"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door."

Well, this is it! One more day before I get on the shuttle that will take me to the plane that will take me to the limo that will take me to the cruise ship that will take me to the sunny Western Carribean! I can hardly grasp it, really. I've been counting down the days for so long, it seemed like the cruise would never come! But it has, and not a moment too soon!

After the mildest fall semester I've ever experienced here, winter has finally caught up with Rexburg and is making up for lost time. We've gotten several inches of snow...the kind that's not going anywhere for a while, and its been well into the negative temperatures. But ah, the sunny sands of beaches in Mexico and Sur America await me!

I've been making all sorts of preparations for weeks now, including buying a new suitcase, researching ancient cultures of Mexico, and having my legs and bikini line waxed. I'll spare you the details of that experience, but I'll share some non-specific thoughts on the whole thing, since I'd never done anything like it before.

I've tried waxing my legs at home before, but it was painful and didn't even work, so I decided to not waste any more time or money on trying to do it myself. However, I didn't want to have to worry about shaving on a CRUISE, so I forked over a somewhat exhorbitant amount of money to Sage Day Spa to have them do it for me.

I was a little nervous, because it seems like a painful process, but other than that I had no idea what to expect. Since I was at a SPA, the whole atmosphere was very...tranquil? After I checked in, the receptionist led me to the bathroom and gave me a robe and sandals to change into, then had me wait in a room with low lighting, meditative music, and faintly scented candles. She said someone would be right with me, and would I like any juice or water while I waited? I said no thank you and sat and contemplated the experience so far. In a weird way, it was a little creepy..."Please take off all of your clothes and put on a soft comforting robe. Then wait in this comforting room while I offer you comforting things, even though in a moment, we're going to lead you into another room, close the door, lay you on a table under a surgical light, spread hot wax and cloth on your flesh and yank it off again very quickly, over and over again." Which is what happened. (Although for the sake of being dramatic, I did exaggerate slightly. The table was more like a bed, with a headrest, and the surgical light was only turned on to check for stray hairs.) It was actually less painful than I expected, and it got easier after awhile...I sort of got used to it. It wasn't exactly pleasant, but it wasn't a tooth-gritting type of pain either. More of just an "occasionally-squish-up-your-face-for-a-second type of pain." Anyway, I'm now hair free. Although a little sticky. Wax isn't easy to remove.

I also feel it necessary to make it public knowledge that earlier this week, the theatre department put on a Christmas Festival, with puppet shows, skits, musical numbers, poetry readings, and "The Second Shepherd's Play." I played Legolas in a skit entitled "Middle-Earth's First Christmas," written by my friends Dave and Jenny. (Hence the Tolkien quote as the title of the blog.) It was ridiculous, mostly improved, and one of the sillier things I've ever done in my life, but we all had a blast, so oh well. Isha, me and Beckah sang "An Ode to Boromir" and added a verse to introduce the show. The last verse went "Aragorn isn't in our show, Why that is we just don't know, but here's the Christmas story of the one ring of power's birth." The basic premise of the skit is that the one ring was forged by Sauron as a favor for Sam and Frodo, who needed last-minute gifts for the Christmas party "Gandalf the Red" was throwing. For awhile, Smeagol got ahold of the ring, but after several gift exchange games and a few incidents of minor violence, it ends up on Sauron's finger. J.R.R. Tolkien is spinning in his grave at this moment, I'm sure.

I conclude with a somewhat boring top ten list, but I've been a "to-do list junkie" the last couple of weeks, so it only seems appropriate that as an expression of my life lately, I share with you my Top Ten Things To Do Before the Cruise:

10. Return my library book. And decide which books to bring on the cruise.

9. Take my British Literature final online, so that I can then sell my book back and have $30 extra bucks for exciting things.

8. Withdraw a little spending money in cash from the ATM. Which I will be carrying with me. Which worries me a little bit, until I'm on the cruise ship and can put most of it in my luggage.

7. Pack. And possibly move all of my stuff that I'm not bringing (which is MOST of my stuff) down to #212, where we're living next semester.

6. Clean. Even though I've made a solemn vow to never again completely do White Glove clean-check as long as I'm living in approved housing. Its just not worth it to me. I'd rather fork over $50 than spend hours wiping down walls and scrubbing the grill behind my fridge. Especially when I'm trying to pack and make travel plans and take finals. But I'll wipe down counters. I'll scrub the microwave out. I'll leave it decent.

5. Figure out where to leave my car over the break. Which may require a special parking permit of some kind. As a matter of fact, I'm sure it does.

4. Acquire the required parking permit.

3. Change my voicemail message on my cell phone to something witty that says I'm on a cruise and won't be returning phone calls until the 23rd.

2. Eat all of the perishable food I have, or as much of it as possible, so that I don't have to throw it away or find someone to take it and eat it.

1. Hang out with people I'll miss lots, before going to see other people who I miss right now.

The Kind of Saxophone You Can Rollerblade To

Thursday, November 29th, 8:15pm. Salt Lake City, Energy Solutions Arena. The lights dim, and a piano rises out of the floor of the stage. Sitting on a stool in front of it, playing those keys like nobody can, is the man himself. Billy Joel. In concert. And I was there.

I found out Billy Joel was touring while surfing the internet during Thanksgiving vacation. Out of curiosity alone, I clicked on a link to find out where he was touring. And he was in Boise and Salt Lake the next week. On complete impulse, at 1 in the morning, I texted my roomate Annie and friends Jesse and Kathleen, telling them that we HAD to go. By noon the next day we had tickets. Seats almost miles away, but Billy Joel for 60 bucks, 3 and a half hours from Rexburg? Ain't no way we're passing this opportunity up. (Tickets in row 8: $9000.00. Boggles the mind a bit, doesn't it?)

So Thursday afternoon, we hit the highway to Salt Lake. We got there about 3 hours before the concert started, so we had dinner at the Brazilian Grill "Rodizio's." It's the Salt Lake equivalent of Provo's "Tacano's" and its brilliant and possibly one of the most wonderful, unhealthy establishments in the world. You pay $20, go to the salad bar, get a few things to make yourself feel justified in the rest of your dinner. At your table, there's a little block of wood, one side green and one side red. When you have the green side up, people come by with enormous slabs of meat on sticks. I've never eaten so much meat in my life. The human body is not meant to digest meat in quantities that large. I must have eaten a pound or two of spicy chicken, marinated chicken, bacon-wrapped turkey, several types of beef...it was incredible.



But the word "incredible" doesn't even begin to describe the concert itself. I'll try to describe the glory of it bit by bit, though words hardly do it justice.

Billy Joel opened the concert with a great prelude number that medley'd into "Angry Young Man." First of all, his band was excellent and so together. Second of all, they had a kick-A light show going on, thanks to a top-notch roadie crew, which we'll talk about later. As soon as the lights came up on him and the music started, the crowd went nuts...on their feet, screaming and clapping. After the song was over, he made a little bit of an introduction, saying "I'm actually Billy's dad, Billy couldn't make it tonight." =) He may be old and what little hair he's got on his head is gray. But like he said, "It's not how much hair you have, it's how much head you get." (Please excuse me besmirching my blog with that quote, but I thought it was pretty funny, and very...Billy Joel. So did most of the audience. Those who didn't think it was hilarious just looked around and said "huh?")



He did this neat thing throughout the concert, due to the festive time of year. He would start a lot of songs as Christmas songs, and then medley into one of his own songs. I wish I could remember specifically which ones he did that with. Anyway, he did that. And it was neat. He played "My Life," "Everybody Loves You Now," and "The Entertainer." For the next song, he gave us a choice of 3 songs, and "Vienna" won by a land-slide. Which during the last severel months, has become a personal favorite of mine.

