Just to remind you...

I'm madly, hopelessly, whirlingly, gloriously in love with you.

Today is pretty normal today...

Just a few recent gems from MyLifeIsAverage.com, which I've stayed up reading, despite my state of exhaustion...



Today a bug landed on my computer screen so I tried clicking on it with my mouse. It fell off and died. I think I kind of did that with my mind. MLIA

Today, I was messing around on my MacBook Pro and I found out that I could change my language to Australian English. There's no actual difference, but I am now reading everything with an Australian accent. MLIA.

Today, I learned that peek-a-boo scares the crap out of my pet turtle. MLIA

Today, I realized that lol'd, the past tense of lol, is inaccurate. That would mean laugh out louded. L'dol, however awkward, would be correct. MLIA

Today I saw a sign on the road that said "Caution! Ice may exist!" Which was a relief, because I was afraid it might just be a myth. MLIA.

Today, my father went to the bookstore to buy a book on how to improve memory. When he got home, he realized he already owned the book. MLIA

If it's not one thing...

It's another.

I now have a cold. And not just any cold. One of the worst colds EVER.

One day, this blog will be positive again. One day it will again reveal a rose-colored outlook on life. But in the meantime, I'm sssooooooooo sick!!!!

And I'm going to complain about it.

My nose is alternately runny and stuffy.
My head feels like it weighs 800 pounds.
I'm ache-y all over.
I'm tired. All over.
All I want to do is sleep. And I'm so tired of laying around.

And I do not have time to be sick! There is WORK that needs to be done, TRASH that needs to be taken out, CLASSES that need to be attended, HOMEWORK that needs to be done! It's only the beginning of the semester, and I'm hanging on to my GPA by my fingernails. I know it will be okay, but I'd rather it be EASY.

A memo: RANT

I love the Gospel, and I know it's true, but...

To all members of Rexburg Mormon Culture:

Dating someone for 5 months without getting engaged does not mean that anything is wrong with a relationship.

Also please see related rant from a previous entry.

Sincerely, Liz

Sorry I've been so grumpy lately, blogosphere. But conversations like the following irk me to no end. These are actual conversations that have taken place in the last few days:

GUY: How long have you guys been dating?
ME: 5 months.
GUY: Wow. So is it...getting close?

GIRL: So how long have you guys been dating?
ME: About 5 wonderful months.
GIRL: 5 MONTHS?! Geez, girl, is this actually going anywhere?

Grrrr. It's so nosey and based off of faulty and flawed preconceived notions that I feel so strongly can be destructive.

If I had broken up with Jacob after 2 months because he hadn't proposed, I would never know the happiness and progress I know! We've been listening to the LORD, not Mormons, and I don't know how to explain this without sounding self-righteous. (Which I probably am in my impatience with my fellow man...)

I've been giving my standard "shocking" answer, to divert attention from the question and to hint that people are being nosey. ("Well, we've been sleeping together for about 2 months now, so we figured we'd skip the whole temple marriage thing." Which is not true, by the way.) But apparently, people arent' getting it, and I'm afraid I'll start saying things like "Oh, we're discussing personal things based on faulty cultural notions? Ok! Why are you still single? You've probably been sinning, otherwise you'd have a boyfriend/girlfriend."

Hmph. I would say it, except I feel like people would find me over-reactive and out-of-touch, and I don't want to explain my whole philosophy to people who probably wouldn't even care, every time I get asked a question like "Is this going anywhere?"

If you really care about Jacob and I, and are close to us, I don't mind your sincere inquiries into the nature of our relationship, and wanting the best for us.

But don't say things like that to people you hardly know. Okay?

Tuesday Sunshine

I'll just be candid. In an effort to combat the particularly violent forces of estrogen and progesterone that are currently causing alarming fluctuations of serotonin, gamma-aminobutyric acid, endorphins, and norepinephrine within me, I shall list here the things that make me very very happy. Both currently and in general. A little bloggy sunshine. Counting your blessings, and all that.

