"That doesn't say much for your love life now, does it?"

The above is a wonderful discovery of one of the coolest shirts ever! (Jen, I would like you to pay particular attention to the t-shirt in the top right-hand corner on that website...)
The above quote is something my friend Tim said to me at work today while we were stocking cleaning supplies. I was attempting to put the cap back on an aerosol can of Lysol, but because I am intelligent but not very coordinated, I was having a little difficulty. Everytime I tried to get the cap back on, it would spray everywhere. At one point, I didn't realize where the can was pointing and managed to spray some disinfectant into my mouth. So I'm coughing and spitting and laughing, and meanwhile my co-worker is just watching with amusement. The following is our conversation:

LIZ: GAH! *pphhttt*ppht* I got it in my MOUTH!

TIM: Well, your tongue is now disinfected.

LIZ: Yeah, it's now free of (reading Lysol can label) bacteria, viruses, mold and mildew.

TIM: Mold on your tongue? That doesn't say much for your love life now, does it?

At that point, I dropped the can of Lysol and just sat on the floor and laughed. At least my tongue has never been bruised.

So, we went and saw War of the Worlds tonight. We decided it should be a girls night out, but when we got there and got into the movie, we thought to ourselves "Why didn't we bring boys to cling to in the suspense?" In spite of the lack of boys, the movie was AWESOME. I loved it. It had its flaws, like any movie does, but given the fact that it was origonally a book, I thought it was adapted very well. I highly recommend it. Only make sure you bring a member of the opposite sex to cling to during suspenseful parts. Unless of course, you want an objective, non-distracted movie-viewing experience.
Anyway, not much to blog about this evening, so I leave you with this fine gem of knowledge and wisdom:

"Service is like peeing your pants...everyone else notices, but you're the only one who gets that warm feeling."

The State vs. Elisabeth Whittaker, August 4th, 2005...

An ode to Henry Winkler! Long live the Fonz. You rock, dude.
Today's subject: humorous folders. Whilst stocking school supplies at Walmart yesterday, I came upon some "attitude folders," on sale just in time for back to school. They were supposed to be all popular and witty in a sassy sort of way, but they were so random that they just came off as completely ridiculous. Here are a few of the slogans written on them:

"You make me look good!"

"What happened to recess?"

"Save the humans"

and my absolute favorite:
"Lather. Rinse. Repeat."

Fabulous! I'm seriously contemplating purchasing one. Just for the sheer idiocy of it.
Back to the Fonz, I would also like to include in this entry a story about my friends Ben, Christian, and JD. They were on a road-trip a couple summers ago, and all three of them had been sitting in the car for several hours. Nature was calling each of them pretty loudly, but by the time they got to a gas station to go, they had been holding it for so long that they could hardly see straight. When they got to the bathroom, it was locked and in use. They knocked and someone said "Just a minute." They stood and waited for what felt to them like substantially longer than a minute. Finally, in their impatience, they all three of them started banging on the door. The guy finally opened the door, and to the shock of all three of them, "the guy" was HENRY WINKLER. Ben, Christian, and JD all stood speechless and stared at him. The Fonz was looking funny at them, probably because they were all staring at him after banging on the bathroom door. Given the circumstances, I'm surprised they didn't wet themselves. I would have without a doubt.

Und she hopinzee skipenzee tru de voodsen!

