And considering what is more...

From our recent run of Waiting for Godot. Thanks to Camilla for helping with the filmage. And I'll just say right now that with very few exceptions (for reasons unknown), this monologue is word-for-word from the script we worked with.

That's right. I memorized this bugger.

(Also, isn't that the greatest wig you've ever seen?! Jacob said I looked like Lady Gaga.)

Missionary Jacob Joy

An old missionary companion of Jacob's sent this video our way recently...it's of the two of them, and some music, and some lampshades. And it reminded me of why I married my Jacob. He's a delight to my own goofy heart.

Stay-at-home-parents vs. Working parents

I have several good friends right now who are either new mothers or going to be mothers any day now. I'm not a mother myself, but having worked as a nanny and a baby-sitter before, and having spent two summers in the nursery at Church, I can appreciate this. This is for anyone who may still be under the impression that being a stay-at-home-mom is an easy job.

Stay-At-Home vs. Working Parents: Questions to help spouses bridge the communication gap
By Heather Rigby
via Babble.com

My husband always asks how my day went. And he really wants to know. He’s nice like that. As we slowly push the girls around in the stroller, he shares what went right during his day at the office, and I share funny things the kids said. On bad days we vent stresses and offer support and advice.

But lately I can’t help wondering if when I mention that my day was sort of stressful, he mentally thinks, “Yeah, my days are like that too.” Because I really don’t think that our days have the same sort of stresses.

When you decide to become a stay-at-home parent, you enter into a different realm — one ruled by illogical two-year-old dictators, school schedules, and choosing the correct color yogurt. As much as I can explain this to my husband, I don’t know that I’m getting through. Now I’ve done the next best thing: creating a list of questions that will help him and other office-bound parents gauge how (cough, cough) similar their days are to ours.

1. When you walked into work this morning and pleasantly greeted your co-worker Jim, was his first reaction to scream “NO! WANT JASON!" followed by an office supply being thrown at you?

2. Has a colleague ever climbed up on your lap while you were using your computer and slammed the keyboard with both fists until the up arrow no longer worked?

3. Do you have to lock yourself in the supply closet or bathroom on a regular basis in order to make phone calls?

4. Did you finish a complete thought at any time during the day?

5. When you went out to lunch with your fellow workers, did you have to pack a diaper/juice/extra outfit for them? Did you have to wipe their faces? Smile an apology and leave an extra tip for the waiter on their behalf?

6. When a co-worker needed you for something, did she sit at her desk with her head tilted back toward the ceiling and repeatedly scream “SEAN! SEEEEANNNN! SEAAAAAAN!” until you came to find him?

7. When you needed a specific colleague, did you search all over for him, only to finally find him giggling in the cabinet under the sink? Did you also find six pairs of your church shoes under there with him?

8. Have you had to come to an associate’s aid because she fell off her desk after trying to climb on top of it using a rolling chair?

9. When you reached for the report a co-worker was handing you, did he snatch them away at the last second and scream “MINE!” while shoving you backwards?

10. Does your colleague lift up her shirt and pick things out of her belly button every time she comes over to ask a question?

11. While you are using the restroom, do various co-workers come in the stall and ask you to settle a disagreement or open a packet of fruit snacks?

12. During a board meeting when everyone is present, do you notice a smell and then have to check all your colleagues’ pants to locate it? In fact, at ANY point in your day do you have to deal with another person's feces?

If the answer to most of these questions is no, it’s a safe bet to assume you’re in an office. That said, if your answer to most of these questions is yes, and you know you’re in an office, it’s safe to assume you might need a new job.

A list of things

Things I don't like very much:
- Hay fever
- The closest Barnes and Noble being half an hour away (although this is probably better for our bank account)
- Realizing on a Sunday that every single thing you can think of to make/eat calls for milk, and not having any in the house

Things I don't understand (which doesn't mean I dislike them...I just don't get it):
- Rustic farm equipment used for front yard decorations (Like, wagon wheels in the flower beds and stuff. It looks odd to me.)
- Why people sometimes have both an iPod AND an iPhone. Isn't the whole point to have everything in one device?
- Why restaurants in college towns would turn the fryer off at 10:30 on a Saturday night

Things I love:
- Netflix Instant Viewing
- Steak
- Emails telling me I've recently won/inherited/been asked to transfer an enormous amount of money. Like this one, which is probably the best one I've ever received. I've kept it in my inbox for like two months because it cracks me up. Everything is as it was in the original email...spelling, grammar, etc.

Subject: PLEASE ASSIST FOR HUMANITY SAKE

Dear Beloved,

First, I must apologize to you for using this medium to communicate to you about this project I am the above named person from Cardiff, Wales I was married to Mr. Ronald Rich who worked with the British embassy in Kuwait for nine years before he died in March, 2007.We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $8.5Million (Eight Million five hundred thousand U.S. Dollars) in cash with a security company in London.Presently, this money is still with the security company , my doctor told me that I would not last for the next three weeks due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke. [This line is probably my favorite part.]

Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to cancer research centers. I am therefore looking for any individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct. The person must also donate to orphanages, Research centers and widows propagating the word [another favorite line], I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money. I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an unjust manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going.

I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health and the presence of my husbands relatives around me always as they are very greedy and only hope that i die soon to enable them claim the rest of my husbands wealth hence I don’t want them to know about this development,by his grace, all things are possible. As soon as i receive your reply I shall give you the contact of an attorney who would help you for the immediate release of the funds to you in cash or by telegraphic wire transfer.I will also issue a letter of authority that will empower you as the new beneficiary of this fund.Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein.

Hope to hear from you soon through my private ------- and be assured that it will not take more than 7 working days for you to receive the funds from the date you acknowledge receipt of this mail.

Remain Blessed,
Elizabeth Rich.

I want to contact this person and tell them they should write for television.

(Also, here's a tip: My dad works at an embassy, and he is not a millionaire. Very few embassy workers are.)

If it's not on facebook, it didn't happen

If I don't click "Like," will the world still believe that I really DO love my husband?

On food

This is what I keep saying to myself:

"I'm going to eat this, and I'm going to feel so gross, and it's going to be awesome."

Except the awesome keeps being overwhelmed by the gross. Maybe I should introduce vegetables back into my diet...

Today, I...

• Did the dishes
• Worked on poetry submissions
• Wrote lesson plans
• Emailed my parents
• Finalized my grad plan
• Did laundry
• Cleaned the house
• Showered
• Went on an impromptu day-trip to Yellowstone National Park, where I stood above waterfalls, drove through trees, and made friends with an otter, an elk, and a lady taking a picture of the elk.

Totally worth it.

A Funny, re-posted

*

I put this up on facebook a few months ago, but thought I'd re-post it here for fun.

This post is directed to expecting moms out there. Of those friends who are pregnant, one is due any day now, and two have only a month to go! But if you still don't have a name for your bundle of joy, don't panic. Jacob and I have taken it upon ourselves to help you all name your offspring. Most of you are having girls, it seems, so we only brainstormed one gender. Here are the girl names. You may thank us later.

Sarsaparilla
Amia
Incendiary
Quadrophenia
Bowlcut
Punky
Lollapalooza
Elemeno (reference to that one part of the alphabet that we all thought was one word)
Cookie
Squirrelly Girly
Nettle
Echinacea
Hades
Recipe
Yoghurt (You know, like Margaret? But a little different...)
StalagTite (This is in case your baby is a rapper.)
Trinidad
Craw-Lady (femified version of "crawdad," could also double as a rapper name)
Juneau (like the city in Alaska)
Citrus
Obimi (like Obama, only femified)
Tinuvial
Cherries Jubilee
Prognosis Ann
The Sun Also Rises
The Great Gatsbina

Your kids are going to be the most popular ones in their classes.

(For more baby name laughs, check out this blog on Rexburg baby names. There are also three previous installments. Sometime, some sociology researchers should come study Rexburg Mormon culture. Strange phenomena around here.)


*Also, a clarification for any readers with suspicions...Jacob and I aren't pregnant. (Although I am absurdly baby hungry.) Sorry. These are for our friends who ARE pregnant. When we have them, all of our girls will be named after flowers. Hippie-like.

I'd buy you a green dress...

Spring REFUSES to stay. I'm nursing the sunburn I got yesterday as a reminder of days past. I suppose "showers" do go along with spring, but I want the kind of spring that has SUNSHINE.

Anyway, all this gray sky business has me antsy. The other day while getting gasoline (at like $3.98 a gallon), I glanced up at the gas station building and the signs around it and noticed that the Idaho lottery is at $81 million.

Now I'm not entirely sure I agree with the whole idea of a lottery...any extra money the state has oughta go to education in my opinion, and I know the government taxes the hell out of your winnings. But as I watched the gas tank eat up our budget for the next two months, I couldn't help daydreaming. Here's what I would do with just $1 million, tax free:

1) I would pay off all our students loans (I guess those are all MY loans) and set aside money for the rest of our education, including graduate school.

2) I would fly my family out to Rexburg to see "Waiting for Godot."

3) I would buy a motorcycle.

4) I would visit our friends in England, and traipse about Europe with my husband for a spell.

5) I would possibly buy this house. And then redecorate it some.

6) I would buy the Career Beauty College building on College Ave, renovate it as a theatre and start a theatre company in Rexburg. (I realize I could spend the entire $1 mil on this, but I'll just get it started.)

7) I would buy a lot of movies.

8) I would buy a drumset, and a bass, and a microphone, and a few more amps. And then I would wrap it all up and give it all to Jacob.