1. Spontaneous/creative/poetic street art. Check it out: "Creativity will prevent violence through the restoration of the artist in everyone." --Carolyna Marks


2. The sword-fighting in Macbeth. I don't want to post too many "real" rehearsal videos until after the production is closed--don't want to ruin the surprise of AWESOME-NESS--but I will allow you a sneak peek here. (Also, Jacob's in it. And he's attractive. And he has a contagious wonderful laugh. The fights are not full-out or full-speed, and this was early in the learning process. So now everyone's fights looks more like this.)

3. Pearl Jam. Pearl Jam makes me immensely happy. And probably always will.

4. Jacob. My darling Jacob, whom I adore even in the rough patches. He'll probably dread any encroaching PMS episode I ever have based on this one alone, but he's a gem and I love him and I love his hand-written notes slipped into the pockets of my sweaters, his thoughtful e-mails, his tender hands, his sweet kisses, and his desire to communicate and make it work even when skies are cloudy, so to speak.

5. Pretty dresses. I'm in love with all pretty dresses.

I'm going to go online and look at some. Shalom to all.

"Millions shall know Brother Joseph again..."

Take a moment to "mentally remove your shoes" before you read this, since you'll be walking on some sacred ground. I got this in an e-mail from Brother Allison, my Doctrine & Covenants teacher here at BYU-Idaho. And I thought it was INCREDIBLE!!! So I'm sharing it here.

"Years of research went into authenticating this photo. While the evidence points strongly towards this photo being the only known photo of Joseph Smith Jr., there is still some room for doubt – it isn’t possible to state with certitude that this Joseph. The research involved forensics with the actual skull of Joseph, historical data, written accounts of contemporaries who knew and described Joseph’s physical features, and so forth. Research was done with the photo itself which the RLDS (now the Community of Christ) church had in its possession. In fact, a great deal of research went into who took this daguerreotype (similar to a photo), when it was taken, the clothing in the photo, etc." --Bro. Allison

Here is the daguerreotype:

And this, my friends, is a digitally restored/forensically researched/digitally created picture of Joseph Smith, Jr. Blessed to open the last dispensation.

THAT is pretty darn awesome.

Deja Vu, or "The Cinderblock Prison"

I live in the dorms. Only temporarily, thank goodness, but when I left these halls in the winter of 2005, I thought never to cross their threshold again. Yet through a series of terribly unfortunate events, I find myself and three suitcases worth of stuff moved into "on-campus housing."

A time-line

Friday afternoon: "Geez, why is our house so cold?! Is someone's window open? Stupid old house with its temperamental heating."

Friday evening: Notice from managers that heat won't be fixed until next week. "Wait--'fixed'? You mean it's BROKEN?! Do you KNOW how cold Rexburg is right now?!"

Friday night: Text from Annie reading "Managers brought down space heaters, but don't turn on any lights when you get home because we keep blowing fuses."

Friday night through Saturday night: After much trial and error, we memorize the complex system of wiring in our house ("This outlet is connected to the fridge, the lights in the kitchen, and the downstairs bathroom..."), and we run the space heaters with strategic use of outlets to avoid blowing fuses, but we keep having to go flip the breakers anyway.

Sunday morning: "Do you guys have electricity in your room? We don't either. Hey, do you guys have lights downstairs? What? There's no electricity ANYWHERE in the building?!"

Sunday afternoon: Notice from managers that they're not sure what's going on with the power and to find someplace to sleep that night. I stay with the Chapman family.

Monday afternoon: Power AND heat still out. Breath is visible while sitting in the living room. Meeting called to update tenants on the situation.

Monday night: Meeting held, where we're notified that the furnace will be fixed by that night, but the electrical wiring for the house is completely shot, which is understandable because the wiring is from the 1940's or so. It will need to be re-done. Entirely. Which entails sawing holes in walls and ceilings, and which will put us out of house and home for at least 2 weeks. We are told that there are empty dorm rooms available that we will be moved into (rent-free), and to please remove everything from the walls, pack your valuables, and cover anything you don't want to risk having damaged. We go to the dorms to "check in" and I sleep at the Chapmans' again.

