The Quotebook, Elementary School Edition

I work at an elementary school, and it's true...kids DO say the darnedest things. Here are a few gems from the last few months.

"We are not a secret society. We are a society with secrets." - 7th grader, overheard in the lunchroom

Principal: Your hair is looking wonderfully frosted, D!
D (2nd grader): Don't talk about my head that way! I am not a cupcake!

2nd grader 1: I'm going to see my best friend that I just met yesterday at the library!
2nd grader 2: By yourself?! Have fun getting kidnapped.

1st grader: What time until lunch?
Me: About 25 minutes.
1st grader: What time until...butt cheeks land? (hysterical laughter)

Kindergarten teacher: Okay, boys and girls! I'm going to have Miss Liz come into our classroom while I go to the bathroom.
Kindergartner: Okay, but did we really need to know that?

1st grader: You're grounded!
Me: Grounded!? For how long?
1st grader: For a really long time. Until you're old! Until you're 17!

"Do you think old ladies are stronger in Minnesota?" - 1st grader

Me: (finishing a phone call)
1st grader: Was that your husband?
Me: No, that was my dad.
1st grader: You have one of those TOO?!

"Is it made of squares? I like it when things are made of squares." - 4th grader

"I love the smell of pizza victory!" - 1st grader

Kindergartner: Why did you wear that shirt today?
Kindergarten teacher: Oh, just because I like it.
Kindergartner: (expressing friendly concern) Well, you kind of look like a zebra.