9) And after that, I wouldn't know what to do with the remaining $150,000. (Yes, I budgeted this.) I'd probably invest it, and then travel.

What would YOU do with $1 million dollars?

Exit Through Rexburg

There's a strange phenomenon going on in Rexburg. (Actually, there are two: the other one is that apparently everyone in Rexburg just decided to start over, building-wise. At least seven buildings have been razed to the ground in the last few months. But that's not what I want to blog about. I want to blog about the other phenomenon in Rexburg.)

First of all, an introduction. The world of street art has been making its way into my consciousness with increasing enthusiasm over the last year or so. After discovering Banksy and other street artists, and after watching the award-winning documentary "Exit Through the Gift Shop," I'm a pretty big fan. I said that once and someone said "But, is Banksy still as awesome now that his stuff is being shown in museums and auctioned off at $500,000 a piece?" I replied, "Good art is good art." And while the whole illegality thing IS admittedly part of the awesomeness, I mostly just appreciate the sheer creativity of works like Banksy's. (See examples HERE.)

And okay, I love the "I will leave my mark on the world" feeling to creative street art. There's some tagging/graffiti (ok, a lot) that I don't appreciate...any fool with a spray can is capable of writing the F-word on a train car. But good street art is almost like "branding," both in the cow-poke sense and in the corporate America sense.

And all of this is why I'm intrigued by this recent Rexburg discovery:

There's someone going about Rexburg with a spray can and a dash of creativity! They're no Banksy or Shepherd Fairey or Invader, but "RINO" is making a mark nonetheless.

Jacob and I have decided to call this mystery artist "RINO" because of the three above examples. (The "RINO was sloppy" one I discovered just today while going out to photograph these.) There are a handful of stenciled works, which is a signature Banksy thing, that I think are fun:

But "RINO's" signature thing is these bug-eyed faces:

I find them endearing. They remind me of Tim Burton sketches. And I guess, technically, the stencils and the bug-faces could be done by different people. But because of the locations of the art, and because it's REXBURG, I'm pretty sure it's either one person, or two people that are working together. It's simply impossible to assume that Rexburg has TWO independent street artists, working simultaneously.

So far, I'm a fan of all this. Even if it's illegal. It's a difficult thing, because if I support this, why not support anyone who wants to draw anything anywhere? So far, my reasoning is that I support the creative spirit wherever it manifests, but the main thing is that it's actually ART...or at least it fits more into that category than in the "vandalism" category. Of course, that's almost completely subjective, so I'll just say that it's purely my opinion, and I can't think of any way to reach an objective conclusion.

I like the mustached face. He's so expressive. My favorite are the eyeglasses. They remind me of The Great Gatsby. Rexburg's own "Dr. T.J. Eckleberg."

(Also, I felt awesome and like an underground journalist, driving around Rexburg and walking down railroad tracks to take these pictures. When I was photographing the eyeglasses, a man working nearby asked me if "That was my art." Which I denied.)

Today

Ladies and gentlemen, I know I have left you all hanging on the whole New York trip thing. I apologize. I've been fighting off a cold (which I have officially defeated, kind of, except for a lingering cough), helping to plan a theatre summer camp at BYU-Idaho, and trying to memorize what I've concluded is the most challenging monologue in all of theatre. So the rest of the NYC trip is forthcoming. I probably could have hammered it out in the last week or so, but I knew it would be no good, and I'm sure that when you read more about New York, you'll want it to be good. I'll want it to be good. In summary, I am sorry to leave you all in suspense. But I make no promises as to when the rest of my travel journal will be published. Patience is a virtue. And besides, today's about something else.

Today is Mother's Day! The closer I get to the possibility of being a mother myself, and the more I see loved ones around me embarking on this adventure, the more my appreciation for motherhood grows. I'm glad we have today to celebrate it.

Today is about Marianna Wolff, who taught me to love learning, to care for everyone no matter what color their skin or whether they look or act differently, and to find beauty in nature.

Today is about Mary Whittaker, who taught me the beauty of weeding a garden in the early hours of the summer, the secrets of that mysterious world of cooking, and the joy of living the Gospel.

Today is about Kristi Chapman, who taught me more about the blessings of friendship, the power of kindness, and the fact that family love knows no blood boundaries.

Today is about Carrie, Heather, and Jacqueline, and anyone else who is getting ready to make this big leap into motherhood.

Today is about Amber and Annelise...and all those who are mothers to little ones who are waiting for them on the other side. And about those who have lost before they had the chance to begin.

Today is about Darcy, Amanda Kelley, Taylor, and Kara, and every other wonderful mother whose example I am blessed to follow.

Today is about those who long for motherhood, but haven't yet felt tiny feet kick their insides.

Today is about all the fears, the firsts, and the fights, all of the laughter and terror and hope that is motherhood. Mothers of the world, I salute you. I'm excited to join your ranks someday.