Joel then explained to the audience that he's always wanted to do a movie soundtrack...to actually score it, but since no one's ever approached him, he decided to make one up. So he said he just sat down and wrote a completely historically inaccurate song called "Billy the Kid." ("Really, its totally inaccurate. If you really wanted, I could go through the lyrics and point out the places where I'm full of crap.") But it was a REALLY cool song. That was followed by "Allentown." Then he played a song I'd never heard before, but its become one of my new favorite Joel tunes..."Zanzibar," from the album 52nd Street. It's a really great song! Then came "New York State of Mind," and "Root Beer Rag." During that song, most of the people in the front several rows got up and started dancing, then crowded to the stage, where they remained for the rest of the concert. Joel did "Movin' Out" next, then "Innocent Man," "Don't Ask Me Why," "She's Always a Woman," "Faith," and "River of Dreams."

After those songs, Joel stood up and his piano sunk back into the floor, and someone handed him an electric guitar. He went up to the mic and said something to the effect of "We've got a member of our roadie crew who's a very talented man, he's been with us for many years. He's been working on this song for a long time, working really hard, so he'd like to come out and sing a song for you. It's kind of a religious song, and you can boo him off the stage if you want to, but give him a chance, he's been working really hard. Ladies and gentleman, please welcome to the stage 'Chainsaw.'" We all gave him an enthusiastic round of applause as he walked onstage and took the mic. He was this kind of baldish, slightly overweight guy with an old shirt and shorts...dressed like a roadie. But he took the mic and sang AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" and ROCKED THE HOUSE. Joel accompanied on the guitar, and it was absolutely brill. Afterwards, we gave "Chainsaw" a huge standing ovation and he left the stage with an enormous new fan base. Check him out rocking the house:



"Chainsaw's" performance was the start of the POWER SET. Check it out:
"We Didn't Start the Fire"
"Big Shot"
"Still Rock N Roll to Me"
"You May Be Right"

During all of those songs, Joel was on the guitar, or just straight vocals. On "Still Rock N Roll to Me," he did all these cool mic stand stunts. It was kind of tongue in cheek, because he's almost 60 and was almost making fun of himself, but it was really cool. He got the stand spinning really fast, then spun it with one hand and threw it up in the air, dropping it almost to the ground and bringing it back up again to sing. It was fun. When he was at the piano, he wasn't exactly calm either. He sat on a drum stool, which was raised pretty high, so he was kind of halfway between sitting and standing. On the high energy songs, he would really rock out...like literally be rocking back and forth and side to side on his seat. He was great. The star that he is, he could have called in that performance, could have just shown up as this washed up rocker singing the tunes that made him famous. But he didn't, and he wasn't. He was totally there, 100%, connecting to his audience and having a blast. Some people are brilliant musicians, but not very good "performers." Some people just don't have a good sense of how to put on a good show and connect with the audience and be unselfish. But Joel totally had it going on, and knew what he was doing and did it well. He was also really great at giving credit to his band, stepping aside and letting others solo and take the stage. There were some brilliantly talented musicians, and great solos.



After "You May Be Right," he and his band took their bows, waved good-bye and left the stage. And of course we didn't stand for that. We cheered and stomped and clapped and screamed for a full 2 minutes it seemed, until finally the piano rose up from the floor again and the lights came up on Billy Joel. He played "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant," and it was wonderful, naturally. He took another bow and left the stage, but we still hadn't had enough, so we cheered and clapped some more, and he came out again and did "Only the Good Die Young." And it was wonderful. But as much as he might get sick of singing it at every concert, we weren't going to let him leave without doing "Piano Man." We encored him once more and finally he sat down at the piano and put on the harmonica. He played those first few notes and we went nuts. It was a great ending to the concert. The Thorsons and Annie and I all hugged eachother and swayed and sang along, just like the rest of the audience was doing. At one chorus, Joel and the band cut out and just had the entire audience sing. It was so cool, and a little surreal to be singing the words "Sing us a song, you're the piano man, sing us a song tonight. Well, we're all in the mood for a melody, and you've got us feeling all right" directly to Billy Joel and the band. It was so fitting, and awesome.



All in all, an amazing experience. Worth missing class and work for, worth paying $60 for, worth the long drive(s) for. I give the concert 11 stars. Out of 5.

Top Ten Most Memorable Things About the Billy Joel concert trip:
10. The taste of grilled pineapple.
9. Those totally drunk, uncoordinated groupies who were in the front row and showing so much boobs I was surprised they weren't getting arrested. And of course the film crew filmed them lots and put lots of shots of Mount Inappropriate on the big screen. It was ridiculous. And funny. And we hoped that they tried to meet Billy Joel and that he totally rejected them.
8. The cute waiter at Rodizio's who I smiled at and who looked at me like I was totally crazy.
7. The drive to Salt Lake, listening to Billy Joel's greatest hits.
6. The drive home, listening to "Les Miserables." Which was a bit of a contrast, but we're theatre geeks, what can we say?
5. The whole bathroom thing. I'll just leave it at that, along with a reminder that the human body is not built to consume as much meat as we did in one sitting right before the concert.
4. Driving into Rexburg at 2 in the morning, and singing "Rock the Caspah," and changing the words over and over again like telephone until we were singing "Chase the Bastard." Don't ask me how we got there, I don't remember, but we sure thought we were funny.
3. The street sign we saw in residential neighborhood on our way to "Rodizio's" that just said "DEAF PERSONS." How cryptic.
2. Wandering around the mall for a few after eating and me leaning over the railing and accidentally dropping my mint out of my mouth, which fell down to the first floor and landed right next to a police officer.
1. The moment the lights went out and the music first started. I could hardly breathe. I don't think I did.

Here's us in the parking lot of the Energy Solutions Arena, minutes before finding our seats for the concert:

Wait! Wait! Top Ten!!!

I just remembered that I wanted to start a new blogging tradition! It was inspired by my previous previous blog (The "Ten Top Ten" one), and I was going to start it with the previous one (the "Go Oregon" one). But I forgot so I'm adding it as an addendum now.

I want to include a "Top Ten" list of some sort in every blog entry from now on, whether it be the only thing in an entry, or just an afterthought like this is. Although hopefully I won't forget from now on and have to add it as a completely separate entry. That would defeat the purpose. Anyway, it's Thanksgiving around now, so I suppose I'm obligated to do some sort of "Thankful" list. But that's a little boring, so let's spice it up a little, shall we?

TOP TEN THINGS I'M GRATEFUL DON'T EXIST
(Special thanks to Isha for helping me brainstorm to create this list--It was more difficult to think of these things than I realized it would be)

10. Big Scary Machines that take over the world

9. Federal laws regarding music

8. Mirrors that reflect true identities (which would especially blow if you were a spy)

7. Singing corpses

6. The marshmallow guy from "Ghostbusters"

5. Anti-semitic butterflies (just because my entire perception of reality would be shattered if butterflies turned out to be evil)

4. Alien warlords (that we know of)

3. Radioactive popsicles

2. "Big Brother"

1. Fatally attractive men. Like if you don't shag them, you will actually die.

"Smoke pot! Support a lesbian! Go Oregon!"

Three Whittakers and one Wheeler! We all look a little high in this picture, but if I may be vain for a moment, I also think its one of the best pictures ever taken of me. That's Isha, Beckah (who really was high on painkillers, but whose hair looks great), Jill, and me. And for the record, even though the title of this blog and the picture I posted may suggest otherwise, I'm not gay.

Hey howdy hey Blogosphere!

I haven't touched this blog in ages. Time to start back up again!

I'm here in Oregon, visiting the family for Thanksgiving. Probably for the last time, which is really weird to think about. Daddy got accepted by the State Department, so Mary, Dad and Melissa are moving to D.C. in January, and then to some foreign country a few months after that--won't know where until February. So really, this could be one of the last times all 6 of the Whittakers are in the same room at the same time for who knows how many years. What with different colleges, possible marriages, etc, we might not all be together for a long time. How surreal. Also one of the reasons we're having a family portrait taken tomorrow.