Tuesday morning: I go to the house and pack up a suitcase, my bedding, a backpack, a laundry basket, and a cardboard box of stuff and, with the help of Jacob, haul it up to the dorms. I unpack, but keep thinking of things I left behind on accident.

And after several more trips back to the house for things I forgot, I am officially moved in to the dorms, for the next few weeks, or until the wiring in my house is repaired.

The DORMS.

It's kind of like moving into a cheap hotel for an undetermined period of time, but with no decor, no housekeeping service, and a lot of freshmen. There are a few pro's though. To go with the cons.

PRO: A DISWASHER!!!!
CON: Most of our dishes are still at home, and our fare is eaten mostly from paper plates. And we don't have dishsoap.

PRO: A shorter walk to the Ricks/MC/Kimball.
CON: A longer walk to the Snow building.

PRO: The shower actually drains, and the bathroom actually has ventilation.
CON: Um. Actually, there are no cons to go with this.

In all honesty, it's really not that bad. It could be so much worse. It's nice not having to walk uphill as long to get places--living on campus means you're closer to everything. We could have had to move out permanently. We could have had to move in with already established apartments. We could have had a flood or a fire or some other disaster that destroyed all of our belongings. We really are blessed. There are so many other people in the world who would be SOOO grateful for even the dorms--shelter and heat and a bed, etc. And I had some good times when I was in the dorms. It's just that those days are past, and it's (unfortunately) human nature to make gratitude relative. And Annie and I are now the 24-year-old girls living in the dorms. So that's awkward.

There is this fun advantage, too...Jacob walked me to the door last night, and we pretended that we were both 18-year-old freshmen, on our third date, and that it was our first kiss. ("Girls, you owe me ice cream!") So that was fun. We think we're going to continue the charade for as long as I'm staying there.

The Macbeth Awards

As the Macbeth rehearsal process has begun, I've decided that there are certain members who need to be commended for their contributions. I apologize to those who don't know these individuals, but I commend them anyway.

The Unexpected Casting Award: Kimball, for being moved from an Assistant Stage Manager to a witch double in one rehearsal

The Uninhibited Award: Amelia, for having awesome witch laughs and choreographing epic fights (and also for giving ME permission to be uninhibited, an onstage goal of mine lately)

The Confident Sword-fighting Award: Scott Chapman, for joining the corps of boys who've been fighting for a month or so, even though he has no previous stage experience.

The Generally Awesome Award: Jacob Chapman, for his fight at the end of the final battle, and for meriting the statement "Your boyfriend is awesome" from two separate people at rehearsal this morning.

The Hilarious and Adorable When Frustrated With Lines Award: Meredith Bellows, for being hilarious and adorable when she's frustrated with lines. (Mer, you WILL get that scene! I promise!)

The Songs about Characters Award: David Aintablian, for composing songs with lyrics like "His wife is dead, WTF" about various characters in the show.

The Willing to Have Personal Bubble Burst Award: Caleb, whose name we didn't even know when we first blocked that part where the witches caress, kiss, attempt to eat, and drag down to hell his body.

The "When in Doubt, Yell" Award: Seth Nehring, for just holding up his sword and yelling, when he forgot the lines of his "pumping up the soldiers" speech towards the end. (And his soldiers should be commended for just going along with it and joining in.)

The Foolishly Uninhibited Award: Me, for being so "uninhibited" in rehearsal a few nights ago, that I re-hyper-extended my right knee, which was originally injured in summer of 2007.

The year in review

I think I cheated by giving more than one answer to most of these. But I justify it with the fact that I'm the one who made up the questions.

Best moment of 2009: August 24th, at 5:30 in the morning, when Jacob announced he would like to date me. Close seconds include: all of the weekend of Shanelle’s farewell, the roadtrip/family reunion marathon of the summer (you can read about it here, here, here and here), “Alive” at the Pearl Jam concert, Carrie’s bachelorette party, every visit to the Playmill, motorcycle rides around the outskirts of Rexburg, and the night of the jazz combos concert over the summer.

