Dear allergies,
This has GOT to stop. You have GOT to leave me alone. When we first started out together, things were going well, but...okay, I lied. It was never going well. It's time to get the message and hit the road. I've been trying to drop hints for MONTHS now. Allegra, Zyrtec, Claritin, Benadryl, allergenic bedsheets, and air purifiers. I don't know why you haven't tuned in to all this, but I don't know how else I can tell you that I am NOT INTERESTED.
If I have one more allergy attack, I'm cutting off my nose.
Love (or NOT),
Liz
(The title of this blog is a line from the most overdone monologue in the history of contemporary theatre. Star-Spangled Girl. If you ever audition for something, don't use this monologue.)
Cutting your nose - ALWAYS works. Tried. And. Tested. Seriously, the allergies, whatever their kind be, are so irritating... specially, when you can't figure out how to get rid of them.
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