Its been a really great visit. Weird, but good. This year, I do know a few more people here, so there's someone to actually go out and see besides my family. I got to see Fune, who I worked with at Playmill this last summer, and I got to see Jillian, and that was great. I went and saw them in rehearsal for "A Christmas Carol," which is also starring...MY DAD! Its so wonderful to see him onstage. He hasn't done anything theatrical like this for at least 20 years. He's so good at it, and it comes so naturally to him, I've always said he should do it more often. He's playing Jacob Marley, and also "Gentleman #2." I was sitting there in the gym with my camera like I was the proud parent. =) Also during the process of hanging out in rehearsal, I've met the coolest family EVER. Several of the kids (from ages 14 to 5 or so) are in the show...Israel, Liam, Avalon, and 2 other boys whose names I've forgotten. A lot of the cast is LDS, but they're Jewish, and your average Oregonian hippies as well. Little Liam is playing Tiny Tim--he's about 6 I think, and he's a riot. I adore this kid. They're all such hams. And Israel does a killer British accent, and he's like what? 12? When their Dad came and picked them all up, he left with a kid slung over his shoulder and all the rest climbing all over him. As he walked out the door, he yelled "Peace!" Which was followed by choruses of "Peace!" "Peace!" "Peace!" as all the kids yelled the same thing after him. I was walking behind them and was already smiling about THAT, when I heard the Dad say "Ok, let's go. Where's Liam? Oh. Hey, quit hanging on my lower arms or I'll break your face." What a fun family. =)

But then again, I've got my own. We're a little different, and we've had (have) our rocky spots, but altogether, I'm loving being with them. The following has occurred during the course of the last week:

My stepmom has tried to marry me off to my cousins.

I've learned to make pumpkin pie and pie crust.

We watched a documentary called "Trekkies" with my family about Star Trek fanatics. We laughed, but the best part was that we laughed half of the time, and the other half of the time discussed our favorite Star Trek characters and Captain Kirk's middle name.

I've discussed music theory with my sisters while doing the dishes.

We had a dance/singing party while trying to make Thanksgiving dinner. Which is difficult since our kitchen comfortably fits one person, maybe two, and there were at least 4 or 5 of us at any given moment.

The family's also trying to sell the house, and we woke up (around noon) to learn that people were coming to look at it in an hour, so we managed to get dressed, eat breakfast, and clean the house top to bottom (vacuumed, dusted, mopped, scrubbed toilets, made beds, etc). Like 4 of us did everything. In less than an hour.

We went over to Jillian's house to watch/help Jill shave Fune's head. He had grown a mo-hawk for the last show he was in, so she just shaved it off.

Melissa has her learner's permit, so I went out driving with her around Union tonight for her to get some practice tonight. Which was a little scary. But okay. Good practice for when I have kids of my own, I suppose.

Watched my stepmom attempt to sing happy birthday to my father in the style of Marilyn Monroe. Which only sort of worked.

Ah, the Whittakers. We're hoping to have a Whittaker Dance Party tomorrow night, hopefully with Jill and maybe Fune as well. Because if anything is a family tradition, a Whittaker Dance Party is one.

Anyway, speaking of tradition, I'll end this entry with a quote and a picture. Although in this case, they're not necessarily related. I close mine epistle with this amusing conversation that took place during the movie "Trekkies" last night:

Me: Is LaVar Burton gay?
Dad: He's wearing contacts.
Mary: Who, him? His name's LaVar.

"PEACE!!!"

Ten Top Ten

10 Current Favorite Songs to Listen To (in no particular order)
1. Ramalama Bang Bang by Roison Murphy
2. Lollipop by Mika
3. Sidewalk Chalk by Nick Day
4. Don’t Ask Me by OkGo
5. Claire De Lune by DeBussy
6. Run Away by Jordan Tait
7. Let’s Get It On by Marvin Gaye
8. Get Your Way by Jamie Cullum
9. Everything by Michael Buble
10. Extraordinary Machine by Fiona Apple

9 Most Recent/Current Food Cravings
1. Haagen-Daz Raspberry Sorbet
2. Steamed broccoli
3. Several of the 3 ½ dozen chocolate chip cookies Taylor made
4. Gingerbread cookies
5. Cinnamon rolls
6. Baby-back ribs
7. Stir-fry
8. Vietnamese spring rolls
9. Sydney’s chocolate cake

8 Playmill Moments I Always Look Forward To
1. Singing the West Yellowstone song at pre-show.
2. Spiderman Ballet
3. “Mr. Humphrey!?!” “Did anyone call?”
4. Riding in the Model A.
5. Curtis leaping across the stage as the Russian.
6. “Footloose” finale.
7. Organizing the concessions till after intermission.
8. Constant backstage butt-grabbing.

7 Habits of Highly Affective Playmill Players
1. Always practice safe microphone use.
2. Be able to break windows with your butt.
3. Don’t trip on little kids.
4. Kick everyone’s trash at Halo.
5. Realize the sex appeal of a yellow Ford Model A.
6. Do handstands. All the freakin time.
7. Have a cough or a cold.

6 Reasons Why I Should Be Going to Bed Right Now
1. I’m still getting over this cold.
2. I’m getting bored.
3. Rehearsal is at 9am tomorrow morning.
4. If I don’t go to sleep soon, I’ll end up eating something unhealthy.
5. This laptop on my lap is getting really hot and its starting to burn my legs.
6. I’m tired.

5 Reasons Why I’m Grateful Taylor is My Roomate
1. We are both very heavy sleepers.
2. We are both introverted and don’t mind hanging out without talking.
3. She lets me use her computer all the time.
4. Sometimes her puppy comes and visits.
5. She’s good to vent with if needed.

4 Unusual Things That I Have Done This Summer
1. Helped lead the citizens of West Yellowstone in a traditional snake dance among covered fiberglass painted buffalo.
2. Gone on a double and a half date.
3. Watched an old man wander across the stage in the middle of a scene in “Footloose.”
4. Helped with an impromptu improv show during a power outage at the theatre and then evacuated the audience.

3 Things That Made Me Angry Recently
1. My injured Achille’s tendon.
2. How unrefreshing some naps can be.
3. The fact that my legs aren't magical and need to be shaved occasionally.

2 Things That Made Up for the Things That Made Me Angry
1. Matt’s little brother Isaac.
2. New books.

1 Place I Wish I Could Be Right Now
1. Right where I am.

Thank you's

Somewhat heartless parent who took this picture--Thank you for putting said picture on the internet so that I can laugh. In a "that poor kid" kind of way.

Mom—Thanks for raising me equally on both Mozart and the Beatles.

Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx—Thank you for writing the music for the Broadway show “Avenue Q” so that I can listen to it.

Roger and Heidi—Thanks for giving me the opportunity to be a part of the Playmill again this summer.

Matthew—Thanks for giving me a hug this morning when I was pouty because I had to get up early and I was hungry and it was snowy.

Winter hat—Thanks for keeping me warm when West Yellowstone is stupid and snowy in May.

Ultimate-Guitar.com—Thank you for having the chords to one of my favorite Fiona Apple songs.

Dinosaur Comics—Thanks for consistently making me laugh.

Taylor—Thanks for letting me use your computer every day…for several hours a day…

Dan—Thank you for inviting me out to breakfast this morning.

James Dean—Thank you for being sexy and oober-talented.

Jesse, Kathleen, Annie, and David—Thank you for coming to visit when you were in town yesterday.

Jen—Thanks for your friendship and your brilliant advice, which I rely on to this day.

Old Couple we sat next to in Running Bear today—Thank you for recognizing us from the Playmill and complimenting us on the show.