Worst moment of 2009: Not getting cast at Playmill and not having any idea where I was supposed to be or what I was supposed to be doing. (It turned out wonderfully, by the way. I met some wonderful roommates and a wonderful guy and made some great friends and had some incredible experiences. Even though I was confused at first, it turned out that I was right where I was supposed to be this past summer).

Biggest surprise of 2009: Jacob. And the various engagements of friends.

What I would change about 2009 if I could: I would have gone to the temple more…read my scriptures more…been better in general.

Greatest accomplishment of 2009: Getting a 3.5 GPA summer semester. Partly because I was taking a few challenging classes (AKA Grammar), but also because I somehow managed to get that GPA from my 12 credits while simultaneously: singing in a jazz combo, doing hours for tech theatre, tech-ing one of the main stage shows, being in a one-act play, working as a secretary for the English Department, working at the call center, doing graphic design for the theatre department, giving guitar lessons, and visiting West Yellowstone regularly.

Quote of 2009: There are too many historically funny ones to single out the “best” or “most memorable.” So I chose the two that have become part of my friends’ and I’s lexicons. These are: “I’ma sing in my off-the-SHOULDER yellow dress!” (me) or “Heh heh…why not? Could be fun.” (JP)

Favorite movie discovered in 2009: After hours of reflection, I have decided that this one is impossible to answer. So I shall declare that Netflix Instant Viewing is the best “movie discovery” of the year. Many a documentary and hard-to-find film has made it’s way into my heart via that feature.

Favorite band discovered in 2009: PEARL JAM. Also got more turned on to Jimi Hendrix, Jeff Buckley, Ingrid Michaelson, and Soundgarden.

Favorite song discovered in 2009: “Ruby Blue” by Roison Murphy, “Black and Gold” by Sam Sparro, “Do the Evolution” and “Given to Fly” by Pearl Jam, and “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis Presley. The last song I’d discovered before, but this year I seem to have actually realized its greatness.

Most interesting intellectual thing learned in 2009: Educational psychology! Most specifically more about how the brain functions…myelination and synaptic pruning and all kinds of cool stuff!

Most important spiritual thing learned in 2009: Sometimes the Lord guides you to something that feels RIGHT, just so that you’ll turn to Him when it doesn’t go as you had expected. When things don’t turn out the way you planned—when you don’t get cast at Playmill, when JP doesn’t ask you out, when you call off the wedding—it doesn’t mean that your initial choices or feelings were necessarily wrong. It just means that you need to learn to trust the Lord more. When things like that happen, you can either despair and give in to confusion, or say “Lord, I don’t really understand where I’m supposed to be or what I’m supposed to do right now, but I’ll just trust you and keep listening.” And when you choose the latter, the Lord ALWAYS guides you, and eventually you’ll figure out why things happened the way they did.

Scariest moment of 2009: The government coup in Honduras was pretty scary. You know, when my family was there and there were curfews and riots, etc. I was also pretty terrified when my sister got in a car accident (she and the other passengers were all fine).

Most comforting moment of 2009: Laying out in the hammock in the yard towards the end of winter semester, crying with confusion and fear and frustration…not knowing where I was supposed to be or why the things I felt the Lord for me weren’t happening. I prayed and prayed, asking the Lord to send me some sign that I was being cared for, even though I knew and told the Lord that I should be more faithful without it. I was asking for comfort…I had such a longing to be gathered into my Heavenly Father’s arms and lulled gently to peace. And as I was praying and crying in the still night, a strong breeze came rushing through the trees and rocked the hammock I was laying in, and just as quickly was gone. The thought and feeling came strongly into my heart that it was the Lord’s way of saying “I’m here. And I will rock you to peace. Be still. You are loved, and I will help you see that it will all work out.”

What a wonderful year! I’m so grateful for the INNUMERABLE blessings of the last year. I hope to do more this coming year to be worthy of those blessings. God bless you all in 2010!