Today was a bad day at work, so I decided to combine my current pessimism about jobs with a little humor to cheer me up. The result is this picture for today's blog. I found this poster on a rather-funny-in-a-morbid-dry-sort-of-way website. I invite you to check it out.
So, last night was another excursion up to the Playmill to see "The Foreigner," which was absolutely fabulous. It's a great script, although its a little slow at first, but its a show I would love to direct for a high school one day. There's a lot of room for whackiness in it. JD and Christian played bad guys, and Christian was pretty frightening, but JD made me want to CRY, he was so creepy! He played a bad guy disguised as a preacher, and he has this great part toward the end when he gets REALLY angry and yells and throws chairs and girls around. Just goes to prove what a fabulous actor he is. (JD Taylor, you can deny it all you want, and say "I really don't know what I'm doing" or "I'm just messing around" all you want, but YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB IN THAT SHOW. Too bad you don't know this blog exists and probably won't read the loving chastisement I just directed to you.) For the pre-show, the 'Mill kids performed a 40's style radio show, which was AWESOME! It featured Andrews sisters style singing ads, a tap number (as in Cameron using the shoes on a countertop and making them tap with his hands), a Barbershop quartet which made me drool, and much more, all written and put together by Ben Parkes. If any of you ever get the chance, totally go up to the Playmill. Preferably this summer, because all my friends are working up there right now, but its guarenteed to be great no matter what.
Ben told us this great story when we were up there on Saturday night. We saw "The Secret Garden," which was good. A little rough, but it was only the 4th time they performed it after only 2 weeks of rehearsal. Anyway, the kid who plays Colin is a 12-year-old boy named Peter Christman. Ben's in the chorus for "Secret Garden," and on opening night of that show, he passed through the dressing room shortly before curtain. Peter was "primping" in the mirror (which is funny in and of itself), so Ben said "Hey good luck tonight." Peter smiled and replied in a somewhat snobby tone of voice "Yeah, good luck to you too...in your tiny part." Ben was so shocked and amused that he just stood there. Peter then turned away from the mirror to face everyone in the room and said "How do I look?" HA! What a whacky kid! (For those of you somewhat familiar with BYU-I, notice his last name...yeah, that would be Jason "Converses" Christman's little brother. Or I should now say "Elder Christman." Apparently whackiness runs in the family.)
On a closing note, points to whoever figured out what the title of this entry is (in normal English) on the first try. Or maybe its easier than I think it is. Anyway...in real closing, I have only this to say:

"You can dance if you want to! You can leave your pants behind!"
(The above is sung in a British accent..."You can dance! You can dance! Everybody take off your pants!")

"You're basically a horrible person, but deep down inside, there's a soft...somethin'..." -Jason Cramer

I don't have much to blog about today, but I would like to say 3 things:
#1) Whoever you are, wherever you are, I send many thanks and a heartful of tearful gratitude to "a friend."
#2) I love this picture. I finally figured out where I recognized the actor who played Zaphod from...he also plays "Guy" in "Galaxy Quest."
#3) What do you say to people when they hiccup? I always feel like I should say something equivalent to "bless you" but that's for sneezing and when I try to disregard that fact and say "bless you" anyway, it always comes off...awkward.

Big people are harder to kidnap...

Two blogs in one day. Whoopee! (That was for you, Jason Space-Station Cramer. Oh, and Jesse too.)
So, I seem to be in a somewhat literary mood at the moment, or rather today in general. This mood seems to be hitting me with considerable force tonight, mainly because I just spent the last while browsing the web-pages and reading the writings and rantings of some particularly witty friends. Hax and Willie, you are my heroes. Among other quotables, I found the following gems to be especially genius:

"Utensils are overrated. When starving kids in third-world countries eat ramen, do they eat it with a fork? I think not. Or at least they wouldn't, if they had the ramen. 'Coz I guess they wouldn't be starving if they had ramen."
--Willie

"Why is it always a deer caught in headlights? Why isn't the deer caught in the moonlight, or maybe a net? We need more similes regarding deer. I'm pretty partial to the newly-coined phrase "like a deer in the blender."
--Willie

"I apolagize. If I could spell apoligize it might be worth more, but beggars can't be choosers. Not that you're a begger or if you were you would be begging for apoligies, more like money or food, but if apoligies were food, I'd be serving you Prime Rib, now If I offered that kind of apology to a beggar, he'd probably just spit on me for not giving him the actual prime rib..."
--Hayley

"No the deal is not like THREE BARS OF GOLD for some magic beans, It's more like a COW THAT CANNOT EVEN GIVE MILK AND HAS NO MEAT ON ITS BONES for MAGICAL BEANS THAT CAN REACH INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION!!! If you make this trade, you will eventually risk your life, but come out with riches and courage, not to mention self-worth. So say yes to romantic comedies."
--Hayley

To read more of the correspondence between Willie and Hayley, I invite you to check out Hax's page. (See links on the right.) You can also check out Willie's page, "Journalism Blues." I'm your number one fan. High-five. From there you can get to the e-mail conversations of the two.
Ah, screw it, click here:
Letters Between Hax and Willie
More Letters Between Hax and Willie
Yet More Letters Between Hax and Willie
But check out both their sites anyway.