Al Pacino—See thank you to James Dean.

Guitar—Thanks for existing, so that I can make music.

Apartment plumbing—Thanks for being crappy. No pun intended.

Oingo Boingo—Thanks for rocking.

Internet—Thanks for giving me a place to blog.

Where are my jujubees? I can't find my jujubees!

I had a fun talk tonight about all the old-school computer games we all used to play back in the day. Which inspired me to write this blog. And I totally stole this idea for a blog entry from Willie. Woot for syntax text-only adventure games.

You find yourself sitting awake in bed.

>Check clock

It is 2:01 in the morning

>inventory

You have your roomate's computer, your phone, and a stuffy nose.

>Blow nose

You need a tissue to do that.

>Get tissue

You can't get a tissue from here.

>Screw blowing nose

Okay.

>I'm bored.

I don't understand that command.

>Entertain me.

I don't understand that command.

>Make observations about current situation.

You are single. You are thirsty. You are an insomniac.

>Change relationship status.

You need to choose a person to do that.

>Select Guybrush Threepwood as companion.

Guybrush Threepwood is an imaginary character.

>Select Al Pacino as companion.

Don't be stupid.

>Get a drink.

You get up and pour yourself a glass of water. You get out powdered energy drink and add 4 scoops. You drink the glass in one gulp.

>Go to sleep.

You have gone to sleep.

We had some good games, didn't we? To close, here's my little pictorial ode to the computer games of my youth:

Somehow this game was actually really entertaining...Mom and Dad, you guys were the masters at good ole StuntCopter!


In later versions of the game below, I always had this moral dilemma...do I choose the Oregon Trail or the Mormon Trail? As an LDS Oregonian, I was always like "Where do my loyalties lie?"


Dah-nah-naaahhh! Dah-dah-dah-nah-naaaaaahhh!


World Wide Travel, we send you ANYWHERE!


It also occured to me in the course of the conversation about computer games that you know your family is a little nerdy when you quote both movies AND computer games. (Hey Whittakers..."Want some rye? Course ya do! Here's to us! Who's like us! And we're all dead.")

I don't even know what a dwarf monkey-flower is...is there such a thing?

Just for fun, here are some memorable things that have made it into the quote-book since arriving in West Yellowstone:

“Oh Curtis. He brings life back into my life.” –Mallori

“It’s difficult to feel elegant while dancing in feet-y pajamas.” –Me

“Not that I would do this to her on purpose, but if my turtle died right now, she’d be just the right size to make a really cool belt buckle out of.” –Craig

“I love you, hot fudge. I love you too, Cameron, but you don’t get a cool texture when covered with ice cream.” –Me

“I like my men like I like my trucks: big and strong…and red…and covered with the Playmill logo...” –Mallori

“I’ve just been hit by a tired…thing.” –Cameron

"Austin, why is it that every time I look at you, you're either not fully clothed or upside-down?" -Me

“My parents drove UNDER a moose once.” –Joe

“Drinking raw eggs isn’t that big of a deal…its just like drinking mucus.” –Austin

“Be racist. You’ll be happy.” –Dan

“I wish you COULD play a muffin tin.” –Curtis

“We definitely need thin ties. Thin-ness is…in-ness.” –Sid

“It’s like losing your virginity. Really, what’s the point?” –Austin

“Oh Dave. Robbing the…gay cradle.” –Kyra

“I was angry this morning. If ever I was to kill someone, it would be in the morning.” –Austin

“It would be really lame if you woke up on top of the Brooklyn Bridge.” –Curtis

“I don’t know any girls in Rexburg of Austin’s caliber. Which means that if Austin was a girl, he’d be out of my league.” –Jordan

“Why are we scary!? I would never date someone like me!” –Kaylie

“Know what you should do? Make hot breaths.” –Jordan

“You don’t need a shirt to pluck your eyebrows!” –Me

“Why does the skin spare you?” –Jordan (he meant “spin scare you”)

“I think it’s a standing rule at the Playmill that no one can ever straddle anything. Ever.” –Austin

“Don’t say Eliza's a sexy beast! It’s naughty for their little ears!” –Sarah

“I think I just swallowed one of my hairs.” –Kaylie

And the crowning gem thus far:
“It’s always after the white osprey and before the dwarf monkey-flower that the Thespians arrive. Good to have you with us.” –total stranger a few of us met in a gift shop at Old Faithful

Good times. By the way, that picture up there is of our favorite visitor to the Playmill, Taylor's puppy, Tobey. We've decided that he's this season's mascot, and have nicknamed him "Tobey the Playmill Playmate." He was a runt that Taylor rescued. The lil darling just opened his little eyes last week, and just barely started to discover walking a couple of days ago. He's so tiny and funny, he's impossible to leave alone!

And here's another picture; its kind of weird, but I think its funny...Austin and I both fell asleep on the couch during dinner break. We didn't do so in the same position on purpose, but I think it looks funny, and apparently so did Taylor because she took a picture.


Anyway, thinking of all of you. Rehearsals are going well...I'm getting the beginnings of panic at being ready in time, but deep down I know it will work out. It always does. I've been having all sorts of adventures, though not the kind I can easily blog about, but generally speaking, life is good. I'm loving getting to know everyone...making and strengthening friendships and learning from those around me. I feel so lucky to be here, doing what I love, surrounded by such astounding natural wonders!

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers, especially Fune who just had a root canal this morning, and Austin who is having his wisdom teeth removed tomorrow.

Rock on, and may you be living the extraordinary lives that are possible for you!

"I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth." --Chico Marx

Tonight, a few of us were half-watching “Spiderman” and got to talking about movie kisses. This led to a debate of what the “best movie kisses of all time” are. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about it before, but when someone asks “What’s the best movie kiss of all time?” that’s really a tough one to answer. We decided that it might be too hard to come up with just one, but we got a pretty good list going. Here are some of our conclusions:

“Spiderman”
The upside-down kiss in the rain

“The Notebook”
The kiss on the dock in the rain

“On the Waterfront”
When Marlon Brando kisses Eva Marie Saint in the corner of her kitchen and she fights him for a moment and then sinks down to the floor in his arms

“Romeo+Juliet” (Baz Luhrman’s)
Basically all of the kisses

“It’s a Wonderful Life”
The phone scene!!

But although we all know there are lots and lots more, we couldn’t list them definitively. We also decided that rain automatically makes any kiss (real or on-screen) infinitely better.

SO, what do you think? What are some of the greatest movie kisses of all time? I’m sure there’s an official list somewhere…maybe I should look that up…

Anyway, this blog entry is slightly more interactive than usual. Comment and tell me your thoughts on the best movie kisses ever.

Perhaps any psychologists who happen upon this blog will immediately note that it must be a sexually frustrated group of young people up at the Playmill theatre at the moment.

"Fame." --David Bowie

Hey friends! Check out this movie trailer for Minnie Driver's new movie "Take"! It looks like an interesting little film, but the main reason I posted it is because Playmill alumnus and long-time friend of the Merrill family RYAN SIMMONS is starring in the film! I have not yet had the privilege of working with him, but I've seen him perform and he's brilliant, and I did meet him once. At the time, I was in West Yellowstone, getting into Heidi's car so that she could drive me to the emergency room for re-hydration after a nasty flu. So I don't remember much from that brief meeting. But Ryan, if you stumble across this 'umble blog, I look forward to meeting you again someday!

Oh, in the trailer, Ryan is the clerk at the convenience store that is being held up for $2000 dollars...the handsome-ish fellow in the shirt and tie that looks up about a minute into the film.

Even though I can't claim to know this fellow very well, it's surreal and thrilling to see someone you've met or know through friends in a movie trailer with Minnie Driver.

