliment I've received that I will treasure forever
2 Parental lectures received since moving to Montana
6 Times I've listened to the song "Come On, Eileen"
4 Cast members that are currently ill
9 Moments I've wondered about a cast member's sexuality
14 Number of times I've fallen while attempting a partnered cartwheel flip
1 Number of times Ben has dropped me on my head while we were attempting said cartwheel flip
0 Times Curtis and I have done our jive choreography correctly
8 Times I've done the "Go Go Joe" choreography correctly
0 Times I've done the "Go Go Joe" choreography correctly while being able to breathe and/or sing
3.1 Harry Potter books I've re-read
7 Number of ferral cats caught in the theatre and have now been sent home to Jesus
8 Times I have been down-right astounded by things that the Merrill children have said
6 Average number of times per day that I sing a high G above the octave
9,742 Number of times I have thought of the wonderful people that surround me and how much I miss those that I'm not with every day right now

It's a good glimpse into what my first Playmill experience was like, and I can't wait to see what this coming summer has in store.

Even though this is what things look like in West Yellowstone right now:

But when you're surrounded by friends, when you're singing, dancing, acting, and occasionally exploring the National Park that you live 1 block away from, it's hard to feel mopey.

I'm just in a funk. A winter funk.

Maybe I'll go on a walk after all. Just to spite you, winter.