So, I had a virgin strawberry daquiri spewed in my face this evening. It was probably one of the more fabulous experiences of my short life. I haven't laughed that hard in many a moon. And it was one of those times when you laugh hysterically, and then right when you start to get control of yourself, you notice that the girl who just spewed virgin strawberry daquiri all over your face is still laughing, but with a somewhat panicked look because she's got daquiri coming out of her nose. Who needs alcohol. I've got Patrice Strate.

When life gets topsy-turvy, find your solace in a slide trombone!

Hello all! I'd like to dedicate the first part of this blog to a driving force in my life. MUSIC. I have a vague recollection of writing an entry like this before, but its spinning around in my mind again, so I shall blog about it again! Plus, I wanted a good reason to post this fabulous picture of Jesse.
Music is an addiction...my drug of choice. I've never been high, but I've listened to some amazing music, and I imagine that's what it feels like. (I also took 200mg of caffeine pills on a long drive once...an experience I have never done before and will never do again. I imagine that's like being high too. With a hangover afterwards. Music is a healthier high. Back to the subject on hand!) Something happens to me when I hear good music. When I hear a powerful opera, I can't help but close my eyes and let it wash over me, tasting and feeling the music in every part of me. When I hear a good rock solo on an electric guitar, its like I'm in a Baptist church, and I can't help it, something in me starts to go a little bit crazy and I start dancing or smiling or both! I'm in love with music. The best part is that there's so much of it in the world! You could discover a new group or singer every single day of your life, and still never get through them all if you lived to be 103 years old. Ah, music!
I'd like to dedicate the 2nd part of this blog to a person. This is a little weird, because he is one of the dozens of amazing people in my life, but since he's not around this summer I've been having withdrawals. He also doesn't know that I'm writing this.
James Devin Robert Lee Taylor is one of the funnest, most considerate, greatest people I know. More fondly known by his friends and acquaintances as JD, that kid inspires me more than he knows. He's so much fun to be around...I haven't had a good JD fix in a while, and I didn't realize how much I needed those until I don't get them anymore.
I have this memory from "Our Town" rehearsals...it's one of those memories that doesn't seem very significant but sticks with you for a long time. It was a Saturday morning, and we were getting near opening. Everyone was running around doing tech stuff...trying on costumes, moving set peices, running lines. Our sound guy, Jeff, was trying to adjust levels on the system, and so he had me stand in the center of the stage and talk. After a little while, JD jumped onstage with me, a half-eaten sandwich in hand, and the two of us started singing and rapping and talking for Jeff. It was all of it complete nonsense and I don't remember much of it now, but it was genius. A lot of it was an ode to Jeff in song form. He's such a whacky guy, and follows whatever instincts hit him, which means he's totally spontaneous, and that he climbs things a lot. The guy's an amazing performer, but if you tell him so, he'll thank you graciously but deny that he's anywhere near as talented as you claim. I love hanging out with him, and working with him onstage is a ton of fun and really fulfilling. What an amazing person. He's definitely in the top ten percent of humanity in my book. JD, wherever you are and whatever you're doing (which I'm 99% sure is in West Yellowstone doing a show for Playmill), I miss you and think you're the cream of the crop. I have one thing to say to you: "I wanta hear da proposition from the duck-pant boy!" ("Tiki tiki!")