"The bloom had been brushed from one little maiden dream. Would the painful process go on until everything became prosaic and hum-drum?" -Anne Shirley

So, this summer will go down in history as one of my bizarrest, personally. It's a summer of wedding bells, or lack thereof! Not only is this the summer when I was planning on getting married myself a few months ago, but this is the summer that my first boyfriend WILL be getting married.

I just got the news that Jared Doshier will be getting married to someone named Autumn this June. I can't even begin to express how I feel about that. I don't even know myself how I feel about that. It's very surreal, I know that much.

We were eachother's first kiss, eachother's first serious relationship, and we dated for 9 months or so before he went on his mission. I had liked him for YEARS before that, and every single one of our mutual friends take credit for setting us up, it seems. He'll have been back from his mission for a year this month. In the four years since we were together, I've certainly had my own share of romantic adventures, from dating someone for a week and a half to planning my own wedding for July 7th, from being cheated on to liking boys that are already in a relationship themselves.

It's not that I want to be the one marrying Jared in June, it's just that I wish I were marrying SOMEONE sometime soon. All these friends getting married...it gives one a very...left behind feeling.

I think I may be giving the impression that I'm angry at Jared, or bitter, or hurt, but really I'm not! I'm so so happy for him and I wish him and his new wife every blessing. I hope he'll be very happy, and I can't wait to meet this girl of his. I just feel like the bridesmaid who's never a bride. (Even though I've only been a bridesmaid twice, and both times were for my parents' respective re-marriages.)

I hope I haven't terribly shocked my family when I say that I was planning my wedding for July. It wasn't completely official yet, so I didn't want to say anything until it was. Vaughn and I had a ring designed, and announcements designed, and a date picked out, but it turns out that we're not the best people for eachother. I think I'm going to throw a party on July 7th. Just because I can't simply let the day I was going to be MARRIED pass right by without being acknowledged. July 7th is also, ironically, the day that Jared and I got together, way back in 2003.

I'm having trouble expressing myself this afternoon. I feel like I'm a snowglobe that's been shaken up, and everything is flying around inside of me. I just have to wait for everything to settle down again before I can see quite clearly. So it's not necessarily a BAD feeling I have in reaction to this news about Jared, just a CHAOTIC feeling. Feelings.

I guess I should call Jared. I also suppose I should try and make it to the wedding...find an understudy or something. I wonder if Autumn is a crazy dancer?

"TAKE LUCK!"

Welp, kids, its official! I am no longer an employee of Taco Bell! Tonight was my last shift, and it was a good one to close my employment with. I suppose it was a good experience...I always vowed I'd never work in fast food, but now that I have, I have a greater appreciation for those who do. On behalf of those who are still in the industry, I feel the need to share a little knowledge I've gained. Most of the time, I worked the drive-thru, so a lot of these are related to that aspect of fast food.
Things I've learned as an employee in the fast food industry:

1. Do not give exact change at the drive-thru window. Unless you have it ready the second you pull up. It's irritating to stand there at the window and wait for people to count out their money. It's actually much faster and easier for the person working the window to give YOU change. I don't care if you want to get rid of your coins. Don't do it at the drive-thru window.

2. A lot more things are deep-fried than you might think.

3. If you have a diesel engine, TURN IT OFF at the drive-thru menu. It's really hard to hear over, not to mention the fact that it blasts the eardrums out of whoever's trying to take your order.

4. Drinks are a rip-off at most places. Cups cost about 30 cents, and soda, about 5 cents per cup, so really you should be charged less than a dollar, no matter what size drink you get. If you ask for a water cup, and then put soda in it, you are completely justified. Even if the manager yells at you.

5. Please, for the love of Pete, speak up when you're ordering!

But now that is all in the past! I am so ready to be at Playmill. I'm heading up to West Yellowstone tomorrow. I feel like its Christmas Eve, and I want to go to sleep and have morning come sooner, but I'm too excited to sleep. Technically the season doesn't start until the beginning of May, but I'm going up early to work and clean and organize and get ready for the season. Not to mention to make a little money, which is always nice.

It's strange...I feel so ready to get out of here. But all of a sudden, it just occurred to me that leaving for West Yellowstone also means saying good-bye to a lot of people that I love. I also love all the people I'm going to be spending my summer with, but I hate good-byes. Its my least favorite part of semester endings. I'll miss everyone.

I can't really think of much else to blog about. I'll keep you posted on everything, as per usual. I love you all.

Oh, and that picture at the top? I just thought it was funny. I hope this kid isn't scarred or anything, because I really want to do things like this to my children. Correction...WITH my children? Anyway, the infant seems to be okay, so I figure, why not?

The Lame and the Lovely

LAME: It just now occurred to me, as in TODAY, that there is a week and a half left of this semester. I’m not even in classes, and that freaks me out.
LOVELY: That also means that I only have to work at Taco Hell—beg pardon, Taco BELL for just 7 more short days! And then no more fast food industry for me.

LAME: I owe rent still.
LOVELY: Ok, only sort of lovely, but the managers are paying me $10 an hour off my rent still owing to re-paint one of the bathrooms. I got like $75 off. And the bathroom looks good.

LAME: Not sure if Hawai’i is going to work out for this vacation. It might for the END of the summer, but I think its sort of falling through.
LOVELY: We’re still going on an adventure! We just don’t know where yet.

LAME: Even after the semester is over, there’s still a month before Playmill rehearsals start.
LOVELY: But Roger hired me to come up early with a handful of others to help clean up, organize, and get ready for the summer! I love the Playmill.

LAME: I’m going to be really busy the next week or so.
LOVELY: Part of that being busy will be training for a new job! I am officially hired as the theatre script librarian for the fall and winter next year! I talked to Judy (theatre office secretary) about it now, so that the spot could be open for me when I return to school, and she worked it out perfectly. I get trained for 3 days over the next week and a half for the PERFECT job during school! It’s a job I can keep throughout the rest of my schooling here at BYU-I, and it’s $6.50 an hour at really flexible hours (around 20 a week) in my own little niche of the theatre department, at a desk that’s not too busy, where I can be surrounded by theatre all day and work on homework. How grateful I am!

LAME: I still gotta fill out the FAFSA. And that’s annoying.
LOVELY: I’m going to school in the fall! I had to re-apply, since I haven’t been taking classes for so long, and I was terrified I wouldn’t get back in. But I got accepted! (Re-accepted?) Classes, homework, books, and lectures, I’m so excited to be a part of you again! (That may have sounded sarcastic, but in all honesty, I really truly am ecstatic about it, and I’ve missed it so!)

LAME: There’s still no cure for cancer.
LOVELY: Daddy passed the Foreign Services exam with flying colors! After years of hard work, prayer, and perseverance, the Lord has seen fit to bless him and our family with success in this endeavor! There are still a lot of steps to this process, but he’s closer than ever to living one of his dreams working in an embassy overseas!

LAME: I just ate my last popsicle.
LOVELY: I’m surrounded by good, wonderful people whom I love dearly, and who make every day the adventure that I pray for my life to be! I hope that I can show my gratitude for the friends I have around me by being the kind of friend OTHERS can be grateful for.

Thought for the day:
"As I was kick starting my vespa tonight I kicked too hard and slammed my heel into the ground. I think I bruised it which made me think. Though we have the power to crush Satan's head, a bruised heel still hurts." --Alex Hardy

"Never trust a man who gives you ice-cream. Unless he's your father." --Beckah

With the onset of the usual 1am insomnia, I've been contemplating that gem of wisdom from my sister. I think she's really got a point. Especially for we Mormon girls. Ice cream is the LDS equivalent to alcohol, it seems. I mean, think about it. Where the rest of the world says "Would you like to go get a drink somewhere?" Mormons say "Would you like to get a sundae somewhere?" The Mormon equivalent of "Shall I get us something to drink?" is quite obviously "Would you like some ice-cream?"

Not that ice-cream is inherently harmful, like alcohol is generally considered. But think about it, girls. It's a well-known proverb that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, a truth which we women have been using against the menfolk for years. But them men, they're more subtle-like. It seems that as women in general, we automatically feel a greater sense of appreciation for a man who offers us ice cream. Not always a swell of romantic affection, but we certainly hold the fellow in higher esteem.

But should we really be using a dairy product to measure a man's character by? Could this perhaps be a tool being used against us? Is ice cream being used to cloud our judgment? Are we being seduced at the hands of an ice cream scoop? (Perhaps that metaphor should be withdrawn; it doesn't ring quite right.)

If a boy asks you over to his place to discuss the latest political situation over bowls of neopolitan, perhaps you should ask him to make his intentions clear. Ice cream can of course, be accepted from fathers, no strings attached.

There have been cases, I am sure, when a normally reasonable, clairvoyant and intelligent young woman, with traces of Rocky Road on her lips, has looked at the young man who bestowed it on her and thought "You know, Gerald really isn't that bad-looking of a boy. Perhaps I shall go to the dance with him like he asked." Would she really have thought that without the bowl of chocolatey, marshmallowy, almondy goodness in front of her. Perhaps. But perhaps not.

Have you been this young woman? Have you been enticed by the subtle use of frozen dairy? Have you been seduced by a man wielding an ice-cream scoop? Have there been times when you woke the next morning from an ice-cream overdose and think back to the things you said the night before and wonder if what you were thinking really made that much sense at the time?

(Furthermore, have there been times when you woke the next morning from writing a blog and think back to the things you said the night before and wonder if what you were thinking really made that much sense at the time? I suppose that's the real question here...)

The FINAL countdown!!!!

Five years of Comic Frenzy! Woot for their anniversary this year. This was their introduction at the Mother's Weekend shows this year. Rock the stage, CF.

The best way to get to know someone is to get to know their current life circumstances?

Name: Liz Whittaker

Age: Old enough to buy alcohol, but not old enough to receive government grants to pay for higher education

Employment: The fast food industry. Years of employment in professional calling centers, and now she's currently The AntiTaco.

Residence: The Hawmps, where they lose her cash payments for rent and threaten to kick her out for not being a student.

Relationship Status: Impatiently single. It would be a lot more convenient if she could develop actual feelings for someone available.

Aspirations: To be a student again. To do the splits and a double pirouette. To buy a bookshelf and new glasses.

Fears: Raccoons, loneliness, losing control of her romantic impulses.

Somewhat unattainable material desires: An iMac, an iPod, a digital camera, a car, a drumset.

Comforts: Music, ice-cream, friends, long walks alone in unlit areas

Frustrations: The rapidness with which our house gets dirty, feeling a sense of being misunderstood, having crushes on men who are not single

Somewhat selfish but justifiable desires: To have the girl playing Penelope in "See How They Run" drop out so that I can have that role, to sing "Baby It's Cold Outside" for pre-show at Playmill Christmas, to be the script librarian in the theatre department next year, to be a more integral part of Comic Frenzy, to visit Jen in Utah, to come into several thousand dollars to take care of bills for the next (and past) several years, to spend the 3 week vacation in Hawai'i.

Things to be grateful for: Rebekah, the Playmill, the quotebooks, extra strength Pamprin, wool socks, and David Bowie.

Diary of an Assistant Stage Manager

A day by day account of the rehearsal process of BYU-Idaho's "Crazy For You," from the point of view of yours truly. Since the show's been running successfully for three nights in a row, I figured now was the best time to publish this.

January 23
Two weeks before the show opens. It feels like a lot of time. But then, in moments of blazing clarity (and panic), I realize that it’s actually not. Hyrum keeps confusing me when it comes to the chairs that we’re supposed to be using in each scene.

January 24
Our Polly has only tried on 2 costumes. I’m becoming concerned. The double Zangler scene looks great...definitely one of my favorite parts of the show. I wonder how many bottles there are actually supposed to be on the bar. Hm.

January 26
Spent a good hour or so after rehearsal concentrating on the tedious task of removing tape from the stage. Wow, was that boring. I still have tape under my nails. The show’s coming along, and I can tell it’s going to be great. It’s nice to have to continuity of running entire acts. I’m attempting to stem the tide of panic and responsibility awaiting me as soon as the Stage Manager leaves the stage for the booth and leaves me in charge of everything down here.

January 27
Double rehearsal today...morning and night! Hyrum had one of his obligatory tantrums at tonight’s work-through. He threw a music stand and said “I need to go away for awhile, because I’m just done with all of you.” He returned to find everyone rehearsing again, somewhat more focused this time, and for the record, he did 10 neutral breaths while gone.

January 29
Had a nightmare last night that we were trying to work scene changes, but we couldn’t because all of the set pieces were floating a few feet above the stage. We finally worked out a system of magnets to hold everything down, which proved to be problematic since everyone in the show wears tap shoes. The car came in today and it looks fantastic! Jenny ripped her pants on a “scary nail” in the hood where she hides, but it’s taped up now, and by tomorrow maybe we’ll have the car running. The fact that its a rental worth thousands of dollars scares the --------- outta me.

January 30
Rehearsal from hell. Tried to work scene changes as best I could without enough knowledge of where things are and who can move them. On the bright side, the car is running! Now we’ve just got to figure out how it can enter in between the lighting poles like its supposed to in Act II, without also hitting the flat directly in front of it. Hyrum finished choreographing “I Got Rhythm” tonight, at last. Only 2 more numbers to finish before we open in a week. Got enough people to help with scene changes and props and all tonight, so we should be good to go by tomorrow night. With the exception of that stupid abandoned theatre scene. I’ll have to apologize tomorrow to anyone I might have snapped at. And spend several hours assigning scene changes.

January 31
I stayed up until 3:30 in the morning working out scene changes, set arrangements, and prop assignments. I had to call into work with a “family emergency” in order to get everything done today that I needed to. Lord forgive me my white lie. Rehearsal was terrifying, but I think it was productive. The costumes look great. We spiked everything tonight. Not sure how that’s going to work out, since the stage still has to be painted. I accidentally almost sent about 6 chairs back to the ranch today in an effort to get organized. Thank goodness they stayed in the shop.

February 1
Another late night CHANGING scene changes. And of course it’s still not final. But we’re getting closer! I’ve decided that “Slap That Bass” is going to be my own personal dance solo backstage during this show. Mostly for Mallori, because she’s the only one who can see me. =) The orchestra was here tonight, and they sounded great! It really is going to be a fantastic show. It’s still nitty-gritty, but it’s getting smoother. We only did Act II tonight, so it’s before 11pm and I’m HOME! How great is that? I don’t know what it is about Riley, but he makes me laugh so much. Onstage and off. I’m glad for people like him. And God bless Cameron Boyle for his patience, good attitude, comfort, and smile! He’s keeping me sane during these rehearsals.

February 2
Hoorah for smoother rehearsals! Which were filled with awkwardness, for some weird reason. Dan kissed my teeth today. And I kept trying to say funny things that didn’t quite...work out the way I planned, or that didn’t get the reaction I hoped for. I think tomorrow I’m going to type up the REAL actual FINAL scene change list.

February 3
Whew! Rehearsal mania. Morning and night today...holy cow, it was overwhelming. I had to be there at 9 this morning, which was an experience that reminded me that I am NOT a morning person. Jordan playing the piano this morning was my sustaining force. That, and Cameron, as always. Adventures today consisted of finalizing the scene change list at last, and then changing it again during the highly necessary scene tech tonight, which we had since our male lead couldn’t make it to rehearsal. Poor Dan has bruised ribs and is in need of a root canal and so was in rehearsal with moderate amounts of pain and exorbitant amounts of prescription painkillers. Props to Jenny Farley for bravery! Today will go down in history as one of the first and only times I’ve ever seen anyone stand up to Hyrum’s bullying, and ask for a little respect! And she wasn’t rude or snotty about it! It was fantastic, and I was so proud of her! I decided tonight that I’m not cut out for stage managing, and I don’t enjoy it. Too complicated. I think my system might react poorly to the 4 or 5 Hostess Ding Dongs I consumed during rehearsal tonight.