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." -Fred Allen

There is an increasingly startling attitude to be found in the people surrounding me in regards to the concept of fame.
The other day, I was discussing movie directors with a co-worker of mine. He asked me which director I would work with if I had a choice. (He's one of those people who claims to be a thespian, and yet never auditions for anything or even attends any shows, so I think my reaction to what he said next has a lot to do with the fact that I don't like him much anyway.) When he asked me, I replied "Tim Burton." He smiled and nodded and said "Oh, yeah, Tim? Everyone says he's REALLY great to work with."
Now, I don't doubt that many people HAVE enjoyed working with Tim Burton. But in my head, I was thinking "What the heck do you think you're talking about? You are not on a first-name basis with TIM BURTON. You have never worked with him. You have never known anyone who HAS worked with him. I doubt you even know anyone who knows someone who's worked with him. So why are you talking idiotically about the whole stupid business?"
Don't misunderstand my tone. I don't claim to know anyone who knows anyone who's worked with Tim Burton. I've hung out with Jon Peter Lewis of American Idol "fame." I didn't know who he was the first few times. I've spent evenings hanging out with Ryan Wood, "well-known" for his stellar performance in "The Work and the Glory". ("I like pie...") But if I were to walk into a crowded party and casually say "Oh, we were at Ryan Wood's house the other day and..." I doubt anyone would even raise an eyebrow. Furthermore, I don't know that either of those above-mentioned persons know MY first name.
What an idiotic co-worker of mine.
What is cool is to hear stories about celebrities that ARE real, and interesting. I knew someone who dated jim Carey in college, before he was, you know, "Jim Carey." She said he hasn't changed a bit, and this was years ago. THOSE are fun stories.
SO, now is the time to share yours! The comments board for this blog is now to become a forum for telling of brushes with fame!

Ten points for style, but minus several million for good thinking...you're too gorgeous, baby, you're drivin' me crazy.

Hello all! Tis the weekend! And although I work both tomorrow AND sunday, there's something about a Friday night...I don't know what it is, but whatever it is, it makes Friday night the best time of the week.
Tonight, we're having a girls-only slumber party at Mom's (a.k.a. Cindy), to have fun and eat unhealthily and be girls and cheer Cindy up. The whole concept is a little weird, because "Mom's" house is also Brant's house, so I don't know where he's gonna be, but he's not the reason we're having this shin-dig. Cindy's been stressed out a lot lately; she's worried about her boys, not to mention all of us the rest of her kids. And she's also pretty weird. Apparently the best thing to cheer her up is having a handful of theatre kids invade her house.
I would like to dedicate this blog to "Mom." Cindy, Brant's mother, has somehow become a mother to all of us. She's a cool lady. She gets stressed out sometimes, because she doesn't know when she should be Mom and when she shouldn't, but no matter how much she worries, she always manages to find the right balance.
She knows when to hug us (which is all the time), when to laugh with us, when to let us cry, when to smack us upside the head, when to be angry with us, when to let us be angry and then help us see the voice of reason.
Although we're all in our 20's (well, me almost), its really good to have someone close by to be a Mom when we need it. She trusts us to make our own decisions, but lovingly lets us know when we're being stupid.
Here's the best part: she elected to be Mom of her own accord. I'd hate to think we're burdening this poor amazing woman with a billion theatre kids as adopted children. There's just something so caring and forgiving and accepting in her nature that she just becomes mother.
I don't think that woman knows how amazing she is, and how much we all love her. I hope and pray that someday we can show her how much she means to us, and what a guiding, loving influence she is in our lives. I love you, Cindy!

"Ignorance is bliss, my friend. Don't burden yourself with the secrets of scary people." -Batman Begins