February 5
Invited dress! The audience was fantastic, although somewhat...what’s the word Hyrum used?... “animalistic” at times. It went really well, no huge disasters, no ridiculous scene change catastrophes. My favorite part was the fact that in the last scene with the car, they opened the hood to “fix” it and found me sitting in it with a little sign that said “Great Dress Rehearsal.” But it felt like it was just what we needed to have a successful opening night!

February 6
We did it! We opened! Successfully! No injuries, no disasters, it was great! Here’s to a fantastic show! I’m so tired I can’t even think of anything else to say about it.

And a great picture of Jenny Mae, Beckah, and Dan from the show to end with!

You're hot like a crunchwrap supreme. Ciminoom lips and all.

Someday I want to do a study comparing the effects of sleepiness with the effects of alcohol. I know for sure you say things and occasionally take pictures that you regret later. Me + Jenny Mae + facebook + Valentine's day candy + no sleep = the following facebook communications. I have a feeling I'll be embarrassed about publishing this later.

1:51am
Liz: I just wanted to be part of the facebook messaging group. The inappropriate thing I was going to say to Jeff was something along the lines of "Let's make a baby" but then I remembered that we're not quite that good of friends yet. If I were Peter Pan, you'd be my happy thought.

1:53am
Jenny: oh that was funny. How funny did you think it was? I personally would say it was about a hippopotamus' size of funny.

1:56am
Liz: More like a love of George Micheal size funny. I hate the name Micheal because I never know how to spell it. It looks right if you put the e before the a OR after it and I always think of Micheal Jackson and get distracted by mental dancing. I get to work at noon tomorrow HHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH for tacos. Let's run away to find the treasure, just the two of us.

1:57am
Jenny: While thoughts of writing on your wall were passing through my head, I scrolled down my profile and was about to write
SEX ME PLEASE
on my own wall. how silly would that be? quite quite, yes I aggree.

1:59am
Jenny: I love treasure. it makes me feel like I am a pirate. But apparently you can
t be a pirate AND a ninja, and Jeff says I'm a ninja. Oh, but my love for George Michael or Micheal or Mike-ale or Miedkgnle is veryyyyyyyyyy (not veeerrrrryyy, emphasis on the y) large. And I'm not sure what happened tonight was that funny. ps check your wall.

2:03am
Liz: I'm doing it. Uhhmm...write it on my own wall, not do the thing that you almost wrote on your wall. This late-night face-book fun is better than sex.

2:03am
Liz: SEX ME PLEASE

2:04am
Liz: ps: CHECK YOUR WALL. AND MINE. Sorry for yelling. Emphasis on the y. Hie you over to your wall, I should say. Ha ha Scots are funny. And they wear skillets. I mean kilts. AND NO SKIVVIES!!!!!!!! I want to take my pants on but then Beckah's laptop will get all sweaty.

2:10am
Jenny: we should do this as our daily ab work out. I think I would like to take my pants on too. You know, and be a jolly good sport about it. Righteo! I farted 4 times in a row.

2:14am
Jenny: I have to tell you, emphasis on the y, that your message made no sense, not sence, to me. Oh my typing spellin gis so poor. I swear if there was no such thing as a back space You couldn''t understand what I am telling you. OOOOOOOOOOOO a whale of a tale and its all true I swear by my taboo!

2:17am
Liz: Sport should be fartings. I'm leaving it, I'm not changing it.I'm going to type you a song:
You can dance if you want to!
You can leave your pants behind!
Cause your pants don't dance and if they don't dance
Then they ain't no pants of mine!
You can dance!
You can dance!
Everybody take off your pants!
Or you can take them on. Strippers don't wear clothes. They also don't have laptops resting on their thighs. No sweat. I think I might be asleep right now. Everything makes sense to me. (I need to go home.) I think that I want to publish this message history someplace where people can laugh at it. We should publish it as an ab video! Like, instead of pilates, read roomate facebook 2 am messaging!

2:20am
Jenny: I almost did it again, but i forgot what awkward thing I was going to write on my wall. Oh yeah I was going to tell youa story about when my friend was in a really bad mood, she came to me by night, no she didn't, she came to me, well actually I was already there, so she walked up to me, ok so i was standing there and and she wanted to tell me something. But she did tell me something so I guess that was what I meant to say, it was more than just a desire. Yes it was put into place she came up to me, no. She said to me in this friendly way, because that was what we were, friends. Anyway she said "cheer me up!" because she was sad. I told you that already. Sorry. I don't mean to twell you something twice its just when something is importatn I gotta get it off my chest. So you know how I responded, to cheer her up?
MY BOOBS ARE ON FIRE!

2:21am
Liz: You swear by your taboo? I always feel silly when I say that word. Like a monkey.

2:27am
Jenny: there comes a day wehen you gotta look the potato of injustice right in the eye!! cause life is like a mop. Gets full of dirt and bugs and crap. you gotta rinse it out. and sometimes life sticks to the floor so bad, a mop, a mop won't do it. You gotta get down on the floor with a tuthbrush (yes, i know I spelled it wrong DEAL WITH IT). and if that doesn't work. you can't give up! (unnecissary period, don't know what i was thinking htere) you gotta go to the window and yell, hey! These floors are dirty as hell, and I;m not gonna take it anymore!

2:28am
Jenny: monkey monkey monkey. Oh, I just realized this is MY wall...

2:30am
Liz: You broke my heart in two. I'll always keep that pedestal for you!

2:36am
Liz: We both updated our statuses...stati? to be the same joke that only we understand! Ha ha ha. I'm feeling a little flustered here. I better just go back to playing my harmonica.

2:41am
Liz: There comes a time in every young woman's life when she should go to bed. I think I'm nearing that time. 3 o clock. I will be in bed. Remember when you were a rocking chair. Good times.

2:42am
Liz: You're a snifty winker. It sounds like a Willy Wonka candy, I know, but you'd be surprised how UNLIKE a Willy Wonka candy it is.

2:43am
Jenny: Ya, harmonicas always sooth me too. It reminds me of the good ole days when i would sit up on cherry tree rd and chase the ice cream man with my bloody sock to see if he would pity me enough to give me free ice cream. Or when I got a little older, and decided that one... apparently I am snifty. Maybe that is what my status should be. anyway, one brother was not enough so I folded a blanket up and took it to ...ok this story sucks. and its all lies! ALL OF IT, LIES! I'm a monster!

2:46am
Jenny: Jenny is hie, don't worry about it. Jenny's mood depends on the amount of ciminoom lips she eats. Now her legs are the sweaty ones. Liz, what just happened to her compute.

2:47am
Liz: Why were your sock bloody? You're my hero, ciminoom lip master.

2:48am
Jenny: I was one with that rocking chair. hooooooooommm. empahsis on the om. um, good idea. lets go to bed.

2:57am
Liz: I like it when you dance. Dance for me every day. Like a rocking chair. My toe ring feels silly on my toe right now. Perhaps its done being a toe ring. Maybe it decided to become a defense lawyer. Mmm, lawyers are hot. And not the ciminoom kind. Is cinnamin spicy or hot? Or I should say, am I spicy or hot? Like a crunchwrap. SUPREME.

2:58am
Jenny: I like how we both decided sleep was good but we both refuse to do so!

2:59am
Liz: I think I'm going in 2 mintues. I always mispell that word when I'm typing it and "mintues" sounds like the name of minty chocolate Austrian candies.

3:18am
Jenny: I really like crunchwrap supremes! Supremes ont he house! Ohana is supremem eating of crunch wrappers of crunch and supremitity. Ha, I wrote tity.

From the latin "desideratum," meaning "desired thing"

Just had one of those cool cosmic moments today, when everything sort of seems connected and you're reminded of the surety with which you know there is a God. I just thought I'd share it.
We had a cool lesson today in Relief Society about death and balance and emotions and faith, and I got a lot out of it. I have Relief Society in the Kirkham Actor's Studio, and toward the end of the lesson, I noticed a prop picture frame with something typed on it. I was curious, and so after church I went and picked it up and read it. It turned out to be Max Ehrmann's "Desiderata," which I had never read or even heard of before, and reading it, everything that I had thought about today and the last few days just sort of fell into place and was expressed in this composition. It was really cool, so I thought I'd share it with you all here.

DESIDERATA

Go placidly amid the noise & haste; & remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly & clearly; & listen to others, even the dull & ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud & aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater & lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; & everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity & disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue & loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees & the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors & aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann

Good sabbath to everyone!

"Eating oatmeal? More like SMOTE-meal!"

Hi all. I realize that this is a completely random picture to post, but its relevant because A) I recently got a henna tattoo, and B) My sister loves camels. Plus, I just thought it was really funny.

So, it occurred to me this morning that I totally wrote a blog on Monday that I forgot to actually post. So here's that one before I post anything else:

Common states of non-bitter single people...

Romantically-focused: Elevated awareness and desire regarding romance and all things related to it, manifested in listening to romantic music, watching romantic comedies, and taking long walks in the moonlight.

Sexually-frustrated: Heightened desire for physical intimacy consisting of anything from holding hands to kissing to spooning to other things that Mormons don’t get to do until we’re married.

Love-hungry: A dangerous combination of the above two states of being, in which the individual’s desire for romance is manifested in impulsive desires to kiss, cuddle and flirt with members of the opposite sex, which are in some extreme cases, followed, with or without dire consequences.

I’m definitely in the last state of being right now. I don’t know why. It’s really not quite fair, if you ask me. I’m afraid I’ll come off as a Mormon hussy if I flirt and cuddle with as many boys as I want to as often as I want to nowadays. This girl just needs a little lovin’! If one’s primary “love-language” is physical touch, it sure is awful hard to keep that love-tank full when you’re single. Because it still needs filling regardless of my dating status! But most people aren’t ready cuddlers, so you have to initiate it somehow, without seeming a strumpet. A rock and a hard place, if you ask me. I want physical attention. Even if it’s non-romantic.

I’m both really excited and slightly nervous about ASM-ing for “Crazy For You.” My nervousness is about 15% about working with Hyrum, and 85% about the fact that theatre people are so much more flirtatious, and this is a very flirtatious show done by people who are very good friends with each other and yours truly and if I manage to keep my love-hungry self under control during all this backstage closeness it’ll be a miracle. And of course, there have to be attractive boys to lust after in this cast. I was hoping to get onstage in the show and replace one of the flaky actresses who can’t act and who doesn’t show up to rehearsal, but no such luck. But I’m dying to be involved, so me techie blacks I shall don and a headset I shall wear!

Um, I thought I had more to write about, but apparently not. All y’all in “Crazy For You,” I’ll see ya in rehearsal.

For the record, I was all right in the self-control area. It was the boys who had trouble controlling themselves around ME. =) Just kidding, that's not true. But I was actually more focused on other things. Namely, the fact that I haven't worked with Hyrum Conrad since "Fiddler on the Roof," which was...winter of 2005. Like, 2 years. And that after all that time, I don't think I'm so much a fan of Hyrum and his directing style. Nothing I can't work with, of course, but it was an interesting revelation.
In spite of the fact that I don't think I enjoy working with Hyrum as a director, I really want to be IN his show. Not just involved. Not just the "sort of assistant stage manager waiting to know what her job actually is." It was harder than I thought it would be...watching everyone on that stage and not being up there with them. I could be good! I could play Bobby's Mother! And at least 6 people came up to me confidentially and told me that they really want me to replace the current Bobby's mother and be on stage with them. I don't mean to be rude to the current actress, but IF YOU DON'T COME TO REHEARSAL FOR 2 AND A HALF WEEKS WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE WHAT'S GOING ON, YOU LOSE THE PRIVILEGE OF BEING IN THE SHOW. In other situations, you gotta cut people some slack because they're all you have. But in this case, there are several other people who could do a great job and are willing and able to be committed to the show and be professional and love every minute of it! Like me. And I'm not the only one. But Hyrum's got some inexplicable chip on his shoulder about me, and in spite of many prayers, I don't know that he'll be willing to let me on the stage. Power-games, that's what that man plays in his directing. Un-professional if you ask me.
BUT, on the bright side, I've totally got fun, loving friends, a well-paying, bearable job, and several warm blankets to sleep under these chilly nights. I'm headed upstairs to chat with the managers about the fact that I actually CAN pay my rent, another happy thing, and then I'm going to watch a movie and enjoy the rest of my day off. And I don't think I'm going to do my hair. At all. I'm not even going to touch it. So ha ha.

And speaking of theatre, check out this pic from a recent performance of "Comedy of Errors" in the Bay Area, starring my stepfather as BOTH Antipholuses (would that be Antipholi...?)--that's him in the red shirt, and my mother as the Courtesan. The picture's a little small, but I hope I look like my Mom for the rest of my life.

"A life lived in fear is a life half-lived."

Thursday night, Rexburg, Idaho. I have a job. I left the house this morning at 9:30 determined to come home with a job. I returned at 11:00 this morning as a full-time employee of the downtown Taco Bell. Not the classiest job, believe me I know. But it’s close by, good hours and good pay. Goal accomplished.

I also am currently sitting in my dining room and sort of watching Benny and Joon and getting semi-annoyed with the random guy watching. This doesn’t seem to be his kind of movie. Ag Business major, figures. I can’t help but take it a little personally when people don’t share my tastes. Oh well. I resolved this New Year to be less judgmental. I’m starting out by continuing to judge, but finding something positive for every judgment I make. So, I hate it when people feel a need to immaturely criticize movies that they don’t understand, and its even worse when they try to be funny as well. But then again, I tend to criticize the lives of Ag Business majors because I don’t understand them.

So I spent the entire vacation missing my friends, and now that I’m back here with them, I haven’t gone to see a-one. I get scared. I have this ridiculous fear, that’s unfounded most of the time, that either no one really remembers who I am, or that no one actually considers me their friend. Which is stupid. In spite of my ability to be friendly, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m actually pretty shy. I always have been. In my own way. Not shy like in the quintessential way, but when given the choice between seeing people and not seeing them, most of the time I opt for the easy out and choose not seeing them. Silly Liz.

Speaking of silly, I was craving Thai food today, and headed out to the little joint next to the Westwood Theatre to get some. When I arrived, I discovered that it was still closed for the holidays! But I really really wanted Asian food, so after some debate, I headed to Fong’s Chinese Cuisine. I had a vague memory of thinking that it was terrible food, but that was a long time ago. I should have known better than to seek good Chinese food in Rexburg, Idaho, but I was hungry. So I gave it a shot.

It was the most revolting meal I have ever attempted to eat in my life. I ordered fried pork won ton and beef noodles with egg. What arrived was 10 deep fried somethin or others with about 0.25 oz. of pork jerky in each. And a bowl of overcooked spaghetti with canned beef/gravy over the top. And a hard-boiled egg quartered and placed on top. I forgot how unlike Asian food Fong’s is.

Anyway, the point is I’m hungry. I think I’ll go get some grub, and then see if I can’t get my courage up enough to go visit someone.