I've decided to start adding photos to my blogs...I felt this one was appropriate, considering the content of this entry.
Ah, the joy of having days off from work! Yesterday was spent...come to think of it, I don't remember too much of what I did yesterday. As a matter of fact, I just remember being really bored for most of yesterday. I did some rearranging around the house and then spent the next half a dozen hours doing things like watching TV, polishing thumbtacks and staring into the inner workings of a bouncy ball. That last thing I probably would have done for several hours, had I not been rescued by a phone call after 15 minutes or so. Here's a fun coincidence...everyone else was out somewhere, so I was sitting on the couch, bouncy ball in hand, when my good friend Ben called me and asked what I was doing right then. When I replied "Absolutely NOTHING," he said good, he's in Rexburg, and would I like to go see "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" with him? After careful consideration of all of my other options, I decided that it would be most advantageous to favor Ben with my presence. Actually, that's a lie, I just said yes and ran to get ready to get out of the house. As I was getting ready, my roomate Sarah calls me and says "Hey, we're going to go see 'Hitchhiker's" do you want to come?" I said sure, Ben's on his way to get me right now. She said "BEN'S HERE?" Apparently, Sarah and the girls had no idea that all the Playmill kids were in town, and that all of them were going to see the movie. Weird, huh? Rexburg is too small. So, anyway, we all watched Hitchhiker's together, which was wonderful. Douglas Adams...a man of pure genius. Although Mindy fell asleep...she said it "just wasn't her kind of movie." I don't get it. It's FABULOUS! Oh, well, I guess we can't all be cult followers; then there wouldn't be anything distinguishing about it. Having just re-read the book recently, I noticed so many more things that they included! And not only that, but I finally figured out where I recognized the actor who played Zaphod Beeblebrox from. It's the hair, it threw me off. But with a little help from IMDB, I realized that he also played Guy in "Galaxy Quest." Ha-HA! I love it when I figure these things out.
Today was spent eating, sleeping, talking, and watching "Batman Begins," which I really enjoyed, although they could have panned out on the fight scenes a little more. But Christian Bale actually had some nice moments, and for once in his career, he managed to pull off a decent screen-kiss. Not a bad bulking up for the role either.
Moving on, while watching "Generations" the other night, I was suddenly jolted back into my childhood memories by one word. Let's see if this rings a bell with anyone else...TRIBBLES. I totally forgot about tribbles! I just forgot they existed, completely forgot about that great "Trouble With Tribbles" Star Trek! And then the other one when they go back to it! Now that I remember, the whole world looks a little friendlier. Of course, now it also means I've got to track someone down who owns it so that I can borrow and watch. In the meantime, I may settle for "Fern Gully," which I found sitting in our movie collection here. Ah, childhood. Californian, early 90's, ultra-liberal childhood.
Anyway, now that I've got the bowl rolling, I invite you all to take a little meander down memory lane. See if you can describe your childhood in 4 words. I sort of already just did that with mine, but here, let me give you an example...my childhood in 4 words would be: library, pavement, imagination, and bunkbed. Childhood was pretty fun.
Although there are advantages to being older...going to movies with boys for example, even if there are tons of other people there. =)

RRRRrrrexburg, Id-a-ho, eighteen-seventy-eight-HUA!

It occured to me today at work (yes, I know it's Sunday, and I don't like it, but I didn't have a choice), that Wal*mart has its own language. Being a member of the ICS team, like I am, means that you get to use the lingo ALL the time. For example, a typical morning's instructions might sound like this:

"You're in chemicals. Find a Telxon and pick-list the bin and throw anything that will go. Riser what you can, but any overstock put on a pallet and we'll put it on the steel. Make sure to fill the end-cap and four-way with the features, but only after the home is full, and don't you dare stuff the mod, we've got some new ones coming in, so that 8-foot is going to be re-done. We have a 14-peice today, so we've got to clear out in time to drop pallets and pull the chain out before lunch. Do chemicals until 15 and then set up. If you have time left over, work the riser and do some facing. You're going to be either throwing the truck or running the chain today, so you know."

For the first couple of days you feel like an idiot because everyone's talking like that and none of it means a thing to you. It's like if they say that, as a new employee all you hear is:

"You're...blah blah blah blah....lunch....blah blah blah blah....work."

For some reason, not many members of ICS are very good at explaining things. You can only learn by saying "Wait, stop, do what?" and then blunder along until you make a mistake you can learn from. But then again, I suppose that statement is true about life in general.

ARE YOU NERDS??????!!!!!!!!!

Answers to the great test of geekiness!

#1) Stephen Hawking

#2) Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

#3) Link

#4) Data (the episode when he gets an emotion chip...definitely one of the best)

#5) Anglo-Saxon, also known as Old English

#6) Bean

#7) Patricia C. Wrede

#8) Jane Yolen and Robin McKinley

#9) "Pascal's Great Wager" is the idea that human beings don't have any sure way of knowing absolute truth. Pascal says that no matter how strong your beliefs or what your experiences, you are still taking a chance that you might be wrong about you religion.

#10) The Dungeonmaster

Yea!
Beckah, I AM SO HAPPY YOU HEARD THAT GUY'S ACCEPTANCE SPEECH AT THE TONY'S! Did you also get a chance to see the scene from "The Spelling Bee"? Genius. Pure genius. Let's go to New York.
Jen, I love you. You are nerdy too, if in a different feild.
Willie, I WANT TO COME VISIT SO BAD! I'm trying to find a way!

I love you all, and now I'm going to go...marry someone.